These are the things
Bad days are made out of.

Too much *****
And too little foresight
A recipe for bad decisions
Drinking can bring out a persons character
But you were a more real monster
Than I was equipped for
You were sober
When you tore off your fleshy mask.
See,
It was MY drinking
That brought out your real character

I am not a fool
And even less of a victim
And you should have thought
Before you deemed a few shots
A good enough way to get me vulnerable

Because I'm not a fool
and even less of a victim
And you weren't able to take advantage.
But even though I kept my body private
To those who do not have a personal invitation
The hands you put on me leave heat on my porcelain skin
Where fire starts to kindle
A rage only seen in hatred
And it's cracking my complexion
The anger underneath my eyes.
My skin you touched without asking
A snake slithering under the flesh you call a home
When I said no I meant it
And I enforced it.

But I'm not a fool.
And I'm less of a victim.
And it kills me to know you tried.

These are the things bad days are made of.

When you finally found me,
like you've been trying so desperately to,
I was hoping you'd see my blossoming,
the beauty id found since your absence.
The lost weight, new hair, new makeup.
But when you bumped into me,
I didn't even realize that I was in an oversized tshirt with not an ounce of makeup
To you I must look ragged,
looked weakened.
I realized I was strong,
because I stood behind my friends
like an army,
and laughed at what a silly girl  you were,
seeking out a girl who didn't need makeup anymore after you had left.

when he smiles at me
I say "I love you"
when he's mad at me
I say "I love you"
when he's hurt by me
I say "I love you"
when he tells me to change
i say *"I loved you"

He smiled at me 
Bright white perfect smile
Straight as the AA token he threw away years ago. 
I sighed, your smile brought sunshine 
But your eyes brought rain 
Your voice rings in my skull like thunder clouds. 
I'm still packing my bags. 

Baby, don't you know I'm tired of the weather?