Dear Dad,

I always tried to understand
Why you felt like no one held your hand

I tried to know why **** and alcohol
Became your comfort, your silent wall
And why the world seemed to scare you
so I guess I never knew what you were going through

I really tried and tried to know
But some things you could never show
Maybe life was just too hard
For your already broken heart

There were bright days, and there were dark
But even on bright days your eyes missed their spark
I asked you if you were good
But you said that hapiness you didn't understood

I was never the villain,
The story was just never told
Like it was me who needed a hand to hold

"Hear me out," a sentence every girl has said
He looks good on the outside, but inside? Just bad
"Hear me out" makes sense in novels and scripts
Real life? Bad plot — no plot twists

I sat in my living room, talking to Death
“Why are you not afraid of me?” he said
I looked him in the eyes and spoke
“I’m not scared to die — my heart already broke”

He gently lifted his head, and I saw
In his eyes, a pain — an emotion so raw
He looked at me and said through teary eyes:
“Once, my love, there will be peace and no more silent cries"

I cried and screamed, “Why not now? Why not today?”
He touched my hand and looked in a peaceful, kind way
“My dear, your life isn’t done, it hasn’t even really begun
You don’t live, but just exist. Please, my dear, try to live — I insist.”

I feel lost, drowning in an ocean
I feel lost, where the sun doesn't shine
I feel lost, with my breath frozen
I feel lost, reaching for stars never mine

I feel lost, with words unspoken
I feel lost, in voices in my mind
I feel lost, in a heart cracked, not broken
I feel lost, searching for peace I can’t find

I did it all, I owned every second this world could give
I traveled far and made so many friends
Yet somehow I didn't really live
I still don’t know how the emptiness ends

On good days, I turn the pages,
Of the book with poems I once wrote.
So much pain in silent cages,
Words I bled but never spoke.

In black ink, lines carefully formed,
The pain I didn’t understand.
Black words my silence adorned,
Softly held by a warm hand.