We were never rivals
You learned about me later
But the choice was made
Long before it was vocalized
You were the obvious selection
I never stood a chance
It turned me inside out
Three words were met with two
And then with one
But now it's zero
And in the deafening silence
As I feel myself fade away
I have but one request
Take her to the moon, okay?

The stitches seemed so sturdy
Holding it all together
All was safely contained
No danger of spread or mess
All neatly packed away
No one worried about a fallout
The pieces had become just Peace
With no one wanting to undo it

One dream was all it took
Like a seam ripper in the night
Those stitches came unraveled
And all came tumbling out
The tears, the pain, the tortured silence
I guess that's why REM
Is the end of the world as I know it

The brothers may have said it best
You've lost that lovin feelin
But I've managed to convince myself
My own righteousness is why I stay

Every effort I make
Every swing I take
Misses the mark
And comes up empty

It still haunts me now and then
Some nights far more than others
Opportunities foresaken
Yesterday's regrets last to today

I know I'm far from perfect
And I've never claimed otherwise
But with my persistent imperfection
Seems that I fall short in your eyes

Your heart gives so much
For your friends and family
But I'm always left to question
How much is left for me?

Memories are fickle things
They seem to love to torture
When you desperately just want to forget
Seems memory's fruitage is an orchard

They can seemingly come from anywhere
But they don't need to be regretted
They should still be remembered fondly
Not bemoaned, erased, or fretted

Because if memories were cheating
No one could be loyal
Just because something comes to mind
Doesn't mean your love is foiled

You can smell a smell or see a sight
Even hear a familiar tune
But none of thats a problem
Because he will still love you

So don't hate yourself for your memories
Your love's no passing fad
You can still be loyal to each other
And be grateful for what we had

You said goodbye
Like it would be a grenade in my heart
Waited for the bang
Not realizing I had let go from the start
You thought it would be better
If we were to stay here, both worlds apart
You said goodbye
But the horse had not been put before the cart

You wanted a reaction
You wanted me to cry
You wanted me to cling
Instead I wanted you to fly
You wanted to be justified
For walking away one final time
But instead what you got
Was a mind accusing you of crime

You said "no more"
Not in three months
Or even four
But what you missed
And what I tried to say
Is that I know you need to go
And I didn't think you should stay

You said goodbye
Like it would be a grenade in my heart
Waited for the bang
Not realizing I had let go from the start
You thought it would be better
If we were to stay here, both worlds apart
You said goodbye
But the horse had not been put before the cart

It finally makes sense
You and him
No longer haunt me
The desperation is gone
The void is filled
And the wound is healed
The digging has stopped
The music is just music again
No one needs to understand
Because now I'm able
To stop the If Onlys
No tortured metaphors
No anguish in the back of my head
No longer in pieces
Now in peace

See the thrashing
The panic
Hear the cries
The screams
Know their drowning
With no help
Instinct engages
I dive in head first

The thrashing calms
Panic subsides
Less crying
Screams change to whispers
Support gives purpose
I hold on tight
Promising not to let go

Now cast aside
Once they can swim again
Alone in the expanse
Realizing their support
Kept me afloat
I feel myself begin to sink
Slipping beneath the waves

See the thrashing
The panic
Hear the cries
The screams
She knows I'm drowning
With no help
Instinct engages
She dives in head first

DON'T PERPETUATE THE CYCLE...

I know I made mistakes
And I know I should have been there more
I know you needed more
And I know I should have tried harder
I know you I should have told
And I know not saying cost us
I know that's all on me
And I know I don't deserve you
But if I ever get a second chance
I know it will be different

Somethings need no explanation
You see a word
You know it's spelt wrong
A letter out of place
You just know it

You may know nothing about music
Until a wrong chord is struck
One bad note
And no one has to tell you
You just know it

I came to know you
Beyond the person people see
There was nothing out of place
No wrong chord in my heart
The perfect imperfections
A true mountain leveled to a molehill
There were no words to explain
I just knew it

Turned away
Unable to withdraw
Turned towards
Unable to get close
Invisible forces in action
Unable to resist
Despite desperate intentions
Always unable
To resist your magnetism

The unknown fate of the caterpillar
Will it be butterfly or moth
Beauty or disgust
The caterpillar doesn't know
While it spins its cocoon
And begins its compulsory service
Waiting and waiting
To see what it becomes
At last the moment...
My bitterness emerges

The plastic bottle on the path
Begging to be picked up
Countless thousands ignore it
Leaving it for the next
To come along

Suddenly it's not ignored
A foot reaches out and kicks it
Surely this must be the moment
But then another kick
And then another,
The bottle is along for the ride

