And suddenly I know
About the cross on your ankle
The way the humidity
Poofs your hair
How you love New York
Cars and tattoos
Poetry and chili dogs
And you ask the excellent questions
Had me smiling from ear to ear
My heart was pounding
I still can’t sleep
Adrenaline from you
Getting to know you
Sweet, kind, amazing you

I’m trying my best to be okay
Okay
So stop yelling
Put down the sharp words
Quit making me cry
I’m tired
Please let me try
To be okay
Okay?

Sometimes when I’m running
I detach from reality
And suddenly I’m face down in the rocks
And my knees are ******
And I’m throwing up
But there’s no one to save me
No one to pick me back up
Thats what happens when you’re on your own
You have to stitch up the wound
Stitch it closed alone
And there’s sweat on my hairline
And blood on the dirt
But I have to put myself back on my feet
And keep running
Like I didn’t miss a beat

If this is a test
Then, dear, I’m failing
I’m still texting you every
Single
Day
I miss you so much
It hurts not knowing
I’m struggling
But I’m sure you’ve got it worse
I wish I could see into your head
I need to know how you’re doing
How is it going
I miss you i miss you
I do
I’m failing without you

When I die
Yeah, people will be sad
Some might even cry
But as the days go on
And the years pass by
They will slowly forget that I’m gone
They’ll forget to look for me in the halls
They won’t ask where I’ve been
They’ll stop wondering when I’ll call
The only place they’ll look for me
Is buried deep in their memories
Where I’ll always be
As long as you remember me
And if you forget
Hey, that’s okay
I will see you again someday
When I die
Some people might cry
But I will always be
Alive inside your memories

I come home
After faking a smile
And curl up on my bathroom floor
And sob
Silently, of course
I’m broken and I cannot be fixed

How do I tell people
That I don’t see a future?
When I look it seems foggy
Like an unreachable dream
And my instincts are telling me
You’re not going to make it that far
And I want to
I do
But it doesn’t seem reasonable
Even my body is against it
I don’t see a future
The future isn’t bright
Its darkness smothered in fog