The walls around you have always been sky high
And covered with thorns, making me afraid to try
To break them down, for when I even inch near
The blood on my hands forces me back in fear.
Fear--not of your walls, but what lies within
Or rather, what does not lie within
For should I find the inside cold, empty, bleak
How much more painfully will I bleed!

But I see through the cracks on the walls you built so well
And though I can't quite find the words to tell
You just how much I love what I see
These tiny flashes--dashes--of a soul so sweet
Of a wounded heart that deserves so much love
Of a brilliant mind that thinks so far above
What others may take immense pride in.
For this, the wall won't break my heart--only my skin.

But all I can see are these elusive cracks
So rare and few, I find myself holding back
Wondering if they're there at all
Or if I dreamed them, hope to cushion my fall
For I've fallen for you, this I can't deny.
Fallen hard enough I may be blind enough to lie
To myself, to convince myself to have faith in you.
For faith is belief without any reason to.

Happy birthday, my love, eighteen today
But I still remember, like it was yesterday
The child with the antics and golden laughter
The swaggering confidence only came after
Back then, I looked at you oh so fondly
Your eyes full of the sweetest uncertainty
Your smiles captured just about every heart
Too easily to realize how fragile they are.
No matter how much you grow, how far you go
You'll always be the only love that I know.
And no matter how many times we say goodbye
I'd go through hell to come back by your side.
I know there's nothing you can't rise above
For never was there a boy better loved.

I sweep the room with hopeful eyes, lips aching to form your name
Another year, another summer, yet this feeling is the same
I tried to forget you so many times, but now I can't deny
My head's lost the war to my heart, and I know exactly why.

As panic starts to tinge my hope, you finally come into view
And I can tell by your familiar smile that you see me too.
The tears, the pain, the promises--all gone without a trace.
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go of my embrace.

With an effort, I restrained myself, forcing my feet to walk, not run
But my hands still pulled you close, my control coming undone
I look into your laughing eyes, brush a stray curl from your cheek
For a year I'd searched futilely; now I know this was what I seeked.

A year ago I vowed to let you go, to stop living in my dreams
I thought I'd succeeded, but apparently nothing is as it seems
I've built a world without you, different from what could've been
But I'd give it all up in a second, if you were mine to love again.

Some days I feel like my heart can't quite stay in my chest
So full it chokes me
Some days I don't mind that I can't get you out of my head
Time passing so sweetly
But I never know how long this will last
Can't help but wait for the eventual crash.

You just might be what I didn't even know I need
The only one who gets me
And I want to give you the world on a silver plate
If there only was some way
I could know such a thing could be safe.  

As much as I try, my feelings are impossible to hide
But I swear, you turn a blind eye
Leaving me waiting and wondering and hoping so long
Unable to move on
Always thinking I'm reading you wrong.

Some days I almost wish I could make your heart bleed
To make sure you have one
Some days I feel you're so far away out of my reach
Chasing the shadow of someone
So I put up walls, wear armor around you
Hoping if you break my heart, its pieces cut yours too.

Met you with a broken heart
So desperate for a light, after so long in the dark
So who cares what you really are?
As long as you gave me a new start.

Thought I'd finally found the one.
Survived the storm to see the sun.
So I tried to break your walls
Learned to love all your flaws
But now, I'm just sick of it all.

Sick of wondering why you won't reply
Sick of waiting for a sign you'll never give me
Sick of being the only one who wants to try
Sick of seeing you as someone you'll never be.

I want to be the one you finally let in
But everytime I try, you disappoint me again.
If only you'd let me, I could give you everythin'
But I'm not the stupid girl from back then.

Maybe one day I'll find someone who cares
Won't leave me always worrying and scared
Won't mock me for my unrealistic dreams
Won't be so afraid to show a little feeling
Instead of dreams of love--he'll give me the real thing.

From the beginning, you were never the same
My world was falling apart, and along you came
I'd tried to reach the stars, only to grasp thin air
Refusing to accept what was simply not there.
Slowly, you put the ground back under my feet.
After falling for so long--the return to earth was sweet.

You're far from the dreams I'd chased for so long
Thought I'd grown up, stopped living for what's gone.
Thought, for once, I could love safely
Embracing rather than running from reality.
This time, I'd set out to not lose my head.
But turns out, I'm losing all of myself instead.

No sweet words or touches, no pretty little lies
Can't read anything behind those cool, dark eyes
As much as I tell myself what we have could be real
Sometimes I wonder if you even know how to feel.
While you live in my head, unlock all my doors
I doubt I even have a place in yours.

