What is time?
To me, it’s nights that stretch too long,
days that blur together,
me watching clocks tick
while my babies dream of tomorrows
I ain’t even sure I can promise.

What is self?
It’s me
a girl the streets tried to swallow,
a momma the world tried to count out,
a soul still searching,
still writing poems in the dark
like I’m praying out loud.

What is love?
Not the fairy tale,
but the raw kind
when you’re broke, when you’re tired,
when the fridge empty but you still cook up hope
like it’s the only meal left.

And what is waiting?
It’s me,
always holding the pen,
wondering if the next chapter writes itself
or if I gotta bleed the ink again.
Patience ain’t weakness
it’s the grind, it’s survival,
it’s the proof that even standing still
I’m still moving.

I ask life questions,
and it don’t answer straight
just throws me mirrors,
shows me a woman
who’s both the wound and the healer,
both the prayer and the reason to pray.

So yeah,
I’m patiently waiting,
but don’t get it twisted
I’m not waiting for saving.
I’m waiting for the moment
the world sees what I already know:
This story don’t move without me.

I’m stuck in my solitude,
but maybe that’s where I’m meant to be.
No fake smiles, no noise, no masks
just me versus me.

I replay my scars like reruns,
wondering how many times I’ll fall for the same scene.
People think strength means you never break,
but strength is breaking
and still showing up anyway.

I light up and watch the smoke curl,
it feels freer than me
floating, rising, disappearing into the air
while I stay heavy,
chained to memories that won’t let me go.

I miss voices I shouldn’t miss,
I crave peace I’ve never known.
My solitude holds me hostage,
but it also teaches me
about patience, about faith,
about how empty can feel like rebirth
if I sit with it long enough.

I whisper prayers nobody hears,
not even me sometimes.
But I know God’s listening,
because He gave me this silence,
not to punish me,
but to prepare me.

And maybe this is just the in-between
a pause,
a lesson,
a waiting room for the life I haven’t lived yet.

So I sit with it,
even when it hurts,
even when it’s loud inside my head,
because solitude might be the only place
I finally learn who I am.

A gangster paradise behind closed eyes,
blood-red sunsets, shadowed lies.
Right beside Quinzel’s ocean eyes,
a storm brews quiet, where danger flies.

Cobblestone streets in my mind’s back alley,
whispers of deals that ended badly.
Neon flickers on walls of sin,
every heartbeat a gamble, every breath a spin.

Her eyes, deep oceans hiding war,
pull me under, I can’t ignore.
Velvet venom in a tender glance,
a love so sharp it leaves no chance.

We dance on edges, knives for shoes,
smoke and secrets, nothing to lose.
In that paradise, the angels flee,
only ghosts and shadows keep company with me.

Every kiss a confession of crime,
every touch a theft of time.
Behind closed eyes, the city bleeds,
and beside her ocean, my darkness feeds.

2 AM and I’m here, hell yeah I’m awake,
mind racing faster than the world can shake.
Coffee cold, blunt lit, kids snoring louder
but me? I’m scribbling truths, no filter, all factors

I laugh at the chaos, I cry in my chest,
I’m a momma, a queen, I don’t settle for less.
The streets taught me lessons, God gave me grace,
and I carry my crown, even in this messy space.

I think about lies, snakes, and the Fakes ,
about angels sent disguised as push not a shove
I curse, I thank, I plan, I pray,
I survive every night, every single day.

I’m fire and ice, heartbreak and gold,
a story unfinished, untamed, uncontrolled.
And when the world tries to count me out?
I just write my truth, spit my rage, scream my doubt. Spark this blunt then finish nodding out


Jennie J in the notebook, soul on display,
2 AM confessions in my own bold way.
I ain’t perfect, I ain’t quiet, but Im All The Sauceeeee babieeeeee .
I’m the chaos, the calm, the battle, the sun.

You can’t move a heart like mine,
Your words only expose your weakness, not my design.
I let my actions speak , louder than your noise,
I walk it, I breathe it, I don’t move like the boys.

Don’t drag my name through the mud,
I’ll wade knee-deep, protecting mine with blood.
I’m a momma, lion-born, guarding my den,
Spin your lies elsewhere, I’ll never bend.

That pookie-pipe talk? Keep it in the gutter,
I’m the real Quinzel, voice sharp as a cutter.
Didn’t you know? Joker don’t play,
Even in solitude, real ones carve the way.

Behind bars, only truth survives the fight,
I’ve seen “real hitters” vanish out of sight.
So when you whisper, better check that tongue
I’m legacy, iron-made, too heavy to be swung.

I’m scars and survival stitched into my skin,
What you call the end is where I begin.
I don’t fear your shade, I don’t flinch at your hate,
I move with a purpose, I’m led by faith.

So write your stories, but remember this fact:
A queen with a backbone can’t ever be cracked.
You can fake your crown, but mine is divine
And you’ll never move a heart like mine.

I will always fight for you.
Your father’s war will never dim the light in my arms,
never touch the truth of my love.

If I have to stand toe-to-toe with the devil himself,
I hope he’s ready
because I’ll run through hell with nothing but water guns,
laughing in his face,
just to bring you home again.

I’ll rip open the dark,
tear down the lies,
and chase away the monsters
that live inside your daddy’s head
the ones he never asked for,
the ones I’ll never let near you.

You are my heartbeat,
my reason to keep my fists clenched and my faith steady.
No matter what battles I face,
I’ll keep walking through fire,
through storms,
through shadows,
until you’re safe in my arms again.

Because you are my little girls,
and the world will learn
Mommy’s love is louder than any war.

Six years. Six whole years of you
Two little hearts inside your nose,
And I’ve always said it’s because
Mommy and daddy’s love was too strong to hold in one.

You were my miracle before you took your first breath,
And every second since, I’ve fought like hell to keep you safe.
They don’t see the nights I stayed awake,
The tears I swallowed when they tried to take you away
But baby, you’re woven into me,
In every beat of my heart, in every prayer I whisper when I think no one’s listening.

They try to lie on paper like it can rewrite our story,
Like it can erase the bond that time and pain made unbreakable.
But those two little hearts you carry?
They are the proof
the purest kind of love
A love no distance, no silence, no fight can touch.

You are my light when the world feels dark,
My breath when I feel like breaking,
My hope when every door closes.
I want you to know
No matter what they say, no matter what they do
I am here. I am yours.

Forever.

And I will fight
With every scar, every tear, every sleepless night
To hold you close, to keep you safe,
To be the mother you deserve.

My Lilliann Mariee, my baby, my fight,
You are the part of me that will never break.