I loved when we first met. I felt like I was on top of the world. Sierra and I just broke it off and I was ready to move on and start again. You kept me on my toes and still do. But as of lately it seems like you just don't have time for me anymore. You're always working, you seems to hang all over Nick and move toward him, this whole week you've spent it telling me you can't spend time with me. When I see you at work, you're in awful moods and you give me this attitude like it's my fault or like I'm the person you want to take it out on. You hurt to be around now, I see you and it just makes me ache. I don't feel important to you, I don't feel wanted, I just feel as if I'm being put on the back burner, to be taken for granted and to let the *** boil over. I don't know what to do anymore. I started talking to Sierra a little bit, she tells me every day how she misses me, and to be honest when I talk to her I miss her as well. She never treated me how you do, she never took her anger out on me, we never fought, we never had days where we didn't want anything to do with each other, but I still left her for you. I left her at a chance at something maybe even better but what I got myself involved in has been nothing but fighting and drama. You always yell at me, you take all my words out of context and twist them around to make me the bad guy. You take your anger out on me, push me away when you're upset and do your best to keep your distance. I never thought I would come to say this but you're making me sad, you're taking the life away from me, you're just not what I thought you would. Now don't get me wrong, the sun sets and rises around you but *******, I'm just so sick of you treating me the way you do. It's not fair, I do my best to sit there and make you happy but you only throw things in my face and hurt my feelings. I don't know what else I expected though. I just figured things wouldn't be such a drag so often.

I'd rather sit home alone, than be surrounded by people not looking out for my best interest.
Sure, socialization feels great, but it carries emptiness when it isn't genuine connection.
I never find people to connect with, woe is me.
But **** it, I'm happy where I'm at.

I'd never be the one you need around.
I'd **** to just be the dust on your shelves.
Look at me, I exist.
I'm not some background character.
I'm important.
One day, you'll see me.
But no time soon.

The clock ticked,
on and on,
still set I,
the dining room table.
Around me,
movement,
still set I,
the dining room table.

Dear Rose,

Life has put me through very much just as it has for you and I know you understand that when I reach a point in time, I just break. We all do. Last night was no excuse to make you cry and to stress you out to the point of yelling and from the deepest conviction, I regret every second of my actions. The wrong look from you breaks me, I let the words of others tear me to pieces, and I let those opinions from others dig at me for no reason. I know it's in my control to let that happen, but at times I forget and I don't know what to do. I lose track of the progress I've made with myself and with you. I know I've got things I need to work on and I try my best to work every day at improving myself and I hope you see that. I hope that you don't think less of me for breaking both of us down last night, for being in the wrong and making things worse than what they had to be and what they even were. I hope you still look at me as the guy you fell in love with and not a burden that comes across to only make your life worse. I know I can't take back last night but I can do my best to make every night after that the best you've ever had or at least better than then. Rose, I hope you're making it well today and I hope that the rest of your days are well too. Enjoy the time spent with your mom tonight and enjoy the time you have to think to yourself. I'll be here, and I'll keep the lights on if you need me. My phone will be at my side, and my heart will remain open just as the door will remain unlocked. I love you...

I hate everyone that I know,
then I wonder "where did my friends go?"
******* poor me,
always suffering.
Everyone will let me down,
one way or the other.
One day I'll be dead and gone,
maybe then we'll get along.
I'm not holding my breathe.
What do I know?
I know nothing.

I Put all I had on the line for you.
To be thrown away and forgotten.
Set to the side, for everything else.
You told me you loved me.
You told me we had a future.
You lied.
You did what everyone else did and just ******* left.
You used me until you didn't have to.
You stole my heart,
My happiness,
And the peace of mind I worked so hard for.
Do you even feel remorse?
Does it feel lonely in your bed?
How does it feel to know you broke me?
You don't care,
I don't know why I do honestly.
Maybe because I know how it feels to lose something you put so much time into.
I know you sleep well at night.
I know you don't think of me, but I hope you do.
I hope you feel sorry.
I hope you hate the choices you made.
I hope you hate yourself.
When you look in the mirror, shall misery embody itself upon you.
I hope you stay home and realize that alone is how you'll die.
Your animals will die before you and you'll die before me.
That funeral will be nice to watch.
And when I stomp on your grave as a sincere "*******" I hope you feel it.