I try to put up some walls, guard my heart
Steel myself for the day this all falls apart.
Turn my back from you with a few mind games.
But when I lose, I'll have only myself to blame.
For believing you were what I deserved to find.
For letting foolish dreams again turn me blind.

Thought I'd finally left our past behind
Lost the dreams that made me lose my mind.
Clean from the drug that took over my life.
Came to terms with a final goodbye.

The world you gifted me was never real
Even if it gave me the greatest joy I'd ever feel.
I came down to earth in the hardest lesson of all
But I survived the landing after suffering the fall.

Time was the medicine that helped me move on
Losing you shattered me but made me strong.
When my heart began beating for another friend
I thought, finally, our story has reached its end.

But then you appear in my life out of the blue.
Making me smile in the way only you can do.
Taking me back to my happiest days.
But this time I know these dreams can't stay.

Before you left again, you said "I love you."
Though I don't know whether or not that's true.
When I said it back, my cheeks flamed with blood.
Wonder if I'd ever stopped--if I ever could.

Late at night, I can feel my eyes closing
But my mind's still wide awake going
A million miles an hour, spinning circles round you.
I've gotta capture this feeling before it slips away
Put it in words to make sure it's here to stay
Yeah, I'll do what I have to do.

'Cause you make me crazy, pull me through riptides
Going back and forth, baby, it's been a wild ride.
All I know is I don't know anymore.
What can't we do, as long as we have each other?
What happened to my promise to never lean on another?
But you're like no one I've met before.

You don't notice I've been watching awhile
By God, it's so beautiful when that boy smiles
And he's got a way with words that finds me.
Everyone around me will think I've gone insane.
No more dreams, I just don't want you to ever change.
When you ended my fantasies you set me free.

I won't say I love you, cause that's too intense.
Especially when loving you makes no ******* sense.
Not ready to fall, cause I'm so scared I'm wrong.
The best part of beginnings is ya can't see the end.
So go on--I'll lie and say you're just a friend
Don't make me lose the one with whom I belong.

Cut open by love, my heart's been bled dry
Said too many goodbyes, no tears left to cry
But you came along and suddenly I'm falling.
Couldn't stop those feelings from *******.

The way you control me, I must be crazy.
To love this pain, yeah, I'm going crazy.

Tried so hard to fight, but it was all a waste
Like a drug, it only takes one taste
Just one touch of sweetness, and now you own me.
Fill my head with dreams, but you're all I see.

The hope you give me, more proof I'm crazy.
Why do I see what's not there, unless I'm crazy?

While I wait to hear your voice and see your face
Thinking pain is better than the numbness it replaced
You shut me out with those walls of ice I dream of breaking.
Leaving me cold and alone, with hope to keep my heart aching.

To think we belong together, I know I'm crazy.
But I can't stop looking for a sign that I'm not crazy.

I've been chasing after illusions for too long
Holding on to a past that's so far gone
My life bleeding down the drain
Stuck in a cycle of desire and pain.

I've been trying hard to start again
Fix my life from the trainwreck that it's been
You came along just in time
Gave me some hope that things might be fine.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to really call it love.
I just know that you're the last one I'd expect to love.

I've been thinking hard these last few days
Trying to hear what my voice of reason says
I don't trust my heart.
This time I want to try to be smart.

Remember our conversations in the dark?
Can you honestly say there were no sparks?
Whenever you're by my side
Everything in the world just suddenly feels right.

I don't know if I'm brave enough to really call it love.
I just know that you're the last one I'd expect to love.

When I wore your jacket and breathed your scent
Wondering what the hell these feelings meant.
Why did your smile make me smile?
How do I know if these feelings are worthwhile?

When I'm with you there's nothing I have to hide
But you won't even let me peek your vulnerable side
How do I trust you?
How do I trust myself when I'm around you?

I don't know if I'm brave enough to really call it love.
I just know that you're the last one I'd expect to love.

It's been a while since my heart bled for you
Blood-drops as tears dripping down my cheeks
You're no longer the shadow behind everything I do
But still the sweetest of dreams I seek in my sleep.

For so many years, you were my lifeline
But letting go was the only way to set me free
The long, dark fall with no sliver of sunshine
Gave me my scars for every lovely memory.

As far as I've come, as long as I'll go
I'll love you for life and whatever comes after death
I've accepted you'll go places where I can't follow
But it'll be your eyes I see when I draw my last breath.

