Having hope is a chronic illness
The moment you think that it’s gone
It comes shooting right back to you.
You’re like a drug I can’t quit
A sunset I can’t take my eyes off
The more I try to leave
The more I’m being asked to stay
I knew you never felt the way I did
I was blinded by chance
And pushed by courage
This wasn’t a mistake
And I will be mature about it
And take it as a lesson
You aren’t the only one for me
And I knew that going in

When I was younger
I used to think that if you were alone
You had to be lonely
No one was around you
How could you be happy?
I used to think that you needed someone by your side to survive
When I became older
I began to think that if you were alone
You were just that
No one was around you
You can be happy
I used to think that you needed someone by your side to survive
When I became older
I realized
You can be alone,
And not lonely,
You can be alone,
And be happy,
It’s all in your perspective.

I look around the quiet hallways and all I can think of are what flower is your favorite. I haven’t said a word in over an hour, but the screaming in my head is making it hard to concentrate. I've never been good at saying goodbye and I don’t think I ever want to.

She wanted to break hearts, but she didn’t know how to raise her words and not her voice. Instead of raising her fists, she raised her nose so high she toppled over. She didn’t know what it was like to fall apart, and maybe that’s why she was the one with the broken heart. She wished that she could have a body that killed and a mind that paralyzed. Instead, she was left with a smile that was questionable, and eyes that said more than she ever will. She wanted to be a secret. To be able to tell people that they didn’t know her, but she was as obvious as an ink stain. Her feelings can’t be washed out. Her mind was an open book, and no one wanted to read it.

I still have bad days,
Time to time they happen
They are nowhere near how bad they used to be.
I learned how to deal with my own shittyness
In a manner, in which, I am more positive.
Everything happens for a reason,
And I know that now.
I got over it,
And I am a better person for it.
I told you that if you met me 2 years ago
I would have been a different person.
I was… in a shell.
I had no idea how to get out of it and I guess in a way…
Losing someone made me see the world differently.
I still see the bad in everything.
I still see the world as half empty,
No matter how hard I tried to get out of that.
People deal with these things differently.
You became positive inside and out, I became bitter.
I think that it’s better we are just friends.
I don’t think that you should go looking for love.
You just stumble upon it and I didn’t stumble upon you.
I went looking and it’s time for me to be alone.
Voluntarily, and not what I was doing before.
I need to wait.
I learned how to be brave from being your friend,
And you made me better for it.
I hope things work out for me,
Because it seems things are looking up for me?
It just seems every year keeps getting better,
So I need to change my mindset.
I keep going straight to the negatives.
Being bitter won’t make me happy.
Growing a pair and moving on with my life,
Well, that will make me happy.
Stop being this sad little girl who was depressed and get a grip of yourself.
You are strong.
You are brave.
Start acting like it because complaining won’t do **** for you
And I need you to be confident.
You need to be confident that you will make it.
That you won’t give up.
Yes, everyone hits a point where they don’t see the light,
But please just look up and you’ll see it staring you in the face screaming notice me.
What’s the point in sitting there feeling sorry for things you put yourself though
When you should just start to see the good in life

I became a very negative person. Usually when you tell people things like that, they simply say it’s a phase and you’ll get over it. Time passes, they forget about it and you never changed. The thing about seeking advice is that no one really cares, especially if they have never experienced it, and it just doesn’t sink in their pea sized brains that you’re hurting and the fact that you’re going to them says a lot about how they feel about you. People are selfish and stupid and unless it directly affects them, they’d rather not talk about it. I’m not saying you should keep it all inside. I’m not saying you should hate everyone because they’re stupid. They’re stupid, but don’t hate them. What I’m trying to say is that when you’re trying to ask for advice, find someone who has been there. Someone who would care about whatever it is that is bothering you. Please don’t waste your time with stupid people. Write, vent or do anything other than keeping it in. don’t be a ticking time bomb, be a dormant volcano. Who will never have a chance of exploding. Take care of yourself and don’t be stupid.

SEE IT’S NOT AS SIMPLE AS A BROKEN BONE OR A FEVER. IT’S LIKE HAVING AN INOPERABLE TUMOR. THIS STUPID THING IN YOU WILL **** YOU AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. ALL YOU CAN THINK IS “I’M GOING TO DIE” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. JUST, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT **** TUMOR AND A MENTAL ILLNESS IS HOW AT LEAST YOU CAN ******* SEE IT. PEOPLE DON’T ASK FOR PROOF. THEY FEEL BAD AND WHEN YOU DO DIE NO ONE SAYS “WE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.”

