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Sean Maloney May 1
I miss you
Not in the way a high schooler misses an ex
The way a spouse misses a life partner
It’s been a day
Sean Maloney May 8
Maybe I should get off the site
Or make a new account
I don’t want to lose my library
Nor my audience

Everything I attempt goes to you in the end
Even if it was supposed to be a dump
Or a creation
Maybe that’s what I get for taking your site

I didn’t even remember
That this was yours
Until you reminded me
Just to be honest
But I still love you
I understand
It’s just killing me
I can’t be there
That’s all I want to be
Sean Maloney May 1
Don’t forget

I play for you too
All the writing is about you
Every note is feeling you
Even if you don’t ever hear it
It’s still for you
Sean Maloney Jun 30
I’m just
I’m going to try to sleep
If I’m up all night so be it
This hurts
Sean Maloney Apr 16
Hey twig
You’re a pretty hot twig
I wish you could see my new TikTok
It’s going to be for you
And for me
My best poems are love poems
I always wanted them to succeed
I wish it meant something now
Sean Maloney Aug 8
When will I not **** up
Why can’t I do it now
I thought I couldn’t cry
I didn’t know why
Now I know
You kept me whole
Sean Maloney May 8
I asked AI
The trolley problem
It chose changing tracks
That got me thinking

If an AI system
Built to be fully ethical
Would choose several lives over one
Knowing it’s choosing death
Does that mean decisions don’t have to benefit everyone else?

My whole life
I put myself down for others
In every decision
I handed over solos
Let people go
It wasn’t for me
It was for everyone else

Now I’m thinking
What my life can be if I change that
Maybe the way to do so isn’t resurfacing the past
And breaking every ethical law in existence
Maybe it’s to build a new future

So I’m switching out my friends
For ones who actually care and understand
Who support everything I do

I’m putting effort into fixing my family
It never really was that bad to fix
It felt impossible because I had so many problems

What even are problems
I think they’re useless
No life lesson has problems
Sure there are limitations, and motivators
Not making an audition just means working harder though
There’s always next time

I spent so much time
Worrying about me
While I worked for others
Deciding against my own health


I’ll never be okay
Never alright or bien
But I can be me
I can lose useless problems
I can learn what healthy supporting is
Sean Maloney Jun 20
Today felt real
And I know we’re real
But it didn’t feel like living off a chance
It felt like we were living now

I’ve been dreaming of us for years
Caring about you for months
Talking to you for weeks
But today was somehow different
You showed me vulnerable
And it clicked
You’re not talking to me
The weird kid
The boy who can’t do anything right
You’re talking to Sean
The projected confidence
The bundle of odd talent
And many things I personally wouldn’t call myself

But now I know
Who I really am
Because you see Sean for who he is
And I want to too
Sean Maloney May 8
The days of doing airplanes on the 35
The ease of moving into depression
Hurting but wanting
Hurting from wanting

It was like clockwork
Each day I would fix everything
Only to make it worse
Wanting what I couldn’t have

Now I work harder
I do more than ever
Yet there’s still the hurt
Maybe it’s time to **** want
Sean Maloney May 2
Layers
Of emotions
Depths
Of pain
The weight of the world
Resting on top of my heart

I don’t know why
I let myself get frustrated
How conveniently it maxed as soon as the moment came
If I had just begged
Listened to my heart
Then at least if it wouldn’t have worked
I could know it wasn’t me

But instead
I got mad
For my own mistake
I’m just frustrated with myself really
Because I say I can’t have anything
When I send it all away
At the first opportunity
Without even thinking

I don’t struggle with actions
Not at all
I just can’t decide
I never know what’s BEST
I just know that you are
Which makes me the worst
For everyone
For you
For me
Sean Maloney Jun 8
Something you ask a lot
Is how I manage to keep seeing you wrong
I don’t think that’s it though
I see you how you want me to see you
Everything is perfect
Even things you’d argue aren’t great
I love every inch I’ve seen
And I’d like to explore all of you
If that’s alright
Sean Maloney Jun 9
Other girls are just people. Eliza is… her. She doesn’t leave my head. She’s the motivation for me to live, the reason I want to live my life, the source of my hearts love. Everything about her screams the most intense levels of attraction, and I wouldn’t spend a second trying to find something not scorching hot, I’ll take being in awe. She amazes me, how someone so perfect can exist, and I know I’m lucky to have met her, because she’s not that girl you dream of and forget…. she’s the eternal dream you can’t ever let go.
Sean Maloney Jul 3
Seconds pass like hours
Yet my heart beats quick-
To the thought of your voice
Soft and electric-making silence tick
Sean Maloney Jun 5
You’re the sun when the day feels gray,
burning gold through every cloud in my way.
When I’m lost in the silence of my own storm,
your warmth is the only thing keeping me warm.

