Family.
People whom you trust
Where one thought were your closest
Where one thought were blood

That trust,
Crushed before your eyes
And thrown into your face
Like shattered glass

You then find friends
Where one thought you would be with
Where one thought you could share with
Where one thought you should commit in

After all,
Your love for them is wider than you love yourself.
You love them more than anyone
You love them more than anything

You would do anything for them
Help them
Save them
And even more

Yet reality hits you
That they have their own family to love
While you don’t
And there is nothing you can do about it.

You know you’re wrong
That you’re being selfish
That you’re being clingy
That you’re being annoying

They must be tired by now
They must be.
Otherwise why would they switch topics,
When you’re drowning in your tears?

You may be overthinking
You may be overreacting
You may be overwhelmed
But you don’t care

Love
Affection
Assurance
That’s what you’re asking for

You ask them
But you hang on a threat
You ask them
But you met dry words

Anything, right?
You would do anything
To make them your family
To make them your universe

Then let go
That’s the harshest part, i know
But you will have your family with them
By letting go

Oh what i would give
To open my mouth
Let my vocals take control
And my brain to relax

Oh what i would give
To lay in a cloud’s lap
Clench my fingertips into its soft flesh
And let my tongue be muffled by its gentleness

I’d let the water do its job
Blur my eyes as they roll down my pupils
Piling in front of my eyeballs
And getting the sockets moist and stung

I’d let my heart run
Run until it stops
Run until it hits
Run until it hurts

I’d let my fist work
Work on the red
Work on the flesh
Work on the heart

I’d let my mouth spill
Spill its tales
Spill its secrets
Spill its problems

And yet
At the end of the day,
No one would care
No one would see

Everyone will look
Everyone will assume
Everyone will judge
Everyone will talk

It’s not good
Yet i can’t control
Yet i can’t stop
Yet i can’t see eye to eye

Her laughter and smile still taunts me
So warm and bright
I still hear her footsteps, wanting to flee
Trying to flee, into the broad of daylight.

I sometimes think i see her, still there
I can’t tell if it’s a reflection with red
Because if i glare,
I remember that i’m staring at imperfection with dread.

“It’s alright, i’ll come back soon”
She would say with a warm smile.
I don’t believe her, it was already June
Come back, it has been a while.

“You’ll see me, but i can’t promise i will be okay.”
Those were her promises that she made before going towards the light
I pray and pray
But she didn’t give a sign of life.

Pure red, like a healthy child has
It flows with a breath and nutrients
But with a flash
Her flow breaks out of its placement

“Words can pierce through a heart” they say
How many people listen to that?
They’d still do it anyway,
Despite the thick consequences that will pour

Stupid! Stupid little thing! Useless and good for nothing!
Sounds like a broken radio, doesn’t it?
Oh how so easy these spells slip out
Hanging the self confidence one -could- have

Jokes, jokes, i said it as a joke!
Sorry, sorry, i said it in anger!
No worries, i’d forgive you again and again
Again and again and again

Till the time comes
Where the hot droplets blur the sight
And where the mind’s health shuts
And where the words make their way through the stringy vessels

It would be too late
Until the spell has been lifted
Off your eyes
Off your mind

And most importantly,
Off where the poor latter had jumped