'RRriiinngggg'
My telephone interrupts my concentration as I write the stories on my blog. I ignore the sound.
'RRriiinngggg!'
I'm in a groove now, my mind's engaged and focused on the deepest, darkest of fantasies.
'RRRIIINNNGGGG!'
*******! I look at the Caller I.D. and notice it's a local Area Code. I'd better answer the call.
"Hello?"
"Congratulations!"
Definitely an American accent.
"You pre-qualify for an all-expense paid cruise
on one of our premium luxury liners!"
I wait patiently for the pre-recorded greeting to end.
"Please press one now to speak to one of our live associates."
Bip
"Hello, thank you for accepting our exclusive offer!"
The accent doesn't sound local at all.
A young woman begins to read from a script.
She describes all of the wonderful free amenities
which come to those who accept the offer.
I wait patiently while she describes the free meals, room and board and
beverages aboard ship and in any of their affiliated Five Star Hotels
while in port at any one of several beautiful locations.
"How many persons are in your party?"
"Oh, I travel alone."
"No worries," she says cheerfully, and continues for a few
more minutes describing all of the exciting and free
activities I'll experience by accepting this limited-time-only offer.
"So tell me, what is it you think you may enjoy most about this exciting opportunity?"
"Oh," I begin, touching on some of the activities she'd mentioned earlier,
"I like to sunbathe on the clean, sunny beaches,
scuba dive in the crystal clear waters,
swim with the dolphins...
but mostly I like going to the bars at the 5 Star Hotels,
drinking and dancing with the pretty women."
Giggles an irresistible little giggle,
then continues, "Oh, there's lots and lots
of beautiful single women at our destinations."
"Yes, I'm sure there are," as I continue,
"I like to take them out to a secluded spot
on the beautiful scenic beach, and as the sun sets,
I enjoy tying them up to a coconut tree and ******* their brains out."
Silence
"Hello, are you still there?"
Click
*Dial Tone