I can’t stop writing
Maybe the inspiration is what I’d be saying to you
Or it could just be the aching of my heart
That wasn’t here for a month
Just to come back worse than ever

It’s cold
At the beach
Even with a flannel
I’m shivering

And I keep zoning out
I don’t mean to
But losing myself in my thoughts
Old our thoughts
It’s nicer than reality

I’m a ******* disappointment
For everyone
There’s nothing I can do to help it
I’m just not happy
I have no energy
I have nothing

All the trust
The energy
Love
It only mattered with you
We were a source for me
The only way I could be human
But I’m just a monster
A shell of a person

I miss you
Not in the way a high schooler misses an ex
The way a spouse misses a life partner

I don’t want this
I don’t like this
Not sure I can live like this

What even is
This?
It’s just a forced decision
To end a relationship
Of sorts

It’s strange
How I’m not depended on you to be me
But I still need you
Because I don’t like the me without you
Why fight the fight if I don’t come back to you

It’s like sending Superman out to fight aliens
To defend another planet
So he can come home
To an empty penthouse
With all her things
But nobody to call home
Is he even home
Or is it a shell of what had been

Not sure I want this
Not sure I like this
I’m stuck in a death loop
But I can’t burden anyone to let me out

I see our poems trending
The ones we wrote about us
Secrets to never be spoken of again
Even between us

It hurts
To know that people supported us
To know people liked us
Because they knew us
The way we knew us

So in the end
Anyone could see the love
It’s just those that feared it
I don’t know why they fear me
I’m no Heisenberg
Couldn’t hurt a fly
Drink a sip of alcohol
Hell I couldn’t even beg you to stay

I was listening
To every note
All the beautiful melodies
Each word spoken by you

I just couldn’t
Couldn’t look at you again that day
How could I see those beautiful lips in second period
And miss my world in eighth

I didn’t physically wave
But I stared at you through the art
I saw us in every corner
Don’t know why my brain is so confused about it being over

I listened
Just as I am now
Just wish I could do more
But we know I’m trapped

I know you won’t stop
Just keep being careful
If I go to class one day and you’re not there
And I hear you won’t be back
We’re both not gonna be there
And we won’t be back

I get that
Hold back on the cutting
For me
It’s all I can ask of you

And if you really believe that
There’s really one answer
Because I’m not letting you die
I may not be able to do anything
But I’m not leaving if you’re stuck here too
**** the haters
If there’s a will there’s a way