If this is a test
Then, dear, I’m failing
I’m still texting you every
Single
Day
I miss you so much
It hurts not knowing
I’m struggling
But I’m sure you’ve got it worse
I wish I could see into your head
I need to know how you’re doing
How is it going
I miss you i miss you
I do
I’m failing without you

When I die
Yeah, people will be sad
Some might even cry
But as the days go on
And the years pass by
They will slowly forget that I’m gone
They’ll forget to look for me in the halls
They won’t ask where I’ve been
They’ll stop wondering when I’ll call
The only place they’ll look for me
Is buried deep in their memories
Where I’ll always be
As long as you remember me
And if you forget
Hey, that’s okay
I will see you again someday
When I die
Some people might cry
But I will always be
Alive inside your memories

I come home
After faking a smile
And curl up on my bathroom floor
And sob
Silently, of course
I’m broken and I cannot be fixed

How do I tell people
That I don’t see a future?
When I look it seems foggy
Like an unreachable dream
And my instincts are telling me
You’re not going to make it that far
And I want to
I do
But it doesn’t seem reasonable
Even my body is against it
I don’t see a future
The future isn’t bright
Its darkness smothered in fog

You wanted to know?
You wanted to know why did I go
I left because I wanted to die.
I left because I ran out of tears to cry.
You said suicide was the most selfish thing
So I left so I could still dream
But you dragged me back and the feeling grows
I don’t tell anybody, nobody knows
That I’m already dead
With all my words still unsaid
I don’t sleep at night
My mind is in a constant fight
For a life I don’t even want to stay in
You think you’ll win
But in the end
I’ll be gone and no one will
No one will win

Everyone is asking me
If I’m okay
And I just say yes
Because it’s easier to be
To be okay
But it never feels right
And I guess
I guess that’s because ive spoken to you
And they don’t follow it up
With “do you promise?”
They don’t do it like you
So I’ll lie and say yes
I guess

You want me to be someone I’m not
Just like I want you to be someone you’re not
But we aren’t the same
I want you to be a mother
But you will never change
you want me to be perfect
And I will change infinite times
Trying to be what you want
We are not the same
I don’t know who I am anymore