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M Oct 2014
I just want to slow it down with you,
So when our minds collide, I can think it through-
Slo-mo us forming a connection in hearts and mind,
Confirming I've found what I want to find-

The shoulder to lean on,
The curvature of your body at dawn,
The assurance and accountability,
Your attention, to the best of your ability.

I want to slow it down with you
When you're simply spacing out, haven't a clue
That the cosmos and stars don't have anything compared
The amount of time I think we should have shared

Together, finding the inner cogs and ticks
Of our beating hearts, what does the trick
To make our spinning minds revolve around
The everlasting could be of us, a continuing yell into a canyon's echo sound.

I want to slow if down for us
So we can look past superficial and lust.
I want to slow it down when I'm within your embrace
Because I'm not looking for a chase.

I want to slow it down so I know time passing doesn't mean we will,
Or your time here will fall ill.
I want to slow it down for once and hear the clock's gears tick, pass and go;
I want to slow it down with you so maybe, with patience and time, something between us and grow

Like the forests with towering evergreens
With trunks increasing in age and rings-
I want to slow it down with you,
In every moment, in everything we do.
M Oct 2014
Though your hand pulled the trigger,
You tied your own noose,
You emptied the bottle's contents into your hands,
You jumped and finally let loose,

Your hand could have been held,
Your voice could have been heard.
Your tears could have been wiped away,
Your demons could have been cured.

They say suicide is selfish,
At one's own will and action.
Why is it that until after the fact,
We finally give a reaction?

Life should be cherished
While still around.
Don't tell me some don't speak up,
Don't tell me they never made a sound.

We're all fighting battles
Day in and day out,
And in my heart of hearts,
These people didn't **** themselves on their own; I have no doubts.

Controversial and complicated,
Evoking and deep,
Taking your own life
Is not a solo leap

Into the unknown of death,
Afterlife and reincarnation;
It's a leap that's sometimes aided,
A path that's prepaved towards life's suffocation.

Yes, suicide is a solo act
Done on your own,
And reasons why people choose this fate
Will sometimes be left unknown.

Don't be a force behind a trigger though,
A force behind tying a rope;
Be a force of empathy and compassion,
A force of inspiring hope.

We can't save the world,
Or all the lost souls.
We can save our own actions though,
And keep in mind what we ought to always know;

You never truly know
What people are enduring,
What people are hiding,
Why people are hurting.

You never truly know
Who needs a simple smile or a grand gesture-
Whoever you help though,
Will always remember.

Therefore, with clichés aside
And pessimistic notions unheard
Please love and be kind and listen;
Their abilities to save and set free are one of the only things in this world I am assured.

We leave marks upon this world,
Without our consent and sometimes our conscious thought.
So try to leave behind marks that inspire and grow,
Marks that in the best light, cannot be forgot.

Though you pulled the trigger
And tied your own noose,
I wish you knew that path wasn't made for you,
And that will forever remain the truth.

I wish you knew that you weren't alone,
Even in your darkest hour.
I wish you knew that pulling that trigger
Didn't give you all the control and power-

It took a life worth living,
A soul worth saving and repairing.
It took your whole life to make it to that point,
And seconds to leave us all despairing

For closure, reason and hindsight
As to why you didn't reach for aid.
But even more so,
Why our own arms, now shaking by our sides, heartwrenchingly stayed.
Suicide is controversial so with that in mind, I appreciate commentary but please don't attack me for my standpoint on the matter. This subject can open up a lot of doors and by writing this, as much of my writing is, I'm expressing myself the best way I know how. I'm not looking for a debate here, please don't start one.

Within 7 months at my high school, 3 students committed suicide. I didn't know any of them personally but it still impacted me and does to this day. It reaffirmed that people change, leave or die without much notice. Therefore, be kind. Be understanding. Tell people you love them while you can. Your actions can stir up more than you can comprehend, for the best or the worst. 3 suicides later, watching friends, my school and community cope finally convinced me that taking my own life was not worth it and finding help was my only option. I struggled throughout middle school up until my senior year with bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts. Some people aided me on that path; they bullied me, called me names, etc. And they didn't know the damage they were inflicting. There were also people that saved my life without even knowing it, and every day I am thankful for the small to grand, conscious to unconscious efforts to keep me around.

Ultimately, this is about how the path to suicide isn't a solo path; people are sometimes driven to extreme measures because of how people have treated them before. Don't be nice to others because you're fearful they'll **** themselves if you aren't; that isn't what this is about. It's about being the best version of yourself to others because you just never really know how someone's life is going. You can't control anyone but yourself, so control the fact that you can be good to people. Giving to others, I have found, does nt leave you any less full but even more so. Give love, give a hand, give help and guidance and take those things when given to you. Please please PLEASE know that your life is important, and worth saving, even if you have to save yourself.
M Oct 2014
Homesick in my own home because home isn't a place,
It's the feeling of belonging and those who make me feel so live so far away.

Homesick in my own town where I was born and raised,
Homesick for the people that I love, for the people I wish had stayed.
M Oct 2014
Keep your hands where I can see them-
Not at the small of my back where your fingertips could roll down my spine and ignite the open fuses in my heart.

Keep your words in your throat-
Swallow them down the same way I swallowed the lump in my throat when I realized I was a trophy on your shelf, a prize that collected dust.

Keep your heart within your ribcage-
Don't offer it out in slivers of affection, in segmented allocations of desire and lust. Keep your ******* heart contained if you can't even keep it whole.

Keep to yourself, it's all I really ask-
I used to ask the opposite of you, though I came to see that you had a padlock on your heart I couldn't figure the combination to.

Please keep far away from me; don't check in and don't text, don't call and don't bother because I can't answer calls from the past nor can I keep my heart to myself when you can't keep to yourself.
Aug 29 2014
M Oct 2014
Thinly spread like ice sheets in the arctic sea; look through and see the deep depths of ocean water blue, tap tap tap and leave a crack.

Spreading thin and far, encompassing a continent with the chill of realizing spreading thin the way I do leaves me tiptoeing across, tripping on a crack and breaking all the way through.

Chills down my spine, hypothermia creeps in quick and I grapple for solid groud but thin ice can't hold me now, nor did it ever.

Vast and thin left me falling in and now I can't swim, ice blue depths **** me in and all the lights grow dim.
I realized that I don't commit to anything; church, work, school, people. I spread myself to thin so I'm at least widespread but I don't know if that's better than being invested in a few things and succeeding at them.
M Oct 2014
Clocks innately bind us to circumstance and the off chance that maybe we'll land side by side, 11:59 to my 12 o'clock.
Abiding by the time we are afforded, the ticks are sported on the leather and faces on our wrists.
I found you at the wrong time and now I've come to find you're consuming all of mine.
M Oct 2014
A bowl of seeds in front of me remind me of you-

I had to cut through thick skin and peel it away just to get at the good stuff.

It didn't stop there though-

I had to pick and probe, inspect and search for remnants of the thick skin so when I sink my teeth into the fruit, I wouldn't find myself with a bitter aftertaste.

Red stains my hands and counter tops, just trying to coax the sweetest part of you out.

A bowl of seeds in front of me reminds me of you-

The seeds are sweet yet soon gone, and epehemeral sweetness doesn't mask the bitterness of skin I couldn't get past, skin I couldn't peel away no matter what.
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