I’m drowning in a empty room filled with potential and words I wanted to hear even though I’ve heard everything you really said fooled by my own insecurities pinned down by the validation I crave from the person you could be

My heart aches knowing I am more than  what he gives me
Knowing he does not define my worth
Even as the pain creeps into my veins slowly erasing the love I so longed for
I marvel on how one can destroy everything with “I Don’t Know”

There’s a seal in your mind that I thought would open up in time
Instead it locks me out of a place where true love lives and it is clear it will never be mine
Many have tried to no avail rather lead on a trial of ups and downs the path of almost so close
Please let me get close
How can you hind all aspects of the life we were meant to share it doesn't seem fair
I care! I care! I care!
The only time I can see it in those eyes is when you unburden my thighs were passion and connection go to meet up
What if that isn’t enough and I need more to withstand the art of loving you
I’m drifting away
I’ve done everything to stay
Why can’t you say
Something
Anything

Happiness is only one thought away
Yet it feels like I am miles and miles from that day
The day I no longer wage war against my own mind and build a spine
Stand up to the fear of the unknown and walk it alone
Step over the thin line that says I am OK

Does it matter that I look to you for that feeling only a true love can give
Does it matter that each time you turn away a piece of me breaks revealing a new person growing underneath the scares you leave
Does it matter that I am terrified one day I will wake up and the love is gone
Does it even really matter..?

Still, water can appear so calm, inviting, and safe, yet it’s stagnant, full of bacteria, and parasites waiting to get hold of you; in the midst of your hope for a beautiful experience.

It takes you into its embrace, adapts to your rhythm, and allows you to let your guard down. Everyone loves the water, after all, it always appears the way it should, steady, reliable, and clean.

It’s only when those who spend time in this water realize later that it’s too late, and they have been infected, and the parasites have settled in, that they become sick.

You now know that the water was never as it appeared, and no one will blame the water. There's no consequence for the damage it caused, and the only thing left to do is focus on getting better and think before you jump in the next time.