every night
riding home
I see a bright light
on the hill
near the park
where we used
to waste our days
I'm reminded of
your crystal eyes
shining alone
in an empty sea
of darkness
it makes me want
to vanish
into the nothing
from which we came
every night
riding home
I see a bright light
on the hill
near my heart
and I'm completely spent
the moment it
appears

instead of saying
do
instead of judging
help
instead of worrying
be
instead of hating
love
instead of hurting
heal
instead of taking
give
instead of crawling
FLY

how strange
the gift of contemplation
to allow the mind to wander
creating imaginary worlds
in our skulls
the ability to ponder
what meaning, if any
there is(n't)
in our fleeting days
we trivialize time
as a linear tool
by which we measure
our triumphs, losses
all the same
in the grand scheme
how strange
my arms and legs
moving, making
running in circles
to survive
but there's momentary bliss
in the recollection
of a beautiful day
with someone I loved
long ago
the clock stops
as does the pain
of existing within
such looming madness

they walk by holding hands
laughing
sometimes stopping
to steal a kiss
below the neon
of the city
and here I am
alone, watching
it would be easy to be bitter
but I'm happy for them
because I remember
how it felt
to have someone
to walk with
and it's beautiful, really
how we move in and out
of people's lives
temporary connections
can live forever
as long as we want
to remember

are we all so lost
howling at imaginary moons
such gloom
without glow
and the world goes by
from a window
are we all so trapped
in our own **** heads
no bed
like the death bed
and nothing moves as fast
as the moment
drunk instead
with electric blanket
at least I feel warmth
from something

I'm in love with
the idea of you
when you're near
I feel empty
it's better as
a daydream
in my head
you love the idea
of me

I now realize the best way to express my love for someone is to release them into the wild
free to become what they wish
encouraging them along their path
as a sister or a brother
how absurd to think
I used to want to control everything
driven by envy or fear
always blocking the light
from reaching my eyes
denying my true self
in a perpetual tailspin
with shovel in hand
digging holes for no reason
reluctant to grow
wings of my own
I now realize the best way to express my love for someone is to forgive them
even if they meant me harm
learning to love without conditions
is the sweetest release of all