The wicked games you played with my heart
were never love—just shadows in the dark.
You dimmed my light,
hoping I’d shrink,
but I rose anyway—
even when I couldn’t think.

I loved you like my weather,
even when the skies turned gray.
I believed in your storms,
stood in the rain,
thinking maybe you'd wash the pain away.

But you didn’t.

You broke me.
Bent me.
Left me bruised in silence.
But I became a mother—
not out of pain,
but defiance.

You made me grace
in the shape of a woman
who’d rather be broken
than let her babies feel abandoned.

I sacrificed dreams
so they’d never lose sleep.
I held the weight of the world
and still found strength
to speak—

Even now.

You lie in courts,
twist truths like vines,
but you can’t erase the footsteps
that were always mine.
I was there,
when you weren't.
I gave love,
when you burnt
every bridge,
every chance,
and still,
I danced
in the fire of your absence.

You keep my daughter
like a weapon,
but I won’t raise war—
my love’s not for show,
it’s rooted in more.

No hate lives here.
Only sorrow that you lost your way.
But I—
I never left.
I never strayed.

Even when you only came in the night,
strung out and searching,
I stayed soft,
I stayed right.

Because my heart?
It don’t close.
It’s a safe place
for broken souls to grow.

But don’t mistake my love for weakness.
Don’t confuse my grace for fear.
Nothing stands in my way—
not lies,
not time,
not even you, my dear.

We had a bond, but it was never real love
You dressed like peace, but you came with a grudge
Had me dancing in the dark, heart cold to the touch

You was there when they left, yeah, you slid in slick
Held my pain like a blade, yeah, you cut real quick
Had my mind on pause, but my soul on trip
Every hit was a promise that you’d never commit

Told me I’d be fly, but I just fell harder
Played me like a deck, now I’m just smarter
I was just a daughter tryna make it out the slaughter
But you had me chasing highs that only made me darker

I fed you my youth, my light, my flame
And you fed me back guilt, scars, and shame
I gave you my nights, my lungs, my name
Now I’m writing this goodbye, ain’t playin’ your game

You ain’t no friend, you a thief in disguise
But I found God, and He opened my eyes
Now I walk clean, don’t need your lies
This is farewell, I’m done with the highs
You ain’t got no hold on me
You took my breath, but not my destiny
I walked through fire, now I finally see
You never gave love, just a fake remedy
So this my goodbye, don’t write, don’t call
I rose from the pit, I survived it all
Was down on my knees, now I’m standin’ tall
Yeah, you had me once — but you won’t make me fall
You had me strung out, but I strung these rhymes
Turned pain into power, now I’m speakin’ in lines
Every hit was a chain, every come-down a crime
But I broke them all off — now the healing is mine

You ain’t welcome in my crib, in my head, in my blood
Had me drownin’ in a drought, chasin’ fake love
You ain’t family, you poison — dressed in a hug
Told me you’d help, but you just dug the plug

Now I see kids with eyes like mine
Hurt young queens tryna stop the time
And I tell ‘em: “Baby girl, your light still shines
Don’t let them shadows rewrite your lines.”

‘Cause I’m proof — the lost can come back found
Even when hope buried deep in the ground
I done danced with demons, been hell-bound
But now I got angels walkin’ all around
I seen girls trade dreams for a line on the sink
Seen brothers go ghost over one lil’ drink
They don’t tell you ‘bout the shakes, the cold, the brink
Just the numb, not the fall when you can’t even think

I was her — the girl with the scars on her wrist
Starin’ at the sky like, “God, does Heaven exist?”
Couldn’t look in the mirror, ‘cause I’d flinch at the glimpse
A soul full of cracks from every hit I missed

But now I speak truth with these lungs you tried to steal
And every rhyme I spit is another layer healed
I walk in my purpose, even if it’s uphill
‘Cause the devil had a grip, but God signed the deal

Now I mother six with a warrior’s grace
Still got flashbacks, still remember the taste
But I don’t chase death — I chase faith
And that’s something no substance can ever replace

