Choking on words of a cancerous gut
a Valentine not meant for my yearning  
Grasp for fingers not finding my own
Bitterness, unyielding
Toiling
Mulling
Your breath, nourishing concrete bread
Hum to me through matted dirt and browning grass
Sing and ease my dying winds
Laughter, scorching sunshine
Wire webs of my own indecision
I’ve tried my best to not find nausea in your smiles, and salt in your words
Face me away  
And hum once more

Adept in the hunt, but he won’t confess
Peel back her flaws and you’ll find a sense of royalty
Perfectionists, either of the two
Different means scoping out the same prize numbering few
Never doubt her sense of causality
Indifference harbored for every casualty
Can’t understand his loosening gaze
But you’ll find yourself transfixed evermore
each day
They pry for the human experience
They prey, they prey

Her sharp painted claws tear at your flesh
His firm grip & sensual breath alleviate all stress
Never the wiser you’ll surely play into their games
But you’re nothing more than another steak to claim
Broken & blessed
You’ll be enthralled by her linen tongue
Confused & transfixed
His hands can surely do no wrong
But those marks of love traced through your porcelain skin
Stand nothing to reason once you’re spellcast their kin

Still faced & well mannered
Carried so humbly
menacing outlier
Rancid typically

Don’t go away
I’ve got something to say
Don’t go away
I’ve got nothing to say

Festering inside
far too long overdue
A magicians hat
riddled with gruesome clues
Who can attest to what, how, and when
How am I to know what rebuilds or breaks a man

Don’t go away
You’re not worth the chase
Don’t go, don’t stay
Either way’s a mistake

Padded walls thump inside a skull
Sedative, a home
so empty, so full
Eyes fixed still
Thoughts that never part lips
Overwhelming
internalized
worthlessness

Taken away
Never again see my face
Walking, astray
Not breaking pace

Primrose, ***** poppy, amaryllis ferrari red
Burgundy velvet-lined eternal bed
Lounging where no sound can caress my face
Freedom, untethered, not leaving a trace

Breaks from solitude pollute my mind
Nothing I am is irreplaceable
Complacency is irredeemable
I’ll humor my imagination
Daydream as I please to find meaning in passion and the passionless
But never will I compromise
Never will I trust

From within chattering walls
A silent evil’s enthralled
Howling heard without ears
Nails grind through plaster halls
A beast begins to maul
On to all fours it swiftly falls

Chanting hyms of black
An alter’s filled & stacked
Offerings of wine & knit lilac
Piercing eyes so blue
Thick matted fur in view
This thing so hellish breathes anew

Robes turn to bow & kneel
It snarls & digs its heel
strides of elegancy, its snout so tightly peeled
It gestures with a blur
For this binding of the cursed
“You’ve done well my children, now set upon the herd”

Rising sun bakes morning dew
as grass claws up grasping for salvation
Geese take flight through morning breeze
as clouds dance their final steps to oblivion
So too is my life but a fleeting euphoria
Burning & racing to make haste with ticking time
Come sunset my hourglass will trickle to but a single grain
and my soul will be free of its sunburnt waltz
While the sun turns evermore teasing the earth, my heart will be rekindled
And come sunrise tomorrow
Or the next day
Or the next week
Or the next year
So too will my love for the youthful hours of daybreak to dusk
But for now I relinquish my passion for warmth
And embrace the night in my hurrisome steps
For as the grass slumbers, and the clouds part, it’ll be my heart bleeding in tempo with the rhythm of the dark
And when my heart bleeds dry, and my soul no longer yearns
It’ll be I who joins the earth in its praise of the sun
Once more happy
Once more whole
My sun will rise again, but for now I dance through the night

Movement, so illogical
Second to his nature
Second to none
Iris crosshairs plant
Blending like a chameleon
Nails bleed callused palms
The hunt he treats as a bride

Cunning like a snipe
Hands as gentle as satin lace
Teeth locked as if pikes
Chiseled, pearled, void of grace
ashen soot he breathes
Tail so cocked
It’s immaculate
This creature of drowning freight
Nails bleed callused palms
Stomping anticipation
Black billowing lungs so cold
The hunt he treats as a bride

This Saturn spawn
Something of an old One
It flickers, taking wicked flight
To a sickening feast
Not mammalian
Not human
Escapes all corporeality
Beauty, so nauseating
He’s immaculate
This creature of drowning freight
Nails bleed callused palms
Stomping anticipation
Black billowing lungs so cold
The hunt he treats as a bride

A phantom sits at the edge of my bed, greeting me every morning
whispering to me as I sleep
The words they hum, contrived, their meaning escapes me
Yet I know, and I feel, and I see, and I taste their meaning; their bitterness
You haunt me
You haunt without repose
You haunt without reason
The soul we once created through the meshing of our hearts had flickered away long ago, as if a burnt out Jin
Yet here you impose upon me what’s long past
You sing me songs and tell me stories of a time I can no longer comprehend
And your words, as a saw blade, grind through me, turning my bedroom into little more than a tree mill
This torture, ceaseless
I toss and turn, but your voice does not escape the echo chamber of my head
Our love was a burden
Your love was a burden

My vision flushed in a sea of endless gray
A flame flickering
It battles decay
Like a corpse
Still & calm
Night, never day

Vases of wine
Cellularly monotone grace
Hughes of red and gold
rotting away
Lavender fields where I rest my bones
But my vision stays flushed in a sea of endless
gray

Voices echo within crowds that I stay
Ensnared in love, their smiles mock me today
Amongst all this passion I rejoice where I lay
Untouched by threats present in love lenders’ pay
Sunken and complete beneath a sea of endless gray
My vision forever flushed in a
sea of endless gray

My love, you’ve opened yourself
to freedom from a dance you never wished to start
My heart, my bride, with unfathomable pride
we part here now, but our lathe will turn again

you’ll be sent out to sea
Or maybe to the clouds
Among the stars we shall dance
When our hands meet below six cellars
You cannot be bound
by five senses, nor the ground
You cannot be tamed
by disease or earthly sway

In time we will have climbed the same
Staircase to the above
In time we shall embrace
Atop the same starface, so divine
And we’ll never once again know
What it means to be cold
And we’ll never once again be
without our love to be seen
We’ll never part again when I find my blessing once more in the hereafter

My dear, Goodbye

Goodbye

My love, Goodnight

Goodnight

Why do you taste like sweetened soil
How does it hurt
Why does it please me
Why do you wring my wretched soul
I come undone
I come undone
Know not what to do
As I taste wretched soil
You stave off decay
Heart pummeling brain
How do you sleep
Not nuzzled between
My pruned & wretched soul
and my arms wide for you
Choices made for higher thought
Now grit my chest anew
I did right by me
I did right by morality and you
So why does it haunt my head
Why do I wring my wretched soul
Why do you taste like sweetened soil
Why do I long, why do I long