I'm not seeing any light
I don't feel like this fight
This dark cave is filling with water
I'm drowning as it approaches my mouth
It fills my lungs
I'm helpless now
I panic
I'm making it worse
I'm choking
This is my end
My eyes are heavy
I want to close them
This is my life
This is my last breath
I'm at my end
So this is why you didn't send me anyone?
You knew I ****** at love
You knew I would do this
God are you there?
Is there a god?
Is he waiting for me?
Or is this the devil?
Is he waiting for me?
I don't know
But you're waiting for me
I want to come to you
But I'm drowning in this dark cave
I see you in my mind
My memories
I wish you were here now
But you're not
And I'm drowning
I'm letting my body sink to the bottom
I smile thinking about you
I let my last breath go
I held on so long
For you
I did everything for you
And I still failed
I'm lying here breathless in this dark cave

The wind is blowing
The storm is coming
The clouds are brewing
The sky is getting dark
Though it is not thundering I can already hear the loud boom
I know this storm is coming
It will rain
It will pour
Lightning will strike
The thunder will roar
And I'll have no where to run
The ground will flood and I will drown
I know this storm all too well
I'm scared
I'm terrified
I know this storm

When I tried to swim I sank
When I stayed out of the water I couldn't walk
When I fell to my knees I couldn't crawl
I lay on the floor and it finds me
I hear the world still moving around me
I can't move
I lay still unmoving for when I get up I fall
When I swim I sink
but even when I do nothing it still finds me

Why do I do it?
Why do I stay?
Why do I always push my loved ones away?
Why does my mind always play games?
Why does my mind work this way?
Crying during the night because I was mean in the day
I will never be normal
I'll never be sane
I'll never stop pushing them away
I'll never stop these tears that highlight my pain
All this pain that I gained
All this pain that I earned
All this pain I deserve
I **** at being nice
I **** at being with people all the time
Sometimes I just want to be alone
And yet that's always wrong
Everything I do feels wrong
I can't be good to myself or others
And it makes me think
Why the hell do I stay?
Why do I get up every morning?
Why do I cry every night?
Why can't my life ever just be a constant shining light?
I'm no good to people they're better when I'm not around
But I can't bring myself to do it
I don't want to wake up in the mornings or cry at the nights
But I don't want to miss the days where I smile and everything is fine
I don't want to miss the days where I'm truly happy
And yet sometimes they're so far away that I don't know why I stay
In a life so dark and gloomy with occasional sun, why do I stay?
When no one is helping me push away the pain
I want it to end
I want my mind to stop
I don't understand why I'm not enough
I don't understand why I'm so broken
I don't understand why my mind is out to get me
I don't understand why I stay?
Why do I do this to myself everyday?
Maybe some part of me enjoys the pain
Maybe I ask for it
I'm a terrible person
Or maybe I'm not
It's not clear
My mind is telling me one thing and my heart tells me another
I'm confused
I hate this weather
Why do I stick out all the days in the rain just to have one perfect day?
That's just my life I guess
In one big lump sum
The pathetic loser just trying to be someone
Maybe I stick around because even when at my lowest there's still a glimmer of hope
Something telling me to keep going
That one day it won't hurt some much
That one day I'll be okay
That the future I pray upon will come true one day
Until then I guess I just hold on tightly to this life I have
Try to be better to the people who stay
Try to push the darkness away
Try my hardest to just be great
Maybe that's why I stay

I don't know what their names are
They won't tell me
But they are far from strangers
They sit with me when I think I'm all alone
They say we're friends but I'm not sure that we are
They tell me not to fear death
They tell me death is a part of life
They tell me to embrace death
I listen to them
They seem to be the only ones who care about me
They told me everyone else is lying to me
They remind me that they have been here since I was a kid
They remind me how well they know me
They tell me no one knows me better than they do
They tell me to hide away and push all the liars away
When I don't listen I get punished
When I don't listen they make me hurt myself
They are not my friends
They are far from my friends
They make me so scared
I don't want to die
I don't want to listen to them
I want to listen to the people they call liars
They're not liars
They love me
They know me
They're here for me
They help me
I'm fighting the demons
They keep pushing me down
I have to become stronger than they are
I have to learn to push back
I have to defeat these demons
They are plotting my death
I'm plotting my survival
**** the demons
I'm better than that
I'm smarter than that
The demons are not strangers
They're not friends
They're enemies
I have to fight these demons
I'm fighting these demons

All I feel is pain
It won't go away
Try and numb my brain
Tell me to die but I just keep going
All I do is cry but I gotta keep going
All this pain inside won't go away
I keep hoping it'll go away
I'm going through it
My head is a battlefield
Sometimes I surrender
I don't have time to fight back
All that energy I had
It's all gone
All I feel is pain
It won't go away
Try and numb my brain
Nothing helps
I just want to be alone
I don't want to be alone
This pain keeps building
I'm dying
I'm suffering
Take me away
Numb this pain
Sick and tired of crying
So hard to keep lying
Hang my head low
I keep saying I'm fine
Don't worry about me
I'm fine
I'm lying
Don't lose me
I'm trying
All I feel is pain
It won't go away
Try and numb my brain
The pain is here to stay

I close my eyes to hide from the pain
I go to sleep and hope I don't dream
I try to escape this agonizing life
I try to hide from the tears
I try to run away from myself
I wish I could hide from the girl in the mirror
She brings me more pain then I can bear
I wish I could run away from her
May she never hurt me again
I close my eyes and hope I die
I close my eyes and wish I'll wake up as someone else
I close my eyes and wish it all away
I wish the pain to leave
I'm closing my eyes
I'm wishing and praying
Take the pain away
Let me see the light
Let me die tonight
Let me see tomorrow as someone else
I hate the darkness when I close my eyes
But I love the way I can hide
I can hide from the pain
I can hide from the agony
I can hide from the loneliness
So I close my eyes and pray for no nightmares
I just want to escape
Let it be peaceful
Let me hide away