It drips down my face,
Warm and wet.
Red pours from my wounds,
Salty, it slides past my lips
and drips onto the floor.

I would apologize for bleeding on your floor,
**but it is your fault.

I try so hard
to write beautiful poems,
to write happy poems.

I want so much
to seem happy,
to be okay.

I try so hard
to write happy poems
and yet, they're always fake.

With every breath,
You exhale fear.
With every gasp,
You inhale death.

It's one of those days
where stay in bed
and hide under the covers
because the world is
too cold to face today.

It's one of those days
where you hand pick
your play list to be
all the sad songs you own.

It's one of those days
where all you eat is
a cup of tea and a carrot,
because you'll throw up
if you eat anything else.

It's one of those days
where you can't listen
to the silence but
you aren't actually listening.

It's just one of those days.

It was all too easy,
The way you smiled,
Like a ray of light
breaking through the trees.

You brought shadows into light,
but it's just me again down here.
I wanted to give you glory,
but there was nothing you could do.

It was all too easy
to make you smile
that beautiful smile
and melt the ice in my heart.

They found her body;
At the bottom of the ravine.
Said she jumped in the night,
that she never looked back.

I wonder if anyone ever understood her,
I wonder if they even knew her.
Did they know she was hurting?

They did not care that she was gone.
They closed the case and called her dead,
A text book suicide, no victims remained.
Call the morgue and have her tagged.

I wonder if they knew,
About all those she hurt when
she died and left them behind.

Comfort the sobbing parents,
Watch her sibling misunderstand,
Send the family away,
And never think of her again.

Jealousy, what a nasty thing. I was asked to describe it.
Jealousy is when another little girl takes your doll. It's the first time you have a crush, and you see another kiss him on the playground. It's when you look at the other girls and compare yourself. You simply cannot stand to be in your own skin. You want, no, need to be them, to be like them, to be with them.
Jealousy is when you're never quite good enough. There's always that smart kid that shows you up in class, always someone with better grades. When you were almost valedictorian, but someone else got it by one fourth of grade point.
It's when you fall in love and you watch them walk away. It's never enough. The summer before college and your high school sweet heart is going out of state for college, and so are you, but somewhere else. You never thought you could be jealous of place.
It's when you're with your friends and they don't listen to you talk, and they don't notice when you no longer talk. When you're the one alone on the side walk.
Jealousy is your heart, slowly turning dark as the happiness of other peoples' lives dance by, because for you, nothing was ever good enough. Not even yourself.

Wake up, unplug the clock.
Get up too late,
skip a meal and hurry to leave.

A disappointed lecture,
a promise to do better.
Flip through the papers, forehead meets desk.

Leave for lunch.
Order nothing.
Stare at the blank wall with shadowy corners.

More papers, more flipping,
more disappointment.
Grab the keys, start the car, sigh to the empty seats.

Return to the empty room,
smile to no one, pretend to be happy.
Alone, go to bed, the cold blankets don't embrace like a lover.

Rewind and repeat this lugubrious existence.

Let me clear the air.
I am no poet.
I am not beautiful or tragic.
I'm just a girl.
A sad, angry person
Who has been at war with the world.
But all the same,
I'll get into mischief with you.

Oh god
Keep it together.
Can't breathe. Need to sit down.
Your friend is dead.
Can't breathe need to sit down can't breathe
Keep it together
He was hit by a train
Can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe
Keep it together
need to sit down can'tbreathecan'tbreathecan'tbreathe
*Keep it together

Today I was reminded to be kind to myself.
As I sat at my desk,
staring down my chemistry lab,
remembering my barely passed exam,
I was ******* myself,
the cruelest I could be.
Self doubt.
Maybe I can't do this.
What if I lose my scholarship?
Is this even worth it?
But it is okay to not be perfect.
It is human after all, to make mistakes.
So remember to be kind
to yourself most of all,
for you are cruelest
to your own passions and aspirations.
Don't **** your dreams because you fear failure.

I dreamt I married someone beautiful
and when I woke up,
I was still alone.
I'm afraid of that.

The glass tottered on the edge of the table.
Half full, half empty?
I don't know.
But I let it fall.
However full it was,
It's in the floor now
And littered with shards of glass.

Please just lie to me.
Tell me everything is going to be okay.
Tell me that you don't know I'm broken.
Tell me that you understand.
Tell me that it's okay to not be okay.
Tell me to believe in people.
Tell me that the world is lovely.
Tell me that I haven't misplaced my trust.
Tell me that humanity is beautiful.
Tell me that life is worth it.
Tell me that you love me.
Please, just lie.

Hands held too tight
Eyes too damp
Voices too loud
Happiness too great
Sadness too strong
Music too beautiful
Words too long
Fear too strong
Ambition too high
By the time you read this,
I'm too far gone.
This is what we call life.
A world of too many's
That make something beautiful
And something terrible.