Your beauty doesn’t beg, it just is,
a quiet kind of magic wrapped in bliss.
Like the light spilling over a sleeping town,
you don’t even try—and still, I drown.

Your eyes are oceans, deep and true,
not just blue—the blue I never knew.
Every glance pulls me out past shore,
makes me forget what I was hurting for.

Your voice is a hush the world can’t fake,
like angels resting in the breath they take.
It smooths the sharp edges of my mind,
like wind through the trees, soft and kind.

When you’re near, the world slows down,
like time kneels to you, lays down its crown.
Even silence feels more alive when you speak,
a whisper from you makes my knees go weak.

I don’t need answers, I don’t need signs—
I’ve already found all I need in your lines.
The sun, the sea, the voice I knew—
they’ve always been you, just you.
Sean Maloney Jun 21
I wonder what it’s like

For you to be tangible
Not an idea-
Not a feeling-
But just a person
Someone in my life

I wish you were
Instead of a face on a screen
Pictures in my head
Memories sewn together in dreams

I just wonder some days
When you’ll be a person
Someone to touch-
Feel-
Look at

I wonder if I’ll ever be enough to do so
Sean Maloney Jun 5
Your eyes whispered sweet dreams to me
Impossible to ignore-
Nor look away
Deep blue
But reflecting the treasures they store

I missed looking at you
Laughing with you
I missed that look you gave me
Maybe I just missed you

I desired to kiss you
And I’ll be honest-
That’s why I tapped you with my soda
Because if I can’t lay my hand on your cheek
I’ll settle with you knowing I’m there
Sean Maloney Apr 13
Why can’t I stop
Where am I getting these words from
Each line
Each sentence
Feels like a desperate cry
For dreams to meet reality
For your hand to be placed in mine

When does it end
When does the reality check land on us
When can I finally be done dreaming
When can I instead be living
A life I can built with you
Pure and genuine

We won’t give up
We won’t retaliate

We can’t fight non verbalized wars

My hearts stays pure to you

As it’s the only version of me that’s true

I’m sure you have the slightest clue

All I want is you

Girl you’re the only thing that makes sense in life

The only person who understands
Only one who listens
Only understander
Only listener
Only true lover

So the words fly to my beating heart
I’m wondering
Do yours flow too
And if so
May they speak to me
Sean Maloney Jun 20
I know you’re okay
                                   But I worry
                                                        And miss you
                            I want you back
Where are you
                            Come back
                                                 I love you
Why is now normal
What happened to last week
I’m stuck in the past again
This time-it’s permanent

It feels like me
Happiness was too much to ask for
My stomach wants to **** me though
I need an antidote
Sean Maloney Apr 13
Hours passed,
Turning into days,
Then to months,
Until it had been almost a year

I still remember
The days of sleeping on the couch
Haunted by my bed
My outlet
My tv

I thought that night would never end
The morning felt like a typical colorful day
We were talking about random things
You complained about your allergies
But then
In one snap
Everything darkened

I can’t remember the exact amount of time
Could be 7 hours 32 minutes and around forty two estimated seconds
I spent awake on the couch
Staring at the wall
Thinking of us
Or what used to be us
Probably what could’ve been us


And soon came a long era
Of lying to myself to create brightness
Of emotions I couldn’t contain
Thoughts that triggered me
Until it almost consumed me
And I was back in school
Surrounded by you

God I prayed that I would be around you
Even though I knew nothing would happen
I’d fight my best friend over standing next to you in the stands
But I’m glad I won every time

I know the story is you hurt me in the fall
But in truth,
You opened my heart back up
And although you took the hits from that
It made the inevitable make sense
If something is impossible,
And makes sense,
What you’ve got is something
And that’s not to give up on

I’ve always seeked approval from you
Wanting you to see me as something to keep
Or to obtain
Life just doesnt work that way though
I can’t make you want me
Which is why the inevitability is my second greatest ally
The first would be you
Note to self- don’t watch La La land before writing a poem

— The End —