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LuLu Apr 2015
I painted this smile
Do you feel who I am
Does it masquerade the ugly
Showing what's good and not bad

I adorn this gown
Made of satin and lace
Hiding from the world
Just taking up space

Behind this mask
You cannot see my eyes
They give light to what's dark
I would no longer have a disguise

They would show you pain
The type I could never share
Allowing vulnerability to blossom
Life is not fair

I remain silent
My words always reveal so much
The pain would surface
Showing how regret is a crutch

To share deep within
Always a risk
Allowing all flaws to peak out
How I cannot be fixed

I will keep this mask
I can't have you lost in my eyes
You would crawl in my skin
I'd have to confide

Here I am safe
I am surrounded by walls
In control of what is seen
As I crumble to fall
LuLu Apr 2015
Cried out eyes
Haunted by dreams
Even when awake
Inside I scream

An echo through my mind
Tormented, I weep
The pain so excruciating
The secrets I keep

Darkness surrounds me
Taking my breath away
Somehow this life
Has lead me astray

My wrists bleed to just feel
The blood covers the floor
I have sewn them closed
Continuing to fight this war

Regrets have consumed me
My heart cries in vain
My mind is the enemy
Thirteen million miles from sane

This is the real me
I have hidden so deep
I have shed my skin
I struggled so hard to keep

Alone in the dark
Depression has eaten me alive
Anxiety its partner
I don't think I'll survive

Look past my facade
I am broken within
This cancer has forsaken me
I am too weakened to win
LuLu Apr 2015
Do you know how it feels
Could you really know what it's like
To be verbally abused
To have words cut like a knife

Have you ever felt the fury
Having been punched or slapped
Simply because someone could
Then look into your eyes and laugh

Have you ever been the quiet one
Always a bit different than the rest
Trying each day to just make it through
Have you ever been an outcast because of how you dress

Have you even been to small
Maybe you are the one they feel is too big
Their words and actions bring you to a breaking point
Have you ever made someone feel they no longer wanted to live

At this very moment
Another child has taken their life
Another bully is destroying someones spirit
When they are done there is another close behind

Have you been the one to take the abuse
Maybe the one that looks the other way
You could be the one that does the damage
Just know these are memories that will never fade

If we all could just think before we act
Try to feel what our actions can inflict
For a moment, try to step into the shoes of another
Maybe then some of this torment would not exist

There are the bullies of the internet
Sometimes there are many who will band as one
Never thinking or caring
How destructive words can become

Could you be that one person to shout its wrong
To stop a punch before it hits
To stand tall against those who bully
To be that one person who resists
First off, if you are reading this thank you. I wrote this for a friend who is going through a very rough time. She is a young writer and has decided to take what is so painful in her life and do a project for school with it. She asked if I would contribute. This is what I wrote. She is very strong, her pen is her voice. Mine has always been as well......
LuLu Apr 2015
A silence that deafens
Echoes through the chill of the night
A single rose without meaning
Her petals wither and die

Lyrics without music
Screaming to sing for the song
Quietly it stumbles
Never recovering from the fall

A heart that is broken
Cries through the darkest of days
For without love, it is frozen
Into the abyss it shall fade

Those who lack faith
Can never see the silver lining of the cloud
They fall from grace without warning
Their spirits never to be found

Find something to believe in
This world is far too cold to be alone
Don't be a lion without courage
For your sins, you can always atone
LuLu Apr 2015
This dark and frigid road
Is paved with broken dreams
Always I bare the struggle
Life never what it seems

A wildflower
Growing so lush
My love is not tamed
It's always in a rush

The first winter snow
Always so pure
It blankets my surroundings
Will love endure

Believing love is enough
Feeling it will always last
Diving in heart first
Then falling just as fast

Barely catching my breath
No longer feeling sane
Broken and used
I can't do this again

I look for enemies
The guiltiest goes by my name
Tearing me down
In a puddle of shame

My soul so weakened
This ache  won't subside
The heart always unstable
Has it finally died

Ugliness consumes me
Showering dark to my days
As I bring to life my own suffering
As I wallow in my ways

Standing all alone
It is always my fate
I search for answers
Does love really hate

Indignity follows
It's become a second skin
With nowhere to hide
So much damage within

God only knows
This love I try so hard to attain
Is always just out of my grasp
I am left  alone with my pain
LuLu Apr 2015
Softest whispers in my ear
Delights have left me weak
Your touch confines me
Deep within I long to please

Slowly dancing cheek to cheek
Feeling each move that we make
I am  surrounded with your desire
All inhabitants I forsake

Each taste of my skin
My heart begins to pound
Each nerve has awakened
As we fall in unison to the ground

Eager and wet lips
Are burning in my soul
Slowly hands glide past my hips
I have relinquished all control

As our heated bodies align
An intimacy that clearly speaks
Exploring each inch of bare flesh
Hungry for all that our lips do seek

Falling eagerly into you
I share all that defines what is me
A need to give you all that  I behold
This is the only place I long to be

A soft sernade can be heard
As each ****** is drowned in delight
Our rivers join together as one
There isn't anything that has ever felt so right

Drenched bodies slowly breathe
As we revel in our bliss
Through the night our dance, we repeat
As we are devoured within our kiss
LuLu Apr 2015
In the darkness I am free
I no longer dwell within the light
A fractured existence left for me
There is no relief in sight

Bury what you feel
Deep inside my soul
Keep far away from me  
Pain eats you whole

I cannot breathe
Deep within my core
Love is never what it seems
Always tainted never pure

If you have love for me
Don't ever let me know
I've surrendered to the dark
I have nothing left to show

Leave me in my hell
I can't be who you are
My heart ripped from my chest
All that was sacred torn apart

I still see your face
It is imprinted with my soul
Your breath gave me life
Till the day you let us go

My fingers trace your place in bed
I always remember how you felt
Your lips so bittersweet
Was it worth the hand it dealt

Just walk, no run away
Your words I can no longer bare
You just gave up on us
You can't love if you don't care

How wrong it all  can be
You are still in my life
Id love to be your misery
To cut you  like a knife

Cry your tears of sorrow
Against my hardened heart
You never cared at all
You were lethal from the start
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