See what you left me with? Do you? It took me a long time for me to see...you left me. with everything. Right here. All of it. Took nothing with you...except maybe the memories...the one thing I wish I could be sure you didnt leave.

You make me sick
What you did to me won't let me go
And I'm just supposed to act
Like i never needed you to take it all back
But you did it
And you didn't
Ever think of what itd make me
You make me sick.

Just not my best friend anymore...
It just isn't so
But these vagabond feelings I feel
They just wont go
You've still got some ****** up hold
I think in how you left
You steal the feelings I wish I could feel
It's the worst kind of theft.

Bile in the back of my throat...
Fighting my past until I choke
I'll spit you out if I have to
Walk away from the wet spot you make on the pavement
And never look back
I can hope...
Why don't you just let go?

Take me by the neck
Drown me
I won't make a sound
I didnt then
I won't now
Not even a whimper
It's simple
Finish me.
Hold me under until the
Struggling
                     Stops.
Tick....
              Tock...

I thought
"you and i have what she and i lost"
It's not easy
to be sure of what I've got
there is
that sort of
spark
in my chest
not butterflies
but this
this is new...different...
this can take my breath.
It's been far too long and I've been living in my chest
suffocating in blood from the wounds that she left. . .
and for a time i had forgotten you had watched
(buried it more like)
but when i remembered...
that on a day many months ago...you didn't go
when i wanted to
disappear
you held me there...
in your driveway..
almost from third person, i watched my self
break
in YOUR
arms...
you keep telling me i didn't deserve it...
you said it'd be okay

and baby..the irony of that
isn't lost on me today.

I am contradiction, confliction,
I am human.
Misconception
I had me but i lost me
stared at my reflection
inflection
in my voice
misguides your misdirection
mistakes
made by choice
a past without correction
this is my self infliction,
I am contradiction, confliction
i never learn my lesson.