If I let myself
I love deeply
From within my bones
I’d give it all
But
It takes time
You have to be patient
And you have to be willing to try hard
I’m not the first box in the grocery store
The one that all the kids touch
The outside maybe be dented or scratched
I am the box on the very inside
Fresh from the factory
No child has touched me
No damage has been done
The contents may be the same
The taste won’t be any different
But the quality will be higher
If you want quality you know where to find me
If not
Enjoy the first box you can get your hands on

There’s nothing beautiful about the crippling words that escape my mouth.
There’s no harmony when I feel as if my heart is going to burst.
I don’t feel happy when I write about sad things
And it seems the more peaceful the words the more awful the situation.
Don’t romanticize pain.
Don’t pretend that sadness is a trend.
Falling apart isn’t something you sign up for.
It’s something you get drafted for.
Forced out of your home into foreign land and forced to live day to day,
Going through the motions
You continue to fight for others but never for your own good.
Depression isn’t a party.
You don’t get presents.
No cake.
It feels as if you’re drowning in shallow water and all you hear is people screaming “get up!”
But walking away
There is nothing beautiful about the sadness that consumes me.

I don't think that people fall out of love. That if you truly felt that way, it never changes. I think many people feel lust, and lust fades. Love can't. Love changes with the seasons, but just like the sun, it doesn't simply disappear. I fell in love with you. As sad or naïve as it is, it won't ever fade.

For you are my stars, my moon and my entire night sky.

I had always hoped that I would get better, and I'd be able to go a day without thinking about death or crying or thinking about hurting myself. These days come and go, and I guess more or less I'm better than I've been. It's become easier to stare at the sun and actually be able to feel the warmth on my skin. It's become easier to breath, and maybe one day I won't want to die anymore. I can keep hoping all of these things come true and I can keep wishing I'll be better. What I'm trying to say is that I'm done wishing and hoping for change. My emotions are my own and I'm going to grab it by it's throat and tell it to cooperate. I'm done suffering. I'm done feeling this way. I will tie it to a tree and leave it out in the woods if I have to. This is my life, and I'm going to start living it.

I was cursed with too many feelings, and a voice too loud. Even though I could articulate every thought that crossed my mind, it never occurred to me that you could say how you feel without saying anything at all. That silence could speak louder than I could. You’ve said more about how you feel with your hands than my voice ever could. You never needed to tell me. You loved me with your entire being and you never needed to use your words.

i don't know what i'm doing, and i'm doing my best to open up to my friends. like talking about everything that i've been worrying about today. Because my best friend made me call her and tell her everything. like in what i wrote today "nothing" that's only part of it. like i've been freaking out all day. idk it's just a ****** situation and i'm worried.
i can't figure it out
i need someone to help me

i mean.. ugh oh my ******* god. i have never been so ******* confused in my life. i'm still a ******* kid why am i worrying so much over something that could potentially mean nothing??
it's the fact that
i have no idea what the future holds
and that
well
it scares the living **** out of me.

I’m starting to forget how to feel
I miss how my heart used to light up when you talked to me
How no matter what I knew I was safe
You left me when I needed you most and now I am lost.
I took a wrong turn somewhere and I have no idea where I am.
I’m drowning in worry and I keep seeing shadows
Thinking I got saved.
I won’t be able to survive this alone,
Will someone come save me?

He's new to me, but has been around for awhile. It's odd to me how someone who you knew of and never really thought of before can suddenly, and quickly, become the center of all your thoughts. My friends have known and been friends with you for years and just a week ago you came into focus. I never thought you would ever be part of my life.

In light of that, advice that came to mind while writing this, a girl i used to be friends with once said "The best things come when you don't expect them."

I hope that you will be one of those things.
Even if we don't end up being romantic, i do hope we become friends because you are beautiful in every sense of the word and it would be a disappointment to be unable to captivate that beauty.

