I remember the rain
When he died
and the raindrops kissed my face
I remember the rain
When my clothes were torn
and the kids walked away
I remember the rain
when you said goodbye
and the sky turned black
I remember the rain
even when the sky was clear
the sky isn't the only one who can cry

Waking up to the singing birds
smelling the morning dew on the grass
breathing in the cold crisp air
feel the sunshine on my skin
eyes closed
then I remember
bruises
black eyes
scratches, scrapes, cuts
That's the reason for this glorious moment
I am sleeping outside
behind the small diner
because of you

Why?
Why do you shut the door
and beat on her so hard
that she can't even scream
When you finish taking out your anger
you walk away as if nothing is wrong
even at such a young age, I would wipe her tears
bandage her wounds
and you sat
and drank
                   and drank
                                      and drank
until it is time to beat her again
what did she do to you?
Why?
Why do you act as if you are the holiest
when you envelope yourself in darkness
and act like nothings wrong?
Why?
Why am I the way I am?
because of you

I don't know how to say
that I care
so friend
please
step away from the edge
I want to say I love you
but my throat
is holding those three words hostage
can't you see the words in my eyes
as I cry in agony
friend
please
look in my eyes
know, understand
pain is real
but life is too
it can be beautiful
if you take my hand
and follow me
into my daydreams

Good God, give me a break
You know I know you’re fake
I just don’t understand
Why you think you’re in command
Oh Lord just stop it now
They’re gonna figure out
That you just stand and lie
While looking into their eyes

I don’t like the games you play
And trust me you won't get away, cause

Karmas coming your way, trouble’s catching up to you
And baby one of these days, you’ll realize all the things you do
Prepare for some pain, soon you’ll know what you put me through
And maybe one of these days, karma will get through to you

Ugly
         ****
                 Fat
                       Idiot
You will never be enough
Useless
              crazy
                        unloved
                                       freak
You will never be enough
******
            ******
                         loner
                                    weak
You will never be enough

shut up
Shut Up
SHUT UP
...
please

You think you can leave
and I'll come running
back into your arms?
Never again
Too many times you've made me a pawn
in the games you play
I won't do it anymore
I used to be a normal kid
who played with mud and chased boys
but now I sit in darkened rooms
and stare into the void
and it's all because of you
so when you ask for my forgiveness
my answer will be
Never again