Loving you was how the world showed me beauty
My heartbeat grew stronger when I was by your side
What we had together was the very best part of me
You created something for me that will never die.

I can force time, distance, and willpower of mind
But my love for you will never be lost
The most valued treasure that you made mine
A dream for a different world, under a kinder God.

I've fallen fast, landed hard,
Cleaned my blood spilled.
Watched the skies for brilliant stars
Never seeing the dark.

Oh--winter nights, raining ice
When you were still just a child.
Laughing eyes, no goodbyes
The joy of a heart gone wild.

Burning heat, blinding sun
You grew to fit my world.
Touch your skin, sparks brilliance
Watch a million tales unfold.

But in the end, without the glasses
That saw everything technicolor
Back to gray, swirling masses
Seeking flashes.

Oh--winter nights, raining ice
Still thinking of you as a child.
Tearing eyes, silent goodbyes
The scars from a love too wild.

Burning heat, blinding sun
You're still everywhere in my world.
The only one, in billions
As tales and dreams unfold.

I could walk through hell and back
Blind myself to all that's past
Laugh and flirt, kiss and lie
Crush my love with every last.

But when I draw my last breath
When I have only strength to die
All I want in my mind
Is your face, the only light that's mine.

She made you a playlist with 70 songs
Talked to you on the phone all night long
She laughs and screenshots the jokes you send
Same ones that offended your other girlfriends
There's nothing quite like this sweet chemistry
That makes you say, "I've found the one for me."

Well baby, where does that leave me?
Staring straight at the truth I've refused to see.
I wouldn't hesitate to take a bullet for you
I'd stand by your side no matter what you do
I'd serve my heart to you on a silver plate
But why would you want it when you have your soul mate?

You're out of my reach and now that I know
I've got to at least decide to let you go
You were never mine from the very start
Can I cut you from my head, if not my heart?
But even as I see it's the only thing to do
I'll miss the pain of holding on to you.

I'll miss falling asleep with a smile on my face
As I think about you in your faraway place
I'll miss dreaming of an ending with you and me
Now that I know it could never be
I'll miss picking songs that remind me of you
Each bittersweet memory you've put me through

I'll miss feeling beautiful when you're by my side
Getting to shut off everyone on the outside
I'll miss the delicious agony of counting down the days
Knowing just when I'll see that smile on your face
I'll miss writing you poems and letters you'll never read
Cause there's no point giving you the love you don't need.

But the worst part of letting go of you
Is killing the hope that my deepest dreams may come true.

Spinning circles 'round a broken madness
Crimson blood-drops on endless blackness
Graceful crystal falling salty sweetness
Gentle warming, a little cleansing.

Well, I race around the circle, my pretty prison cell
Picking open scabs that could have healed so very well.
I find a knife and twist it, echo a painful cry
But brush a hand over my eyes and it'll come away dry.

I couldn't ask for more, and I can't hope for less
To crush my head and heart, I would need a painless death.
Shut me in my prison, but I've got no wrong to confess.
Except my wish to break the madness.

Drug addict, they warn me with
That ugly twist of their lips
Stay away, don't touch it
Just say no, don't breathe it
And I did, perfectly, as they bid
But I still ended up
A ******* addict.

He comes within 20 feet of me
And suddenly I'm soaring free
"High as a kite"--effortlessly
Ground falling from beneath my feet
The kind of happy that redefines happy
And when I say his name
Even the air tastes sweet.

When he smiles at me
There's nothing else I see
My hand brushing his warm cheek
Heat surging my body as my heart bleeds
My blood electric hot in my veins
Pulsing desire unrestrained
And I laugh at the world for being so insane
To allow so much beauty without any pain.

Drug addict, my brain snaps
When it's sick of being tricked
Into highs that can't last
The harder I try, the faster the crash
Flames burning out, leaving only gray ash.

For it's not real, this world of mine
Dreams within dreams, an invention of mind
Yet, just for a taste of that magical light
To see the stars winking as I soar through that sky
Well, for you, my drug, I'd let my heart bleed dry.

Burning liquor down my throat
Scorching through my veins
I'm buried in warm human flesh
Sweet stink of alcohol and sweat
Medicine for my brand of pain.

What I wouldn't give
To feel your lips on mine
To kiss with my heart
Rather than pretend with my mind
The ground beneath my feet
Rather than my head in the sky
My fingers digging into your skin
Rather than brushing a ghostly outline.

