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391 · Oct 2018
Dreaming from Memory
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
We're still together in my dreams.
In memories, you shared with me.
The time we walked across the sand,
On the reef, hand-in-hand.
The cool night breeze, the island air.
The smell of your sun-kissed hair.
The way my heart beat in my chest.
The first time you wore that dress.
I never felt like I got to tell you.
You're the reason why I love you.

This time it feels like it could last,
The love we shared in our past.
I kiss your lips, knowing I cant stay.
It's time to start another day.
No need for sadness or for sorrow,
I'll see you again this time tomorrow.
343 · Oct 2018
Drifting on Insominia Seas
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
It's that time again; when I lay here in the dark.
Staring at where you used to stay, beside me all night long.
Confusion makes it hard to sleep, when your brain is wrought with pain and grief.
Insomnia's an arduous mistress, when your not filled with sorrow.
I close my eyes again tonight, to be back here again tomorrow.
3am thoughts written with 4am hands
335 · Oct 2018
Purgatory
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
The empty space I'm seated, is the place inside my heart. The one where I can be alone, when I've been broke apart.
There used to be more love here but now it's empty here inside. The time we used to share here, where our bodies would reside.
Is now just another place, for my despair to dwell. The place I get to call my home, the place I can call hell.
248 · Oct 2018
My Friend
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
I've been seeing more of you these days.
You're always just out of sight.
You've been there though, most every night.
I've seen you before whenever I'm down.
You always seem to be just hanging around.
You hide in the dark, your face an enigma.
Not scary at all, like that negative stigma.
You'll be my friend, until my last breath.
The closest of friends, the friend I call "Death".
228 · Oct 2018
Insanity Is?
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
Change the past and be new again.
To live a life with you again.
Caress your skin with lips emblazoned.
Praise your temple; sins forgiven
Child born; from our passion.
Hold you close in loving fashion.
Feel your distance; looming dread.
Again I get to hang my head.
See the fracture; wave goodbye.
Again I feel like I should die.
Wake from nightmare; soaked in sweat.
Feeling it's not over yet.
You're still gone; growing sadness.
Welcome to eternal madness.
153 · Oct 2018
The light
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
You came into my life, when it was a dark and scary place.
And when it collapsed around me, caught adrift between the space.
There a light was shining, that became my saving grace.
A star that shined my way back home, from death's empty, cold embrace.
The light became my life, the thing I loved to chase.
That light is now a memory of the time I first saw your face.
144 · Oct 2018
Words
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
Shaking hands and broken heart.
Don't fail me now, when I begin to start.
I cry out loud for you to hear, the words, only spoke to you my dear.
The door is closed now, and you are gone.
My words now lost, a forgotten song.
So much to do, there's still love left.
As long this heart beats in my chest.
128 · Oct 2018
Alone with the Rain
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
It's going to rain all day, and this dreary weather's weighing on my head.
Don't know what it was, that made me get out of this bed.
Now I can't let this feeling go, and I'd like to  let you know.
That this rain, doesnt come from the sky.
It falls on my heart, and flows from my eyes.
Inspired by the weather and loss.
104 · Oct 2018
Death
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
Tragedy struck in its own way,
When I lost my will to live today.
Hollow and empty a pale, body shell,
So frail and so lifeless, not looking so well.
My words are fledgling, and often unnoticed.
A ghost in the corner, nobody will miss.
I'm sorry my love, my time is fleeting.
You didn't notice my heart had stopped beating.
101 · Oct 2018
Seasonal Depression
Matthew O'Dowd Oct 2018
The cyclic feeling is overwhelming,
Hurting those who've tried to love me.
Regrets unsaid and things I've done,
Make me what I have become.
Vicious tongue and shortened temper,
Is preparing sadness for this winter.
93 · Nov 2018
Confetti
Matthew O'Dowd Nov 2018
My head hurts today, much in like my chest does most days.
The sun has hid away, just like all that's left of my will.
Alone, a somber feeling, an empty space. Where the thoughts become clearer.
Like a fake smile on my face.
A facade I live, I'm fine. Dont worry about me, I'm happy.
Reality is being emotionally crippled, head wandering, browsing memories.
Desperately wishing for them to be scattered like confetti across the room.
They dont, and I'm left writing another poem.
44 · Jan 2020
Broken Memories
Matthew O'Dowd Jan 2020
I've longed for your touch the taste of your kiss.
The spark in my heart and eternal bliss.
The day that you left me, the day I would miss.
To change the things that I cannot forget.
The pain I gave your heart and mind,
Is something I carry so you can be fine.
So many things I'd tell you my dear,
But the silence back is something I fear.
I saw the life that I could've had, the one where we'd wed and never be sad.
But you're gone now and wont answer my calls.
The time is coming another year of,
The time I fell for you my love.
Alone and afraid to go outside,
to see those thing that will remind.
Of times together your hand in mine...
to have that again to truly be fine.

— The End —