My mind tells me things will get better.
My heart tells me how incredible unhappy I am.

Something everyone needs to learn who is an artist of any sort.
At some point down the road of your destiny, when people start to disagree with your capabilities and tell you you're wrong,
You're doing something so right.
Don't tell your dreams to everyone.
Not everyone appreciates your beautiful mind.

Paralyzed with unhappiness.
You were replaced by depression.

The most beautiful night.
Quiet
Peaceful
No noise
No sound
Just the sound of the stars and the children in their beds
The magic that is born from being an adolescent
The hope
The whimisicality
It is all so gorgeous
Our savior came this night
He is perfect
Pure
Lovely
Marvelous
Bright
Luminescent
Forgiving
Kind
S­o so beautiful
I am thankful
I try to be thankful
I find this hard at times
I adore this evening though
It is the feeling I reach for every day to keep alive in this childlike heart of mine.
This is the most peaceful night of the year.
Not because of santa or presents
It is the magic that the air holds and miracle that was born into the world on this night.
I love it
I crave it
I need it
This sweet empty night sky that is unvacated by the stars and the moon.
The noise that ceases to exist allowing our minds to dream so seamlessly.

I wonder what guys would do if we acted the way they did half the time.
Had pictures of naked men on our phones.
Watched **** a couple times a week and they never even suspect it.
Disrespect them behind their backs by saying things about other men.
Basically cheated on them in every way possible that doesn't involve touching another woman.
I wonder what they would do.
I wonder if they would handle it better than us.
Or I wonder if they would finally get just disgusting they all are.

Get ready for me again friend,
I feel myself falling again.
Not in the way people fall in love,
in the way they slip away from themselves into the labyrinth.
Its such a scary feeling to feel yourself going away, you so desperately want to stay calm but its so easy to panic as you get closer to the feeling of loneliness.
Dear God keep me above the waters please.
Protect my heart.
Above all else give me peace and keep me calm and sound like the night sky feels.

You're a disgusting human being how could I ever love you

I'm so attached to you I don't even want to close my eyes a second without you right now

Why do I come here.
Where the frost lives.
The trees are in their fourth season.
Everything is dead, yet there is so much life in the creation.
I'm listening to the talk of Home.
It's so beautiful.
What you've done God.
I believe once you take notice in the beauty of things no one else does, you've come to know a new insight of happiness and creativity.
The limbs are something you'd see out of a horror movie, but no they couldn't be more mistaken.
My pen is dying and I'm sad.
So I guess now I'll read about the lost boys and Mr. Peter.

I feel bad for her because I know she's hurting.
But does she know how much pain she puts on me.
Making me think he doesn't love me.
Maybe I believe it.
That's the pathetic part.
Her pain causing the problems of my future life with Him.
This is not the love of a mother.
Who doesn't approve of her daughter.
Who she is now.
The person that she loves to be.
This is emotional abuse.

Hopeless
Dauntless
Useless

God get us out of this labyrinth.
Set the generations of past free for the future.

For only the hole in my chest is never going to fully recover with this madness.
This is not good madness.
The repetition of the flash on the screen makes my heart panic.
Alas it should be comfort that the soul encounters.

I don't want to be alone anymore.
What I had with you was what I wanted forever.
I wanted forever with you.
I still miss you and it's been so long since I even saw that face in a frame.
I don't know that anyone can ever truly make me happy the way you did.
I wish I could tell you all this but you're so far away already and I don't want to ruin the good that has come about lately.
I'll always love you and I just wish things could be different.
Oh how I would give anything to go back to a moment from a year ago.
A moment when you were mine.

My heart hurts because you have yet to return it.
You're holding it tight within your grasp and even if you offered it back I would hesitate.
It still loves you more than it can say.
It beats to know you and love you but cannot because the truth is breaking it in half.
The blood pumping and suffocating it's function.
But God squeezes it back together.
Morphes it into what she used to be.
Fills it with blood pure as the ****** and white as snow.

I was weary and weak.
I came to him and I was renewed, refreshed, and revived in spirit, mind, and heart.
He will be there if you just come.

Why do we cling to one thing that we acknoweldge as our greatest destruction

God,
You know what I need most and I see that now.
I see that this lifestyle is unfulfilling and all I want is you.
All I want is to feel your freedom and peace that comes from your grace transcending all understanding of my being.
I see your reasons and I see your purpose.
I see that I still need to be enveloped in your love and light so I can radiate into the lives of others.
Lord this is my prayer to you.

I'm in love with him but I can't love him.
To be in love as a Christian young adult, that's almost impossible.
God says with him all things are possible.
Except being able to fully love him.
He makes me feel amazing and I love how he would do almost anything for me.
I want to give him everything he deserves but since I love God I can't.
I want him to just understand for a second what it's like to love God.
It feels like your very soul is so full of life that a fire will shine through.
The power of God is unfathomable.
If he loves me he should be willing to wait with me and in the end know that it was so worth it.
I love him so much and he doesn't even fully know because I can't show him.
I just want him to know that he's so quickly becoming my world.
That I've never loved anyone like I love him.
That just looking in those hazel blue eyes brings the biggest smile to my face.
That when he holds my gaze everything is perfect.
That when his smell runs into me I fall in love all over again from the memories.
That he makes me so unbelievably happy I never want to be without him.
That I wish I could give him everything he wanted and deserved.
I can't lose him over this.
It feels too good to call you mine.
I love You.

**** it feels good to miss someone.
It's been a while since I actually missed someone I dated.
I miss his smell,his touch, his warmth.
The smile he gives me before he kisses me.
The breath dancing on and between our lips while the suspense of them meeting builds.
I feel this insatiable urge to get these thoughts and urges out of my head and on this blank space.
I love the need I have and want to be with you, the excitement before I see you again.
The prediction of what will happen, their are so many possibilities of images floating around in my head.
I've only felt this way about someone once and it broke me, but you're the first person I've really wanted to try for again.
So because of that, you terrify me.