I feel the source of creation inside of me

I expand with every uninhibited inhalation

I contract with every exalted exhalation


The observer -

Ordered masses each doing that which is its prescribed duty

Driving forward and ever expanding -
Exerting dominion over all

Rejoicing the adoration of all who look upon its beauty

Et cetera
Et cetera
Ad infinitum
So mote it be

The birds of the South American jungle carry seeds to Norwegian fjords whose scent floats on wind to Australian plains whose creatures sing songs to which Californian redwoods dance to the admiration of Himalayan peaks who greet the birds on their return from where they came

I see standing before me a visage which I can not comprehend

Benevolent strength - awful power

I feel behind me his guardian - vestige of warriors

Grabbing my right wrist the pillar of justice - immutably unspoken

I hear to my left a roaring thunder which holds secrets none living may speak

I try to say the name and my tongue becomes a dagger

I drink from the waters of the Moroccan coast and they become dry

Pillars of salt rise before me

Irony

The cruel fate of thirst

To come to the place where it may be quelled and find only its first cause

In perpetuity

God is a lie

All is I

Health to those who seek

Health

To those who seek

An empire rises
It is built trading fetters and blood for gold

An empire falls
It is buried by an oilfield inside of a dismantled nuclear chassis

No gold to its name
Only fragments of promises
And lies
Fed to infants and children through play and flags and glowing screens and pledges of allegiance to dead concepts and gods who only love the people who spread their name and poison - literal poison that is the only source of sustenance for slave wage debt prisoners ******* at the **** of late stage consumerism betting every extra penny on fifteen minutes of fame sold to them by a man who built his name out of making things that say only that they are nothing and the raving somatic processes which stem from bleeding every other living being to get on top so you can scream from the top of a twisting metal skyscraper as it succumbs to the earth, “Look at me! I made it.” and the everyone who listens even though nobody really cares

Who grow to hate

Either

Everyone

Or

Themselves

As though we aren’t all pedants working fruitlessly to scratch our names onto anything that is still pure.

The eyes of my corpse are a shattered mirror.

I see in their reflection a hundred blue lipped hollow eyed refractions of the same moment.

This is it

Here - Now

The moment where timelines converge, forcing the universe to observe itself through me

Here,

Now splayed out lifeless and limp contorted to wrap around the patterns in the carpet whose million fibers reach out to embrace me as if to say

This is ok,

This is only here, now.

I am pulled through the floor into darkness.

I remember to breathe

And I awake.

The irony of spending a lifetime chasing oblivion only to cower in fear when confronted with its most pure form is not lost on me. I am a coward. I was always a coward searching blindly for something that makes sense, only to become lost on the far reaches of the inexplicable. Raging wildly against the mundane, only to to walk this same path that has so many times been trodden.

I am an ocean of single use plastic. A birds nest of cigarette filters. A sky of fuel emissions. I am the cell phone always by my side. A bell attached to my hospital bed. I know someone is always a button away. The foundation of my house a blemish on the earth. Clogged concrete pore poured so I may exist, proliferating infection. The soles of my shoes are rubber armor. Spare me from feeling anything that might be real. I am ****, I am ****, *****, dead skin cells, blood poured out in a bathroom sink. I am a messy bed, ***** clothes I am the never ending cycle of clean dishes. I am consumer. All I touch I need more of. All I touch I corrupt and make commodity of, make for market. I am an empire. I am imperialist for I saw and said nothing. As the planet was *****, humanity stripped of humanity. As people who looked like me and thought like me dictated the course of lives of those who did not. Therefore I am dictator.

Watch me - can you see it?
I'm decaying and the streets;
they're decaying
the buildings they’re decaying the poor; they're decaying the rich,
the rich are decaying the streets -
the streets they're decaying the hippies - punks all of them decaying
and the buildings;
your house it's decaying and your money,
your plastic cards the gold it's supposed to represent and the microchips that store the numbers that are supposed to represent how much of it is yours all decaying
and the oil reserves decaying the food supplies decaying
all of it.
Every single piece going back to where it came from but these words are just.
These ideas are just.
Just are.