You were my entire book.
Binded in sweet sun-kissed leather,
every page, all 913 days, made my heart skip.
Even if I never even left a chapter
in your table of contents in life.
My Chapter One-
Mini golf and Rocky Road Ice cream on the tip of your nose.
Walking in the sand along the immensity of the world.
Wine and chemistry kept us warm and fuzzy
like the socks hospitals give the ill.
The moon guided us to turn the page.
Chapter Three-
Lust bonded our heards
by the quilt of the heavens
blanketing the dirt road lit up by the constellations.
Each fabric square a new dream for the future,
Libraries and Burgundy kitchens.
You kissed my third eye,
paralyzing me to the rhythm of your soul.
Chapter Five-
“I love you”
You whispered in my ear
to the background of Gary Allan's “Your Man”.
Swaying with the crowd,
Budweiser flowing through our veins,
I let the world shut down.
Fast forward: Chapter Twelve-
“Marry me?”
You knelt down and asked
Holding the little black box as if you held the Universe in your palm.
“You’re my blessing”,
floated in thick smog in my head.
I loved you with all 206 bones in my body.
Every muscle tingled towards “Yes”
but nothing came out.
Eighteen is too young to say forever.
Chapter Fifteen-
Broke me, stomped on my heart, stabbed me to nothing.
“It didn’t mean anything”, “I’m sorry”, “Forgive me”,
vomited from your lying lips.
Eighteen years of collaboration.
Eighteen years of sharing.
Eighteen years of providing.
A lifetime bond formed in a tiny vessel.
Yet forgiveness masked my crumbling heart.
Chapter Seventeen-
Broken in between the pages of sorrow,
navigating on the false love squeezing me dry.
You became obsessive, overprotective, overly guilty.
Blue and red lights lite up that night like something from a sad movie.
Never meant to contain this content, wish it could be unprinted.
Jail- Jobless- Homeless, Sticking around gave me paper cuts.
But the wounds were never enough to shut the book.
Chapter Nineteen-
Addiction.
Abuse.
Infidelity.
Each page screamed “Help!”
But the words hide between the lines of your lies.
Chapter Thirty-
Became the final chapter of us,
I had to say “The end”
Goodbye was hard but so was continuing this destructive nightmare.
The final pages are not regret
but understanding and forgiveness.
Acceptance in the ending,
preparation for a new book,
one without you painting the pages.
The final chapter closed the door of forever for us,
But always a memory of Once Upon A Time.