How does time stand still but fly by at the same time? You have life changing moments where the world around you freezes, even if just for a moment, and then in the blink of an eye, 2 years - 5 years - 10 years go by.

Both good and bad impact our lives. Each mold us to who we are, who we want to be, who we don't want to be. We have successes; we have failures. We experience being on top of the world and trying to climb out from the dark, gloomy depths of hell.

Our faces say one thing, our hearts say another while our mind races to figure out if anyone can tell. Pushing for happiness and laughter while dribbled with pain as you wander through each day.

Anger, fear, frustration, and anxiety tear you apart. Hope, love, and happiness try to keep it all together like a piece of tape trying to hold a piece of wrapping paper closed with contents too big for its size, like that seam about to pop.

I am woman hear me roar but ignore my painful mutterings and tears. Treat me as if I am no different but hold me like a fragile piece of blown glass ready to shatter in a moment's time.

I am broken and not perfect. Tattered and torn but desperate to keep shape, pulling back at the unraveling thread. Who will win?

One, two.
What should I do?
Three, four.
I want to see more.
Five, six.
Just for kicks.
Seven, eight.
I can never be late.
Nine, ten.
Should I bend?
Eleven, Twelve.
Take care of yourself.
Thirteen.
Oh how unlucky you are.

An action with permanent consequences.
A voice taken.
Slowly regained but not the same.
Bones exploding.
Pain, pins and needles, numbness, stiffness.
Every day, a new reminder.
Anxiety, PTSD.
Invisible marks, scarring for life.
Sleepless nights, nightmares.
How many times will I relive this moment?
How many times do I HAVE TO relive this moment?
Glimmers of hope followed by life shattering moments as a new day brings a new permanent struggle.
Moments of emotional strength thwarted by physical pain.
Here we go again.
Life altering, daily life modified.
Don't come up behind me to wrap your arms around me, what remains of me may just panic and crumble.
Tears flow at unexpected moments, hidden as I step into another room or drive down the road.
I don't want anyone to see me like this, again.
"You have to find a way to move on."
"You can't let it keep bothering you."
Please tell me how and I will do it.
While you're at it, please tell me how to fix the discs in my neck so I can turn my head, look up, look down, sleep, live without pain.