Walking down the street, grabbed by the hips and pulled into the feeling of something she wasn’t wanting pushed up against her…
Grabbing her and turning her cries of NO into the soft sweet whispers of YES…
The only thing rushing through her mind was the thought of the child that comes after, will he grow to be just as harsh and wrong as the man who forced the words daddy from her lips… or will she be just as fearful of men as her mother is…
How could she force herself to love something that even involved him?
How could she make herself carry it for those 9 painful months, knowing it’s a monsters...
Was the entry forced upon her worth the struggles she now has to go through? Was his need for pleasure so great that her life thoughts and goals were not thought of??
Not knowing his name until three days later sitting in the hospital bed, finding out his name through the DNA forced inside of her…
The tear stains still stung into her cheeks, the screams still piercing through her mind and ears…
Her family still scared of the night their child ran through the front door and crashed on the floor screaming, her ear piercing scream left a hole in all their hearts… but mostly hers…
Scared of the *** that could have been passed to her, scared of the torture that men will only see her as a toy and that she will never actually trust them…
Trust gone as soon as her pants left her hips, the word yes now takes a moment before it slips of her lips...
Tears don’t fall as often because walls have been built, emotions now hardened into harsh thoughts, guys now looked at like devils coming to attack her at any moment…
The pain of her trying to push, making her weak… losing the strength one twist or push at a time… squirming under his grasp…
Strong hands pinning her down making her unable to breath let alone move, still she screams…
Even though her voice can't go any louder, it sounds like no one can hear a single word, and if they can their too busy to care about one girls life…
*****, ****… words that scare her, words that now claim here even though it wasn’t her fault… words that now haunt her, ringing through her head day in and day out…
Her nights now filled with haunted memories, her nights now filled with whispered cries, her nights now end in pain…
The sad part…
That girl now wishes she was dead.

When I was just 2 years old my parents pushed each other to the point of breaking,
My house hold was a war zone for at least 5 years… no happy smiles and no giggling after dark
I sat in my room dreaming about what it would have been like if I was the lawyer that ruined my life…
If I could have let this little girls life fall apart right in front of her.
If I could have been the one to say yes to her parents leaving her in a room for longer than should be accepted.
If I could have just sat there looking at her crying mother and done nothing
…
Now im 15, im older… its whatever now
I guess im used to seeing my mom cry and my dad yell for no reason
I guess ive adapted to not having a perfect life like all my so called “friends” do
Sometimes I wonder how that lawyers life was affected like mine was 13 years later
I guess little girls crying every night isn’t a big enough trigger warning…
…
17, I still lay down and think how heartless you must be
You’ve made me wonder, what if its my fault….
What if they didn’t want me, what if I was the one to cause the fights?
No that cant be I was just a child, you said they loved me…
…
I turned 25 today,
I guess I forgive you, you were just doing your job…
And I cant hold you accountable for the pain i've felt for the last 23 years.
I cant blame you for having my life crumble beneath my feet,
I cant tell you how much im sorry for screaming, how sorry I am for sheading all of those tears…
And how sorry I am to tell you that my life line is in your hands…
…
Im going be turning 26 in less than five months!
Guess that means a new begginning, new life for me, but trust me your not getting involved in this one