Everyday
Is a reminder of why I wanted to end it all
Everyday
Is a reflection of what I've become

I guess it's normal to feel that way
Normal to feel tired
And helpless
And horrible

It's hard to talk about this
When I've tried once
And twice
And almost thrice

Faces of frowns
Faces of disgust
Faces of despair
Will stare back at me.

Call me selfish
Call me a disappointment
Say, "What about me?"

It's kinda funny
How people tell me not to **** myself
By using themselves as the reason
When all I need is for them to hear my reason

Well, I guess that's why
Why I want to end it all
Why I want to stop everything
Because that's probably the best

This sounds wordy
I should shut my mouth
And find reasons why
"Life is beautiful"

Notice me
Acknowledge my existence
Talk to me
Please

Your soft black hair
Your beautiful brown eyes
Your bold and loyal smile
Your gentle and loving words

I know
I never deserve to be with you
Never deserve to talk to you
Never deserve to be in your life

Yet,
You’ve got me around your fingers
You’ve got my heart tangled in your words
You’ve got my mind hypnotise by your smile

So many ‘i want you’s i want to say
So many ‘i need you’s i want to say
So many ‘i love you’s i want to say

Yet,
I stumble when i see you
I crumble when i talk to you
I mumble when i admire you

I want you
I need you
I crave you
I love you

The crowds cheer
As their Queens rose
Queens who have met on the same ground,
And throw their mortarboards in conjunction.

The first Queen
Bright and creative
In this small campus
Always ready to speak her thoughts

Yet, she was cornered
By big and scary obstacles that seemed to pick on her
They took her joy and hands
And pushed her through the rough surfaces of paper

The second queen
Witty and quiet
In this small campus
Her books always opened with knowledge

Yet, the weight of others
made her heavy like a raincloud
A grey cloud filled with water
Not able to let itself pour

The Third Queen
Calculative and patient
In this small campus
Her skills exceed those of the lads

Yet, her different ways of thinking
Becomes her foe
With its flames burning her skin
She can never put them out

The Fourth Queen,
Active and selfless
In this small campus
Her boldness appears 

Yet, her vision of friends
Drifting away
Because she cannot fit in
Crumples her into her shell

The Fifth Queen
Royal and grace
In this small campus
Her steps grows a garden of golden flowers

Yet, she faces the ugly truth 
A mirror that reflects
She sees hundreds of lies
Of her beautiful face

The five of them
Having them back to back
Realised that they have each other
To fall on 

Now, they have grown
Into a black and white star,
Into a white and fluffy cloud
Into a black and orange mask
Into a blue and pink diamond
Into a blue and white cat

Now they rule
A land with drawings coming to life
A land that ideas run far and free
A land that cats could jump and live in bliss

The Queens of Cats
A symbol worth remembering
Throw at us what you want
Because we have experienced it all!

Family.
People whom you trust
Where one thought were your closest
Where one thought were blood

That trust,
Crushed before your eyes
And thrown into your face
Like shattered glass

You then find friends
Where one thought you would be with
Where one thought you could share with
Where one thought you should commit in

After all,
Your love for them is wider than you love yourself.
You love them more than anyone
You love them more than anything

You would do anything for them
Help them
Save them
And even more

Yet reality hits you
That they have their own family to love
While you don’t
And there is nothing you can do about it.

You know you’re wrong
That you’re being selfish
That you’re being clingy
That you’re being annoying

They must be tired by now
They must be.
Otherwise why would they switch topics,
When you’re drowning in your tears?

You may be overthinking
You may be overreacting
You may be overwhelmed
But you don’t care

Love
Affection
Assurance
That’s what you’re asking for

You ask them
But you hang on a threat
You ask them
But you met dry words

Anything, right?
You would do anything
To make them your family
To make them your universe

Then let go
That’s the harshest part, i know
But you will have your family with them
By letting go

Oh what i would give
To open my mouth
Let my vocals take control
And my brain to relax

Oh what i would give
To lay in a cloud’s lap
Clench my fingertips into its soft flesh
And let my tongue be muffled by its gentleness

I’d let the water do its job
Blur my eyes as they roll down my pupils
Piling in front of my eyeballs
And getting the sockets moist and stung

I’d let my heart run
Run until it stops
Run until it hits
Run until it hurts

I’d let my fist work
Work on the red
Work on the flesh
Work on the heart

I’d let my mouth spill
Spill its tales
Spill its secrets
Spill its problems

And yet
At the end of the day,
No one would care
No one would see

Everyone will look
Everyone will assume
Everyone will judge
Everyone will talk

It’s not good
Yet i can’t control
Yet i can’t stop
Yet i can’t see eye to eye

Her laughter and smile still taunts me
So warm and bright
I still hear her footsteps, wanting to flee
Trying to flee, into the broad of daylight.

I sometimes think i see her, still there
I can’t tell if it’s a reflection with red
Because if i glare,
I remember that i’m staring at imperfection with dread.

“It’s alright, i’ll come back soon”
She would say with a warm smile.
I don’t believe her, it was already June
Come back, it has been a while.

“You’ll see me, but i can’t promise i will be okay.”
Those were her promises that she made before going towards the light
I pray and pray
But she didn’t give a sign of life.

Pure red, like a healthy child has
It flows with a breath and nutrients
But with a flash
Her flow breaks out of its placement

“Words can pierce through a heart” they say
How many people listen to that?
They’d still do it anyway,
Despite the thick consequences that will pour

Stupid! Stupid little thing! Useless and good for nothing!
Sounds like a broken radio, doesn’t it?
Oh how so easy these spells slip out
Hanging the self confidence one -could- have

Jokes, jokes, i said it as a joke!
Sorry, sorry, i said it in anger!
No worries, i’d forgive you again and again
Again and again and again

Till the time comes
Where the hot droplets blur the sight
And where the mind’s health shuts
And where the words make their way through the stringy vessels

It would be too late
Until the spell has been lifted
Off your eyes
Off your mind

And most importantly,
Off where the poor latter had jumped