I never knew or thought or felt like
my body was eternal like a cloud
I held my hand in my hand and waved sloppily

I am beating a drum hard as a heart
or like soft tissue perhaps that you
wrap around a vein or something
I am skinborn and boneborn and hairborn

Just water and air I guess
lined up so I can look at  the
sky and wish it was below me
or within me

Kite-tongued or painted-lipped I thought
maybe my face my head was above my body
against ice or seafoam like a pulse
but I held onto my teeth and nose and eyes for so long

Dagger-ribbed or bullet-spined
moving on a field of nothing
like a field of something while
while my matter is so simple and nothing

The land was a body.  Aching bones of mountains limned with boreal forest
       veined with iron.

Men dwelt on the body.  Erecting altars, howling and dancing round fires
        their patriarchal beards knotted and waving

Men killed on the body. Waving crude axes  like ancient trailblazers of war
Would wave mammoth club-like femurs

Bodies slay different bodies so they may die somewhere on this body
That heaves with the rock

I felt you today
Paddling in nothing
Between my neurons

Holding pain impulses
By the hand
Tugging them across

Was it for a badge?
A ribbon?
For cheap dharma?

It makes me sick to see
The bodies of women
I’m so Ensnared. So Enraptured
So Enthralled
by the bodies of women

My breath quickens. Chest
Tightens. Tightens. Tightens.
My eyes dart from what they want

I’m frightened to see
The bodies of women
I know I only need to hear a word
Or two
And I’d **** my obligations away

Oh
I could be so impulsive
If I only was given the chance