she watched
,
listened
...
but never spoke
she thought that by making herself invisible
she could stay away from it all
...
away from the lies
,
the truths
,
the sadness
and
the regret
...
she thought she was better off that way
-
she thought she was actually alive
soon
she grew so lonely
,
not even my company was enough
and i tried to tell her
"if no one can see you, your not really alive"
but she carried on
ignoring the signs
that told her stop
,
the signs that asked her
to leave the thoughts behind
,
the signs that told her
she needs to live
and i could feel the very moment
she began to doubt it all
...
the very moment she truly let go
-
after that
,
i knew i couldn't stop her
-
for it was all in her head
and her head chose to ignore her heart
...
to ignore me
.
i always thought that i could change her
but
then i met a wise old lady
who told me
"you cannot change someone, who doesn't want to be changed"
and it was hard for me to except at first
i just didn't understand
why she chose
death over life.
but as the year's went by
there wasn't a day where i wouldn't be thinking about it
...
about her
,
my dear friend
and it must have just clicked
because i finally understood
that i couldn't have saved her
nor could have anyone else
...
it was her choice
and that was that