Lost in between the pages again.
Just like all the days before today.
In between the words and the lines is everything,
And that’s where I get my biggest fix.
When I lose myself like this,
I become another person,
And live another life,
And teleport into another universe,
Where reality doesn’t exist.
All what’s real is the page and the story.
My personal escape.
My personal refuge.
On my shelves are a thousand worlds and a thousand lives,
And I’ve explored them all and lived them all,
And they’re mine to explore and live again.
Some are fiction and some are non,
But all are wondrous, glorious things.
How amazing is it,
That I can pick up a single item,
And be transported to another time and place,
And see things from another point of view?
I am worldly.
I am traveled.
I have been everywhere,
From the comfort of my chair,
Or my bed.
I have loved and lost.
I have been a warrior and a royalty.
I have been man, woman and child.
I have walked in the shoes of a thousand beings,
And learned from their journey.
Yes, this is my escape,
My pleasure,
And my passion.
I am a ****** for the written word.
I need my literature fix.
Pass me a book,
For there are volumes waiting to be read,
And I won’t stop until I’m blind or dead.

In the grips of the monster again.
He lurks inside the darkness within.
Sometimes he’s dormant, sleeping so sound.
Then he rears his head and drags me right down.
It feels like I’m drowning and cannot breathe,
And I’m fighting for something, a little reprieve,
But the monster he holds me within his clutch.
I try to break free, but stay locked in his touch.

When I’m his slave, nothing can be done,
To shed light on my world, not even the sun.
Engulfed in the darkness, consumed by the night.
It feels no one can save me from this dreary plight,
So I shut the world out and shut myself in,
For the monster’s dwelling inside my skin,
And he holds he down and drains me of tears,
While feeding my insecurities and fears.

He comes out of hiding and decides to play.
These are the scariest of all of my days.
He makes it impossible for me to live life,
And fills my soul with indescribable strife.
I can’t face the day and can’t face myself.
Yes, the monster gets pleasure out of this hell,
And try as I might I cannot escape,
For this is my life and this is my fate.

How can you run from what hides inside?
You can’t so instead I just choose to hide.
Hide from the world since I can’t hide from me,
And I never can tell where the monster will be.
In my heart or my brain or maybe my soul,
Or maybe he’ll take over me as a whole.
That’s what I fear most for that can’t be escaped.
The monster will destroy all in its wake.

So I fight to control the monster within.
Sometimes I lose and sometimes I win,
But the war’s never over for the monster inside,
And it will not be over until the day that I die.
I will fight and I’ll struggle and I’ll own this war,
And in the end I’ll know what it’s all for,
But one thing’s for sure this monster’s my own.
He is my enemy and I am his home.

We are the forgotten, the lost, and the rejects.
The ones who give love, but love always neglects,
And we are cast aside, but not without no effects.
Our souls are dying with no one to pay respects.

We are the invisible, the laughable, the misfits.
Not without our scars caused by all our critics.
It will **** some who become just a statistic.
That won’t stop the ones wanting to crush spirits.

We are the jokes, the gossip, and the rumors.
The ones who give you fuel for all your pointless humor.
The ones that get treated like cancerous tumors.
Wishing you’d have gotten rid of us sooner.

We are the options that you place on a back burner,
There when you need us, but you’re not a quick learner,
And we don’t have it in us to be any sterner,
So we will continue to allow you to be a spurner.

We are the geeks, the freaks and the nerds.
The ones who get hurt by all your ****** words.
You question our lives and even our worth,
But the geeks are the ones who shall inherit the earth.

Surrounded and drowning.
What will they think?
Are they laughing at me?
Again, will I sink?
Sweating and thinking,
Can’t stop my mind’s pace.
I try to keep running,
From my thoughts constant race,
But the laughter seeps in,
And the tears seep out,
And all I can think,
Is don’t scream, don’t shout.
It’ll soon be over.
Surely they’ll leave.
Then I’ll be alone.
I’ve got to believe.
I feel like the joke,
That no one will get,
Like the person who’s so easy,
To leave and forget.
Avoid the big crowds,
For that’s not your scene.
They won’t understand,
How you’re stuck in between.
They’ll point and they’ll laugh,
Or that’s how it’ll feel.
Who knows what’s imagined,
And what’s actually real?
Just stay home,
With your cats and your books.
Avoid all the judgment,
The harsh words and looks.
Don’t deal with nerves,
The people, the fear.
Just avoid it all,
And stay right here.

Remember me?
I was the one who was there for you,
When you were down and out,
Lonely and sad,
Or really angry.
I was the one who gave you a shoulder to cry on,
A hug whenever you needed one,
Or just a companion.
I was the one who took you out of your shell,
And helped you fight your fears.
I was the one who believed in you,
Supported you,
Loved you,
And helped you up when you fell.
I encouraged you,
When you felt you were at your worst.
I did everything in my power,
To make you smile,
Make you laugh,
Cheer you up,
And help you out.

Do you remember me,
Or have you forgotten already?
Did you forget all the years we spent together?
Did you lose sight of the friendship we had?
What happened?
Why did you quit caring?
Why did you quit being there?
Where did you go?
What’s so important
That you can’t even make a little time for me?
You said you’d always be there.
You said you’d always care.
You said you’d always be my friend,
But where are you now?
In your own little world,
Absorbed in you,
So you forgot all about me.

Do you remember me?
Do remember all that I gave of myself?
Do you recall all that I’ve done for you?
Do you remember the lifetime of memories?
Well, I hope you don’t one day need me,
Because I can’t wait forever,
And I can no longer be a friend
To someone who doesn’t return the favor.
I hope you don’t remember too late.
I hope you don’t remember when I’m gone,
But I will always wonder…

Do you remember me?

Between laughter and gentle hugs,
she hands you hatred and envy in a platter.
And screams above everything else,
and you promise yourself you won't turn out to be like her.
Between long conversations about life and love,
she springs out hurt and dissatisfaction.
And unhealed wounds  that leave scars and you promise again that you won't turn out to be like her.
Between braids and sweaty palms,
She gives you judgement and mistrust.
And silent tears that will haunt you forever and you promise once more that you won't turn out to be like her.
Between love and smiles,
You hand her hatred and envy in a platter.
And screams above everything else and you realize this time,
You turned out to be just like her.