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Began with an emotionless admittance of a fact of attraction
I never imagined that even this would happen
But then emotionless admittance because emotional satisfaction
Desires I didnt remember could feel different in action
Fact is hearts never had to have
hope, to hope, to happen

I already knew that affection runs in all directions
but to realize that for it to be tinted ****** did not mean it was an infection,
that essentially it was all aimed at knowing your perspective and introspection,
and has become the spectacular insight that
between two people so alike and different as you and i,
this weird state of existence in ****** desire and friendship,
is beginning to be the exceptional exception to my age old misdirection.

I dont know if its just because you were there for the discovery
but i think for sure it has to do with your desire to discover me

so
when i begin to remember
how uncertainty and smiles slipped
across your skin the same way
blue silk did,

How uniquely i get to discover
the willingness to take leaps of faith
in my seeking faithless friend

How remarkably shocking it is
to see you lay yourself bare before me
and that you, to me
are such much more than half naked.

I get to see you.
I get to know more of you
than i ever have before
I get to discover so much more of who you are
when your plush pajamas hit the floor
The image of God, seen in a "Godless heathen"
Before you was an ideal , but now is something I believe in.
I had only ever seen
you in black and white
in faded out photos on a poetry page
in long letters typed out in
black letters on white
screen
they even lacked the curl of your hand
traveling over paper
but i asked about what color your eyes were
and i asked questions to discover colors
and we had so many colors in common
that we blended into a unique hue
of blue like your eyes and mine
of prismatic glory in our words and our minds
our colors clashed intensely in some places among the prism
allowing us to discover the brightness of colors
that we thought to be plain
an the intensity of new hues
deeper greens, blacks, blues
when they blended and were the same

we are like light
attempting to be black and white
and managing only to discover how colorful we really are
I know that I will at times struggle for words…or even use too many to say too little.  Expect this. It is part of me. I will try to connect myself to the world, to circumstance, to people, with words. I attempt to stitch my fingertips to what I touch, see, and feel, with what I say. I attack with words. I defend with words. I seek, run, build and dismantle with words. There is sometimes in me a necessity for silence. But it does not come often enough. Why? It is because I fear it. I fear what silence means, because words are tangible, hey can be defined, put in boxes, made to be straight or curved, applied in context, and analyzed even for meaning separate of context. But silence? Silence can mean so many things.  There are clues with softer edges that require much more foreknowledge to obtain. Silence can be shaped by emotion into something in the mind of the beholder that it is not to the one who sits quiet. Words too can be misconceived, but with words, things are definable and misconception is almost always evident to one or the other. With silence, misconception is often left in ignorance. Both the silent and the listener are unaware of the other’s thoughts and intentions with silence. Silence is at least as powerful a tool as words.  They may both change the courses of lives. There is a time for silence and for speaking. But it is my mind which fails to know when silence is more necessary, because my mind almost by nature uses words to explain or ascribe meaning to almost everything and anything I experience.  See how long this single entry is? To explain words and their role and importance to me I am using words, because in my emotions, words are bridges, and silences are those bridges burning.  I am using words, but I will learn to use silence.
And then society started splitting truths like hairs and blurring bold lines into itty bitty discrepancies that make the world go round – only a little bit differently than you would think – they started talking more and meaning less, using words that were meaningless and hiding what they meant from themselves in a massive mess of words that make no sense under the surface – they started running from the truth without even knowing they were moving – they thought they had it in their hands, but turns out it was a trick of the light – the senses that were their only source of inference.
she... she left me callous and cold, ripped raw and alone, ....you...you spoke radio wave words that embedded themselves in my skin, took time to sink and burrow in, I, I made promises that shuffled into the sketched edge skyline, my lifeline, I, screamed promises at God.
In the beginning there was truth, unhindered and un-splintered
obvious and obviously good, remember?
then entered a serpent who'd had his ego injured
he spoke words more smoothe and sly than  eve's ears had ever heard

Speak Truth!

Since then the disharmony is harmin me
dissonance is dissin me in totality
breakin me apart my heart is split into
two - count em two- duality
******* the vitality right outta me
leaving me wounded and without a dynamic melody to sing in metaphysical reality

It's not just a fable see-
they're trying to change me, chain me
trying to tame me, train me

I AM BEING DOMESTICATED.
I am being transformed from the true but hated
into the shallow form of the antiquated
into little mix and match mutt, play nice, look better than ever, half true whole lie
source of more than a little disturbing shoe leather

I AM BEING WALKED ON.
I AM DONE.
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