There was a time when
I cared about the lights
When my world turned dark
All my dreams had died
Now I wouldn't mind
The darkest of pits
If only you
Were by my side.

Do you remember when we first met?
When we hadn't grown up yet
Our worlds were so simple and sweet
Just like your heart that held me.
Your smile was all I could see.
Brighter than a thousand suns
And I
Whispered to myself
I found the one.

I still remember hot summer nights
Our hands brushing side by side
Laughing at nothing and everything
I felt sorry for everyone not me
'Cause you redefined happy
Just for me.

I wish you'd remember those golden days
A past from so far away
If you'd felt that same incandescence
Would you have strayed so very far?
And left me in the dark?

Brighter than a thousand suns
My eyes
Still adjusting
Looking, searching
For the happy
You made me.
But all I found
Was your memory.

Many lives ago and several stories away
Our chapter began in a very dark place
I was trying to piece together a freshly broken heart
Helplessly looking on as my world fell apart.

I was desperate for a lifeline, and along you came
A new roll of dice, and I gambled a new game
After all, I had absolutely nothing to lose
You were my anesthesia, my distraction, my use.

You became my challenge that was here to stay
I'd met my match with you, in just about every way
Little by little, I got caught in your magnetic pull
Only circling closer to what may be untouchable.

You're not the warm sweetness of the love I left behind
Nor the flashy brightness of the one I yearn to find
But as every brilliant supernova burns only to die
You shine the constant star in an otherwise black sky.

How ironic the place you now hold in my heart
My dream prince replaced by a contrary counterpart
There's no denying you were a Godsend
But who knows how, when, or if our story will end?

Look at her, she's so lucky
There she goes, the girl who has everything
They say, I'd be blind not to see
I have all the means
To be whatever I want to be
So cursed with all these blessings.
Why not gift them to those more deserving?
Those who'd use them to reach their dreams
Anyone, literally anyone in the world but me.

Look at me, look at my useless misery
So desperate for change, but unable to grow
Crying the very river in which I'm drowning slowly
Reached so high, dreamed so far, fallen so low
They say, she can easily get back on her feet
With love and support to cushion each blow
But I'm frozen, paralyzed, and they'll never know
How desperately I want to let it all go
Lay down, stop fighting, fall into a forever sleep.

Look at me, why can't you see how unworthy?
All these gifts, and I can't amount to anything
Mom and Dad, I want to tell you I'm sorry
This could be easier, if you'd just stopped believing
But you held on to high hopes for me
And kept telling me I could change everything
If only I keep going, keep hoping, keep trying
You gave me everything, promised you'd keep giving
But I'm exhausted, and so tired of living.

Winter 2015, and my cheeks ache from smiling
First semester's done, and I'm finally having fun.
Surrounded by loved ones assuring me I'm amazing
I'm scared to tell them
I'm having a hard time with this college thing.
You came along then, not yet my friend.
Funny, awkward child, with no sense of style
But for some reason, that holiday season
Marked the first chapter, the innocent beginning
I trace it back to that winter of 2015.

Spring 2016, and my stomach hurts from laughing
I'm back home again, on a cold, sunny weekend.
School is exhausting, and I feel my grip slipping
I've been so lonely I felt hollow and empty
You made it all go away, made everything okay
Who would have guessed your silly jokes and teasing
Were just what I needed, that spring of 2016.

Still 2016, and our bond is growing.
I go through my days with a huge smile on my face
Just waiting for Friday, when you walk through the doorway
And I feel the kind of happy that makes my toes curl
And makes me bounce around like a little girl
I didn't even see what you were becoming to me
Told myself you were just a child I regarded fondly
Despite the crushing despair whenever you weren't there
Despite the hours waiting for your name on my phone screen
Yes, I was still delusional by the end of 2016.

It's 2017, and my eyes sting from crying
But a few words from you and I can't stop laughing
You said what I needed to hear to persevere
Through the icy winters and blistering summer heat
You created my best memories.
The deli, the pool, the walks to the coffee shop
All those evenings I wished time would stop
When we worked as a team, when you starred in my dreams,
Those love poems I penned, my jealousy of your girlfriend
Finally forced me to stop denying my feelings
I could no longer ignore them in 2017.

Winter 2017, and I can't deny you're changing.
Taller, cooler, the boy of every girl's dream.
One night, we sang along to your favorite love song
We told each other stories and relived past memories
And I was absolutely, deliriously happy
Despite knowing your leaving will shatter my heart
Despite being closer than ever, we'd never been further apart.
I knew the end was beginning--in winter 2017.