The path now ending
The daylight fading
The endless kicking seems to slow
But then a voice rings out
"I'll pick that up tomorrow"

The final goodbye
Its not a surprise
I pushed so hard
Saw it happening
Couldn't stop it
Loathed myself for it

The final goodbye
I thought would hurt more
But it feels self inflicted
Which took the sting
I already felt empty
Now it feels complete

The final goodbye
They say it's sweet sorrow
Why did I make it bitter
And the worst part is knowing
If I wound up back there
I couldn't help it a second time

-  Ludden Soss

Just keep digging
Keeping busy
Going deeper
Until the memories fade away

Just keep digging
Deeper still
Lower and lower
Convinced you can run away

Just keep digging
Until you find
The sudden truth
Her face will never go away

The wound is fresh
The pain so raw
Seems like it will never heal
As I cling to the thought
Of what might have been

As healing starts
Panic replaces pain
Scrambling to pick the scab
To feel the blood flow
The wound is fresh again

It keeps trying to heal
But I'm afraid to forget
To let go of the hurt
I need it be raw
The wound begins to scar

Time heals all wounds
I hear thats what they say
Why can't I let time
Heal what's wrong with me
The wound is all I have left of you

She's so high
Higher
I fall to pieces
Crawling
Hanging by a moment
Its the end of the world as we know it

I miss you
In the end
A last resort
Nothing to lose
A lonely day
Its been a while
I'm in too deep

I stand alone
Lost
In the meantime
The last fight
The final countdown
No more sorrow
Nobody's listening

One step closer
One last breath
One week
Only happy when it rains
It's how you remind me
But I'm rusted from the rain
Sad but true

Say something
Send the pain below
Shake it out
Smile and wave
Somewhere out there
The sound of madness
Let it be

-  Ludden Soss

Looking into the void
Trying to find hope

Looking into the void
Trying to find promise

Looking into void
Trying to find happiness

Looking into the void
But you weren't there anymore

Let it go
Get over it
Life moves on
The words echo
From all corners of the world
No one ever understands

Just need to open up
To ask for help
But even when they listen
From behind judgemental eyes
No one ever understands

Every time a door closes
They say another opens
But lately they just slam shut
No one ever understands

I'm dying of thirst
In an ocean of salt water
No one ever understands

Will this self pity ever end
No one ever understands

No one ever understands

-  Ludden Soss

Please make it stop
The hurt
The pain
The thoughts
The loss
The emotion
The tears

She doesn't deserve
The words
The torment
The blame
The guilt
The stress
The anguish

I promised there would be
No anger
No resentment
No hatred
No pressure
No expectations
No sadness

But it won't stop.  
The verses keep coming
In my heart I know
I've kept my promises
Though I know it doesn't seem it

-  Ludden Soss

Never seen
Yet can't unsee
Burning in my mind
Searing in my brain
The image of you and him

Its a punch in the gut
My breath gone
No air left for me to gasp
Just this sickening thought
The image of you and him

I said those three words
Yet my heart sank when I saw
The look on your face
It was even worse than
The image of you and him

The harder I try
The more I push you away
But I can't be aloof
So what will I be left with?
The image of you and him

The effort so intense
Would be worth every second
But instead I'm exhausted
Close my eyes only to see
The image of you and him

Never seen
But can't unsee
The image of you and him

-  Ludden Soss

Hot water freezes faster than cold
Wearing layers in the heat keeps you cool
Hummingbirds are the most aggressive bird
Sometimes life doesn't make sense

There are seashell fossils on mountain tops
On Venus, a day is longer than a year
Your head ages slightly faster than your feet
Sometimes life doesn't make sense

I know I'm not perfect
And neither are we
But together we could have been
Because
Sometimes life just doesn't make sense

But what is sense
When you stop to think
A spiral like that
Could drive you to drink

You can rationalize,
Justify,
Make recompense...
But sometimes life just doesn't make sense

-  Ludden Soss

I was flying high
Far above the rest
Loving the feeling
The feeling of Freedom
But then reality made me realize
That men are not supposed to fly

We're not supposed to fly
And we're not supposed to cry
Now it feels my hearts about to die
For men are not supposed to fly

Now the wind is gone
Vanished from beneath me
As I begin to fall
I now can see
That men are not supposed to fly

We're not supposed to fly
And we're not supposed to cry
Now it feels my hearts about to die
For men are not supposed to fly

I want to grow wings
And get the feeling back
So I can soar high once again
But again reality sets in
That men are not supposed to fly

We're not supposed to fly
And we're not supposed to cry
Now it feels my hearts about to die
For men are not supposed to fly

-  Ludden Soss