Meadow

Meadow Apr 2018

“Curiosity killed the cat” they say
But do they mean pursuing it’s curiosity
Lead to an unfortunate end?
Or was it the living without knowing
Spending day after day
Trying to go crack a case
About what had once intrigued them
But had now become addiction
That caused the cat to have a slow, painful death?

I’ve decided to change my profile, because I am now writing under a pen name for personal reasons :)

Meadow Apr 2018

Let Go

I thought I needed you
So I fought for you
I've always be fighting for things
That I would later learn
I shouldn't have to fight for

I would cling to this idea
That nothing had to change
I would cling to you

And think I was trying to get a grip
When really I was just grasping at air

Now I'm done grasping
I'm done clinging
And I'm done fighting

It's time I finally learn
How to let go things
That let me go
Long before

Meadow Mar 2018

Joined at the Ledge

I stood on the ledge for what felt like forever
You stood next to me
You said we were in this together
As you held my hand
For it was only a matter of time
Before the wind would blow us over

What good did joining me do for either of us
Because eventually we were both knocked down
And when you are falling from from thirty stories up
It is pointless to cushion the fall
So why did you join me...

When you could have just pulled me away from the ledge?

Meadow Mar 2018

Outcomes

I was scared to love you
Because I know this ends
One of two ways

Outcome 1:
We try,
And we crash and burn
And everyone around us is stuck
Cleaning up the ashes
As it becomes hard
To simply look you in the eye

Outcome 2:
Which is far less likely
We are a perfect match
And live in a world of bliss
For two years...

And then you leave
Not because you want to
But because that's where you are in life
And I would be left behind

Both hearts would break
But you would be going on to bigger things
And I'd be trapped for another two years

So I created outcome 3
Where nothing changes
Because in outcomes 1 and 2
I lose you

But what I neglected to realize
Is that in outcome 3
You will still leave
And I will still miss you

In this outcome
I just didn't have the guts
To say yes to something
That could have been beautiful

And now when you leave
I won't be left with a broken heart
But I will be left
With the "what if"

Meadow Mar 2018

Nightlife

At 2am
I am wide awake
While the rest of the world sleeps
The light is on in my room
But the only light outside
Is the stars

It is at this time
That I feel truly isolated
As if I am the sole remaining person
On this earth

As if I could walk for miles
And not find another living soul
Despite people sleeping
Just down the hall

To others it may be
the middle of the night
To me
It’s the middle of the day

Living on a schedule
That is not synced with the world
I might as well be
Alone on this earth
Because at 2am
No one is there to comfort you
No one will answer your call
Because they are lost in their dream
While you are still trapped in reality

Oh how I wish I could sleep

Meadow Mar 2018

You’ll be Ok

If there’s one thing I’ve learned
Its that things have a funny way of working out
No matter how bad things get
You end up ok in the end

It may not be what you planned
Or even remotely close to it
But it will be good

It will be a battle
You will face intense challenge
In whatever form life decides you need
But it shapes you
And ultimately brings you
To your endgame

And the endgame will be beautiful
Because the world knows exactly what it’s doing
When it throughs you those curve *****
And gives you the life deserve
Based on how you react

And ultimately, you will be happy
As long as you allow yourself to be

Meadow Mar 2018

I Am Not...

I think writing is all I can do
People try to tell me
That I’m “one of those people”
Who is good at everything they try

But that is simply not true
Trust me I am no prodigy
I am just another kid
Trying to feel secure in the fact
That she is not what people
Hype her up to be

For everything else I do
I may be passable
But I am short of anything special

I try to be a role model
And portray someone who is confident
In there ability to be successful
Beyond the confines of this town

Though reality is
Writing is all I have
And in that I am far from alone

So please
Do not put me on a pedestal
For I am not a genius
Who has all your test answers

Nor am I the athelete
Who becomes a local legend

I am not the star performer
When you see me on stage
I am just someone who tries
And gets broken down everyday

My only power is my words
When I put a pen on the page
And this words are my only chance
To be someone some day

And that leaves my chances slim
For my power is not unique
I just hope some day I can prove
You need not be a prodigy