My mistake was putting you first
Forgetting myself in the process
Constantly dying of thirst
Selflessness is what I possess

You always came before second place
Now it’s time to change and have priorities rearranged
In the crowded streets I’ll no longer be searching for your face
Since we’re now distant and estranged

I uplifted you but without a warning you dismantled me
Emptied my soul and shuffled it like a puzzle piece
Funny enough I got warnings about how things would eventually be
I was deluded, thinking our connection would never cease

First place was your title in my heart
You shook the foundation we built and let it fall apart
Now I live in fear
It’s evident in my scars

Learning to stand on your own two feet
Knowing the true value of money and who in your circle you should keep
Expected to make life choices
Battling and dealing with the recurring voices in your head
When you know you should stay in bed
Than scouting around for an individual who left you on read

What do these humans call it, adulting?
I for one think it’s insulting
Why do you perceive that I’m ready to heed
what’s coming for me and that I’m better on my own with my stumbling feet?
And I’m expected to be physically, mentally and spiritually at my peak
But all I do is internally bleed

Truth is I’m continuous entity that is always growing
Living in a generation that has so many feelings without showing emotion
I don’t have it figured out and don’t expect me to
But when the day arrives I’ll exactly know how to navigate through

Perfection is not what I seek
But rather, love where I can bear my heart and showcase my scars
Genuity and a soul that is for keeps
Love that makes me visualize you when I gaze at the stars

Unravel your best and worst in my presence
Don't be frightened to be open and honest
I'm willing to accept you and your effervescence
Unleash your wild side because I'm familiar with the modest

Relations and communication are a package deal
Vent to me about your unpleasant day
Confide in me and I'll reassure you about how I feel
As I uplift your mood with every word I say

Honesty and truth is what I require
Slightest physical contact awakens slumbering desire

I kiss her lips in the morning
She takes control over my lungs with every ******
I run my fingers on her rim as if I'm drawing
She gladly burns my lips and it gives me a rush

I hear people call her a cause of cancer
But she's my mental cure
A catalyst for influenza
An enemy delivered to the liver

I tried once to leave her but she always comes creeping back
A stress reliever for the reality I'm faced with
She puts me in line when I seem to go off track
Or maybe I'm just an addict who hides behind mystery

A dilemma of choosing between ethanol and nicotine
They comfort me and help me have lucid dreams

But then again it's not one woman but two of them
I know they will always remain loyal no matter the circumstance
I call them cigarettes and bourbon
They  aid in numbing my burdens