I ain’t just survived — I was reborn in the storm
From the ashes of a girl, a lioness was formed
I carry babies on hips, truth in my palm
Sing lullabies with lungs that used to self-harm

I bled on floors nobody cleaned
Prayed to a God nobody seen
But He heard every cry through the smoke and the screams
And gave me a crown built from broken dreams

Now I stand for my kids — heart stitched and raw
A mother so fierce, even death hit pause
They could bury my body, but never my cause
Love lives in my name, and it breaks every law

So dear drugs — you lost me for good
I’d die for my babies the way real mommas should
But I didn’t die — I rose like I knew I would
With fire in my chest and a new kind of motherhood

I didn’t break — I bent so far, I snapped in secret.
Smiled through hell with mascara bleeding,
Made peace with demons just to feel needed.
They loved me best when I was self-defeated.

The mirror don’t lie, it just don’t care.
It watched me spiral, then dared me to stare.
I chased heaven in a bottle,
Crushed my worth inside a pill,
Told myself I had control
While crashing harder still.

He said I was crazy — I made that a crown.
Took every "too much" and burned this town.
But the silence screamed louder than any fight,
And the ones who “loved” me
Only came at night.

I wrote apologies in blood and smoke,
A lullaby for every hope I choked.
But the truth?
I was never broken.
Just wide awake in a world still frozen.

Now I’m falling in reverse —
Unlearning the lies.
Rewinding the damage,
Reviving what died.
I’m not the ashes you brushed off your shirt,
I’m the match that learned how to burn without hurt.

This isn’t revenge.
It’s resurrection.
It’s chaos with direction.
It’s every “never” I turned to “now.”
Watch me rise —
I forgot how.

So if I fall again, I’ll do it like thunder,
Loud. Ugly. Beautiful.
Ripping worlds asunder.

Because falling in reverse —
Ain’t falling at all.
It’s how the shattered girl
Learns to stand tall.

Sometimes it’s too dark to tell what’s real

I wake up numb, forget how to feel.
It’s not just the night, it’s the weight in my chest,
The constant war that gives me no rest.
I try to breathe, but the air turns cold,
Try to be brave, but I feel too old
Like the pieces of me that used to fight
Got lost somewhere between wrong and right.
They say, “Just walk toward the light, you’ll see,”
But the light feels like it’s hiding from me.
Each step forward is a mountain climb,
And sometimes I just don’t have the time

Or the strength. Or the will. Or the fight in my veins.
I’m tired of dancing in acid rain.
I scream in silence, pray through the tears,
But God feels distant , blurred by my fears.
I wonder if healing is even for me,
Or if I’m meant to drown quietly.
Still, something inside won’t fully let go.
A whisper. A flicker. A half-buried glow.
It’s not quite hope, but it’s not quite gone

Some part of me still wants to hold on.
I carry this pain like a second skin,
But maybe—just maybe—I’ll rise again.
Not today. Maybe not even soon.
But someday, I’ll step out from under this moon.
Because even in ruin, I still exist,
And that, somehow, feels like resistance

Don’t Fumble What’s Meant

You’ve been handed a position, a gift, a chance,
To stand beside a woman who’s built to advance.
I’m more than worthy, a dream come alive,
A force that grows stronger, determined to thrive.

I’ve walked through fire, healed from pain,
Found faith in the storm, and danced in the rain.
I’ve built a foundation on God and His plan,
A family-oriented, faith-led woman who stands.

This steam I’m building, it’s just the start,
Fueled by purpose, driven by heart.
So don’t catch me just to hold me still,
I’m destined to climb, to conquer, to build.

If you step up, be ready to lead,
To match my strength, my focus, my speed.
I’m not for the weak or the faint of heart,
I’m a woman of vision, playing my part.

So handle this gift with honor and care,
Because what I offer is rare and fair.
If you fumble the chance, just know it’s true—
I’m unstoppable, with or without you.