Your tears taste like vinegar;
bitter, angry, unforgiving.
Stare into the fire,
the dancing flame,
the warmth on chilled skin.
Reach out for it,
but never touch.
How did I become such a monster?
I didn't meet her until
the day she died.
I never understood:
This was living;
damaged, empty, alone,
but this was living.

She was the kind of girl
who breathed life in her kiss
and lit a fire in my spine.
She gambled with death
and won my life.
I'm a bit afraid of her,
But now I can never die
for her grip on my soul is too tight.

We need some light.
The morning sun,
the breaking dawn.
Midday warmth
and basking in the sun.
The setting sun,
the dying light.
We need some light
to see the truth.

You make me feel
like I've been
struck by lightening.
Heart stop
Electrify
I can feel my veins burning.
Coursing through my bones
I can't tell if it hurts or tingles.

You called me empty,
but all the thoughts in my head
couldn't fill your heart.

Lilacs were always my favorite flower.
The flower of my childhood.
The purple stars bloomed in the briar of my backyard.
Fragrant and light, Violet in color,
I would skip around the beautiful colors.
They say they stand for youthful innocence.
What a shame that flowers and I can no longer relate,
For my innocence is long gone,
And my youth is fading fast.
The funny thing is,
The color, lilac,
Used to be a color of mourning.

Be brave, my dear.
When the world comes
crashing down,
I'll hold your hand.
You can cry on my shoulder,
I've seen far worse in this life.
I will stay strong for you,
For I would never allow
you to see the lion fear.
Life may be stained with my blood,
but not a soul will see my tears,
Nor taste the salt of my pain.

I get a little sad,
at little times,
over little things.

Little things like my friends
ignoring me and talking over me.

Little things like being alone
in a room full of people.

Sometimes it's the little things,
that make me smile on
the darkest days, waking me
from my sleepy stupor.

Little things like someone
who holds the door.

Little things like sharing
a smile with a stranger.

It's the little things
that mean the most
in this little, cruel world.
This little blue dot.

You know those thoughts.
The thoughts that creep in
when you let your guard down.

"They don't like me."
"I'm so fat."
"I can't do this."

These little thoughts I try to forget
But it's two am and they're back
Because they won't stay away forever.

"They weren't really my friends"
"I wish they would talk to me."
"I hate this. I hate myself."

I'm going to assume you had a mother,
as so many do.
You might even have a sister.
One day, you'll be a father.
It might be a daughter.

I'm someone's daughter.
Don't you understand?
I'm not just an object.
How would you feel,
if someone did this to your daughter
or mother or sister or friend?

Sometimes,
lots of times,
I look back.

I fear I will turn to salt
like the taste of tears
reaching your lips.

I can't help it,
to turn back and look
it's human nature.

What do I look back at?

the good times
the bad times
lots of times

I'm different now
not bad not good not (yet) salt
just different.

She used to talk, and talk,
A story teller for the ages.
She would chatter and smile,
It enchanted people.

But slowly, she fell silent.
One day she noticed, no one listened.
So why should she talk,
When no one cared what she has to say?

She stopped speaking all together,
Yet no one seemed to notice.
The silence killed her, the stories choked her,
And when they found her hanging, they didn't understand.

Her note asked them why,
Why had they stopped listening?
She would never speak again,
And their care came too late.

He held out his hand to me,
but when I reached for his support,
he let me fall.
He looked at me
eyes so cold,
his voice sharp, wounding
"I'm not here to help you."

I could tell by the way
that she ran her hands
across her own skin
that she hated herself.

The way she stared
sadly into the empty space
That girl would never
love herself enough.

But she never gave herself
time to learn how to love.
Dead by her eighteenth birthday,
no one ever claimed her.

Whether it was the drugs
and alcohol and sickness
or her own hatred that killed her,
I will never know.

His smile had such a gentle glow,
His eyes shined so softly when he laughed.
Gentle, his touch was a feather,
and he never touched me without asking,
Not even my shoulder or hand.
He understood me, my fears, my pain.
He was my pearl, a beauty in this gritty world.
He's gone and left me
and I don't know what to do.
My pearl has lost it's luster,
The life and the glow faded from him.
It's not too late.
He brought pulled me back from the precipice,
I will bring back his shine.

"I cannot remember the last time I loved the girl in my bed,"
He said to me one day while I was dreaming.
I opened my eyes and looked out the window,
Jumping from one dream to another,
But then, I blinked and looked back at him,
My dreams shattering around me,
For I was his wife, and always the girl in his bed.

Remember that you must die.
Do you know that?
Everyone dies,
you should know that.
Life does not go on,
It ends.
It's sad, for some,
But true all the same.
Remember to die, my friend.
You cannot live forever.