It's 2018, and I've got to stop dreaming.
I'm fighting and screaming as our distance keeps growing.
You went from a child in my mind to a love of a painful kind.
And even as you stray away, and I beg for you to stay
I've known deep down every year that this day was drawing near.
So as I see the pretty girls you hold in a firm embrace
As the smile I've loved for years spreads across your face
I wish the best for you and remember all we've been through
Just now, you texted I love you, and I didn't say it back
Couldn't bring myself to.
Instead I opened my laptop and began typing everything
The last poem I'll write about you, in winter 2018.

You and I, our story starts in such a sweet and innocent time
I missed all the signs
Didn't know I was in love even though you never left my mind.
Now your warmth that's made me feel alive
Has started burning to the painful kind.

You're not here anymore
I keep looking at that empty door
Wondering what I'm still waiting for.
As the space between us grows
As our past goes up in smoke
I just can't let you go.

I see your eyes
Still the childlike ones full of hopes and dreams so bright
But they look right past me
At a future full of life and promise which I could never be.
But for me, you're all that I see
My ray of light, my perfect puzzle piece.

You're not here anymore
I keep looking at that empty door
Wondering what I'm still waiting for.
As the space between us grows
As our past goes up in smoke
I just can't let you go.

You're all that's real to me
All I hold on to, ignoring the pain.
You've become a part of me
I'd give anything you need
But it's all in vain.

You're not here anymore
I keep looking at that empty door
Wondering what I'm still waiting for.
As the space between us grows
As our past goes up in smoke
I just can't let you go.

First, I see him walk through the door
He smiles, but it's not the same anymore
From across the room, our eyes meet
And I wonder if he'll ever see
The shattered pieces in my eyes
Fragments of a dream that died
But as my voice calls out his name
I begin to wonder what really changed.

How did I fool myself? I let myself go
Some place that never existed
And I should have never held on so hard
To what was never mine to start with.

Ask him how he's been these days
Nod and smile at everything he says
Think back to a sweeter past
All my hopes that couldn't last
And I almost laugh at what I did
How I lost myself bit by bit
But I'd give anything to go back
Yeah, I'd give anything to go back.

How did I fool myself? I let myself go
Some place that never existed
And I should have never held on so hard
To what was never mine to start with.

Soon it's time for me to go
I leave the room, and he doesn't follow
And I hate myself for my last try
To get him to at least say goodbye.
But he won't even glance my way
Won't see how much I want to stay
I'll take the pain of living the lie
If it's the only way to feel alive.

How did I fool myself? I let myself go
Some place that never existed
And I should have never held on so hard
To what was never mine to start with.

I push my notebook aside for a study break
Find the song that you love on my phone.
Turn up the volume as high as it goes
Let the sweet melody take me back home.

Close my eyes and hear your voice in my head
Let the lyrics bring memories to fall into
When the song stops it hurts to open my eyes
But I hit replay to feel closer to you.

Oh, I remember some lifetimes ago
You walked smiling through the old battered door.
And my heart lifted, but then I didn't know
You would one day be my favorite hello
Though you won't know I'll miss you so
Can I get a goodbye when I go?

I look back at some photos from the past
Your old T-shirts, baggy shorts, messy hair
Now you've grown up into a real heartbreaker
But the boy I first loved is still there.

Oh, I remember just a summer ago
You made me laugh before my tears overflowed
And my heart lifted, but then I didn't know
You were my warmth when I felt cold and alone
You never know how far your sweetness goes
Maybe that's the reason why I love you so.

Oh my sweetheart
You are the only one I turn to
To give me hope for all that's good and true.
The songs you gave me
Broke my heart to listen through
But I don't care; I felt closer to you.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Little Do You Know" by Alex and Sierra. All rights go to them for this poem. I simply used their song and changed up some of the words because this song is special to me and the person this poem is about. (If you haven't heard this song I highly recommend btw).

Little do you know how much you truly mean to me
Little do you know I'm so attached to our memories.
Little do you know I feel my heart break piece by piece
Little do you know I
Can't stand saying goodbye.

Underneath it all, I've learned how to hide the ache inside
I've been counting down the days until you're by my side
I've loved you for so long but these feelings are so hard to hide
Little do you know I
Can't stand saying goodbye.

I'll wait, I'll wait
I'll love you even if it leads to pain
I'll wait
Just promise me you'll never change
I'll wait
I promise we can stay the same
So let me hold you tight.