B.M

There's something in the way you walk
That caught my attention
What it was i'm not sure
But you are beautiful
In every sense of the word
And it would be a shame
If this was my only poem about you
There's something in the way you hug me
It's as if you're sheltering me from the world
That you want me and only me
On the other hand
You are confusing as ****
You are the type of guy
That treats everyone the same
No favorites
No special treatment
Nice Nice Nice
You are so captivating,
I cannot find the words to describe you
It would be a shame if this is all i ever know about you

hello friends hows it going??
well it's going fantastic here because you know the most recent poems about that boy? well i am hanging out with him tomorrow.
will be posting a poem sometime tonight
whoop

it doesn't matter
nothing matters
once again
i'm having a ****** summer
i didn't have any expectations
yet
here i am
with all of this disappointment
if you were wondering
no
depression doesn't go away
it'll always be there
at least that's something you can count on

There are moments when I want to take my arms and make a cut so deep all of my pain comes pouring out. I want to watch it disappear and maybe disappear too. I can hardly breathe. I never thought that anyone could live like this, and I was right. No one is living in this state of mind; hence they are only surviving. The pain and agony fuses with your bones and frankly it’s an awful structure. With the words “hurt yourself, hurt yourself” resonating in my mind, It surprises me that I’m still standing. I wish I wasn’t afraid of the dark. I wish I wasn’t afraid of it swallowing me up. I wish I could live without fear of losing myself.

I want to be your “good night” and “good morning”
The girl you can’t stop thinking about
After everything,
I deserve to be fallen in love with
Head over heels
I want you to know that I’m not going to wait for you
Anything we could have had is over
The possibility of any kind of romantic relationship
I won’t let happen
I need someone to be there for me since day one
I don’t chase people
I don’t put in more effort than you
I live my life exactly how I drive
Looking forward

If I came home screaming I want to die, my family would stare through me blankly and continue on with their day. They would continue to say that I can’t possibly be depressed. How these feelings mean nothing. How I’m being dramatic. I’m sorry that every time I’m alone, I want to die. Every time I ******* think of her I want to slit my throat and go be with her. How I hate how I feel this way and I feel like I’m falling apart. How much proof do you need? Do you want to see my scars? Here: look at my arms, look at my wrists. How can you possibly think any of this is normal? If the sky was green and my hair turned blue, would you believe me then? My body is in as much pain as my mind. I know what it’s like to be hurting inside and out. Though none of this matters… no one cares… I’m just wasting my breath.

If the saying,
"You are what you eat"
Is true,
Then,
You must eat,
A lot of ***.

To get to where I want to be
I have to do something I could never conceive
Not worrying
Not obsessing
To let things take whatever path they chose
And I should simply follow
Opposed to “taking the road less traveled”
Simply follow which ever path I was led to
In other words
I need to go with the flow
In order to get what I want
And if what I want is you,
I need to be patient
And do something I have never done.

MY THOUGHTS HIT MY LIKE A DOWN POUR. EVERYDAY IS DARK GRAY. NOT A SLIVER OF LIGHT. MY HEART FEELS AS IF IT’S SNOW.  LIGHT, SOFT, COLD TO THE TOUCH, BUT IF IT’S HELD TOO LONG IT WILL MELT THROUGH THE CRACKS OF YOUR FINGERS. ONE DAY IT’S THERE, BRIGHT AS DAY, AND THEN THE NEXT IT DISAPPEARED.

YOU TURNED MY HEART INTO ICE. IT WAS CLEAR AND FLOWING NICELY. IT WAS SUPPORTING LIFE. YOU CAME AND FROZE IT WITH YOUR ICY TOUCH I MISTOOK FOR LOVE. YOU BROKE ME.

I’m going to live, not survive.
I have spent too much time,
Worrying, waiting
Not letting myself be me
I decided
I’m going to do me
I’m going to do what makes me happy
With those who make me so
I don’t want to hurt you
But if he makes me happy…
Well
I’m going to go for it

It was the winter of my life
When I met you
You were my only summer
And probably the only reason why I made it
Maybe that’s why I miss you so
Even now
I’m sorry for pushing you away
And I’m sorry you’re so bitter about it now
Just know
You saved me
From myself

Before I met you, I was stranded out at sea. Clutching onto a deflated life raft and hoping someone would come save me from the crushing waves. You came with every bit and piece to put my raft back together. I’m not saying you saved me, but I’ll be ****** if I don’t say you were a contributing factor.

It’s either
Too late
Or
Too early
There’s no happy middle
Just cuts and corners
I don’t want to do it now
But
I don’t want to do it later
Can you just tell me?
I might die right then.