The scales have tipped from empathy to apathy.
Another deep conversation that results in no gain.
Feel better; feel like you're helping. Give me good advice.
I'm glad you feel better.
I'll fall asleep, again, racked by an aching heart and soul.

This gothica doesn't suit me. You'll never walk by me thinking, "That boy needs to be happier."
You'll never see the pain behind my eyes; I hide too well.
Masters of Disguise: a brotherhood with no members.
How about I come at this more directly?

The guilt and remorse at having broken the only thing I cared about: Her.
The pain that seeps from my chest because I won't just let it out.
The anger and despise that I'm the only one being blamed for any of it.
These are my most familiar emotions; and they have no place except on this page.

How do people do this? How do you feel better? Where do you hide your pain, and who the **** cares? When I bare my soul, it's abused; when I hide it away, I'm abused. There's no escape. "Do it the way I did it." I'm not you. I'm me. Care without understanding. Don't fix me, congratulate that I want to fix myself.

Don't be an apathetic *******.

Words are beyond lost right now
I think this is what it feels like to be numb.
I know this is when I'm supposed to have faith and hope and this is when it is most vital.
But where to begin?
Where to decide that from this moment on I am going to be happy.
Happiness is something I seem to treat as a destination.
Happiness is a mind set that only God can help me achieve.
I love God and I love being able to not feel held back by anyone in this manner.
I just know I feel lonely.
I feel insecure.
What makes people decide they don't want me?
Is it the fact that I can't help where I've come from?
You can tell someone all you want to work on their issues, but tell me how is that going for you?
Do you have everything figured out and every ghost distinguished?
No I know you don't.
So don't judge me for mine.
He once told me not to let anyone tell me I'm not worth it, so here it is, I know I'm worth it.
You tried to tell me I wasn't but you didn't break me like I thought you would.
In fact I feel stronger and motivated.
God can see who wins in the end and I know it is us.

My mind tells me things will get better.
My heart tells me how incredible unhappy I am.

I really miss you tonight.
That sweet voice that used to tell me you loved me.
That crazy demeanor that was so expressive.
My mind rushes back to you in a familiar way.
You made me crazy but I wouldn't have wanted it any different.
I wouldn't even have changed the goodbye.
It's been 6 months and here I am still thinking about you.
The non stop love is something I don't know if I'll have again.
Feelings never dulled for you but only got brighter with time.
You were a beautiful soul and I hope one day I'll see it again.

The entrapment of this mind is starting to **** me.
Trying to explain this frustrates me even more.
When my heart feels something my mind tells it even more how to react.
Which makes me feel crazy.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle you.
I feel too much for your already and with that comes my heart.
My heart longs to be with you but you're causing more destruction to me inner being than good.
I'm still stuck in the labyrinth from them and I don't think it will ever go away.
I've prayed to God to take it away but I feel like I'm getting worse and worse and my mind won't shut off.
I want to be freed from the ropes suffocating my brain.
Depression is sinking in and I'll do anything to make it go away.
She likes to submerge herself in something and sadly it cannot be him or she will be broken.
All I know is I feel so hurt right now.
What is wrong with me.

It's the little things that make him so intricately perfect to me

God,
You know what I need most and I see that now.
I see that this lifestyle is unfulfilling and all I want is you.
All I want is to feel your freedom and peace that comes from your grace transcending all understanding of my being.
I see your reasons and I see your purpose.
I see that I still need to be enveloped in your love and light so I can radiate into the lives of others.
Lord this is my prayer to you.