Little do you know you're my last thought before I fall asleep
Little do you know your smile is my favorite sight to see
Little do you know my time with you is so bittersweet
Little do you know I
I've loved you for all this time.

Just wait, oh wait
I love you and I'm not afraid
Just wait
As long as you can let me stay
Everything will be all right.

I'll wait, I'll wait
I'll love you even if it leads to pain
I'll wait
Just promise me you'll never change
Just wait
I promise we can stay the same
So let me hold you tight.

All will be all right.
As long as you stay my light.

Cause little do you know I
I've loved you for all this time.

https://genius.com/Alex-and-sierra-little-do-you-know-lyrics

I love the warmth of your fingertips
When you place your hand over mine.
I love the way your big, bright smile
Can light up a room like sunshine.

I love how your quick, sharp mind
Holds your ambition and brilliancy.
I love how your heart is filled
With sweetness and sensitivity.

I love how you say what I need to hear
Without even having to try.
I love how you're the only one
Who can make me laugh when I want to cry.

I love how you're never scared to be yourself
With the quiet confidence I've always wished for
I love the way you can make my whole day
Just by walking through the door.

I love the way you're one of the few
Who can effortlessly understand me
I love that when I’m with you
There’s nowhere I’d rather be.

Standing in my doorway, his face shining in delight
A smirking promise that we'll have so much fun tonight.
The noise, the speed, all a dark, crazy blur
His hands in my hair, his arms holding me so tight.

A quiet morning after, the softness in a new day
He's still here, promising me he'll always stay.
I see in his eyes, the girl I could never be
But he thinks, wrongly, that I am beautiful this way.

But your voice is the memory I can't leave behind.
When I close my eyes, your face comes to mind
Yours is the touch that binds me like a drug
Yours is the love of the most twisted, evil kind.

Hiding tears as I watch from the sidelines
A dark shadow to your world of sunshine
Take comfort in knowing that justice was served
For by breaking one heart, I also shattered mine.

The silvery glow of gentle moonlight
Slices through the ink-black skies
Turning a dark world softly bright
As I pray for sleep this lonely night
For dreams that allow a look into your eyes.

Maybe days or months or years have gone
But I can still feel the warmth of your skin
Remember your sweetness during every love song
See your bright smile from dusk to dawn
Hear your voice that calms my fears within

The softness of your fingers curled over mine
The glow from the memories you left behind
Stay in my heart, as my own, small sunshine
Even blind  hope can become a lifeline
Hope for you by my side, instead of on my mind.

Darling, there you are--
My eyes find you from afar.
Beneath a halo of sunlight
Eyes so soft, and smile so bright.
The cool balm in summer's blistering heat
The fruit with an aftertaste, so very sweet.
The quilt quieting the soul to a dreamless sleep
As outside, the world rages with winter's weep.
My love, my heart fills to my throat.
As it journeys to these times so very remote.
To keep the glow from your presence with me
I slip quietly away--let the tears fall where no one will see.

Once upon a dead, cold night, the wind howling with all its might
I’m curled near my fireplace, shielded by walls of stone.
Yet even near the glowing-blue flames, I shiver all the same.
But the fire is not to blame, for the chill seeping through my bones.
The icy fist closed over my heart, the grip as hard as stone
Leaves me with no other choice but to bear the cold alone.

The one way to melt that ice comes at a heavy price.
I try to fight the image, but your face swims to my mind--
Mischievous and dark-eyed, with a childish grin so wide.
Youth and immaturity aside, your heart was naturally kind.
Despite the fondness I felt for you, you stayed a child in my mind.
Until little by little, the walls around my heart you undermined.

It took me too long to see what you were becoming to me--
How my life’s dimming light grew brighter around you.
My days grew more dreary and my soul more weary
My focus grew bleary, but the fog lifts when I see you.
As the bond between our souls grew and grew
There was nothing your smile could not get me through.

Time rushed on, dragging us painfully along
Hardening the planes of your once-childish face--
Setting a serious light into eyes still so very bright
Yet still, our love is impossible outright in this rule-bound place
Which cares not which demons a lonely soul must face.
I pleaded the heavens, but virtue is cruel and shows no grace.

The connection we have, each smile, each touch, each laugh
Both my brightest treasure and my hardest memory
To what sinful depths must I act--to keep my one treasure intact?
The devil offers a pact knowing heaven and earth have no mercy.
What’s there to live for in a world that has abandoned me?
What’s there to stop the devil from giving me my love--and setting me free?