You exist like a thought I never meant to say out loud-
but now that I have, I can’t imagine silence without you.

You say maybe I’ll find someone else filling-
But I say baby,
If there’s someone else waiting,
My answer is I have a lady.

You’ve expressed your doubts,
And I hear your thoughts,
However you hit all the spots-
My heard had kept hidden in knots.

To be honest- you complete me,
So much all I think of saying is true,
So here’s something I can guarantee-
I love you

You say I see you too kindly,
like the way I talk about you doesn’t match the mirror.
But I’m not making anything up.
I’m just telling you what’s always been there-
what you won’t admit,
but I’ve always seen.

You’re warmth.
Not just kind warmth-
but the kind I’ve been looking for,
the kind I thought didn’t exist.

I tell you you’re beautiful,
and you give me that look.
But it’s not about belief.
It’s just what’s true.

You’ve said you might love me more.
Maybe you do.
But I still love you like it’s the only thing I’m sure of.
And that doesn’t stop
just because someone’s love runs louder.

When I play, I lose myself in sound.
But when I’m with you,
I don’t want to be anything else.
No note I’ll ever play
means more than sitting beside you when nothing’s happening.

Music makes me feel everything.
You make me feel home.

So even if you shake your head at what I say-
even if you never fully believe it-

I’ll still say it.
I’ll still mean it.
I’ll still love you
as hard as I can.

I hold two things close to me in life

Music
The thing I plan to pursue
My goals and accomplishments

And her
The person I love most
My dreams and safe place

Music makes me feel one with my instrument
I’m no longer
Myself
I can be something more
I can be the notes
Bouncing off the walls
Vibrating across the building

But she makes me feel warmth
A warmth nothing else can
A warmth I’ve longed for so long
And now-
That desire is replaced with her
Every time I fall, or jump, or even sit still-
I want her to be there-
To pick me up, or congratulate me, or sit next to me

I like making the saxophone sound warm and fuzzy
It’s my favorite sound to make
My favorite feeling is similar-
It’s the warm fuzziness my heart swells with when she’s here

My two most important things in life
Are music and love
Often intertwined
But don’t be fooled
I’d give up the music in a heartbeat-
To keep this specific love
One where our hearts beat deeper than any metronome can

I love her more than life itself
And to be honest-
I’d fight for her over myself
It’s just how I love her, and only her

Words don’t speak-
Not like eyes do
We can promise ourselves for months
But the look we give one another says it too
There’s no secrets between us
It all spews out in a simple glance

I don’t hear the meaning in your words
I hear what’s going on in your head-
The ideas put onto the screen
You’re so readable to me
As if I know what you’ll say before I’ve seen

I can feel love next to you
I can see love in your eyes
I can hear love in your voice
I can be in love with you
And that’s all I want to do

I’d say don’t leave me now-
Don’t leave me ever
But I see in your head-
I see the same dreams, forever

Currently
We’re in uncharted territory
With things ending last April
And this past April
Summer was never us
But now we get to fix that

No more crying at night with no one there-
No one to understand
No more seeing you in every room-
Just to remember I won’t see you till band camp

It might be the start to a new era
But there’s something more
Maybe it’s the path to a new normal

We hide our feelings
In invisible ink
Not because we don’t want to share
But we intend to keep it private

It’s permanent
We’re here to stay
But we temporarily show ourselves
Filling lines in every corner
And to everyone else
They see a blank paper

I don’t though
I have the ability to see your ink
A purple light to reveal our purple thoughts
And I think they’re beautiful
Do you think so too?

I don’t understand
Why does everything have to be drama
Like I don’t enjoy this
I’d rather not cry alone
It was all I wanted
But now that it’s here
I just want it gone