The girl sat at her desk, quiet that morning. Even with the million sounds and noises coming from each and every direction, she never made even a brief sound. Her breathing was shallow. As for her eyes, they were locked firmly onto something. Something not even another pair could see.. She was quiet, but not blind. Her voice was quiet, and toned down when she spoke, and the shivering of her body, offend told people she was just cold. But the temperature in the room was at its highest.



Every moment of her life, someone near and close to her, kept forgetting about her. Her skin was hollow and offend looked bluish from how cold she was. Every single person who’d left her, left behind some remains. Her body was that reminder. But without a soul, what did she have left.



I had forgotten her….

The brown-haired girl sat alone that night. Peacefully she dreamed, in the warm embrace of her blanket covers. She couldn’t open her sapphire eyes, for the peaceful light inside her kept her from doing so. Her best friend was only a few inches from her. She wasn’t visible, but the embrace from her presences made her less lonely.  

All she could hear was the sound of faint beating. The beating was her own heart, as it fought to keep her alive. She knew at any moment she’d be gone, but without saying goodbye, to the greatest love of her life would surely break her. So with all the strength she had left, she fought to open her eyes. As she did, her vision swam. Tears were running down her pale, rosy face as she stared into those kind eyes she’d remembered from so long.

’’What’s so special about her?’’ She asked herself.

’’Nothing, its just there’s nothing special without her.’’ The past was marking left alongside her body. Markings she knew would connect them forever, for they could never wash them from her body. With permanent market, they remained.

At first, I desired a smile, second, it was a hug, third it was happiness, fifth it was to see the pain behind your sapphire eyes vanish. Sixth was real emotion, not a fake. Seventh was to allow me into your heart. Eighth was our moments together. Ninth was your mind. The tenth a truthful smile, instead of tears.

I desired all these ten things, all at once and more than you could have known.

I desired them all in one minute and five seconds. But when the rain poured and the thunder began to ring. An hour passed......I stopped desiring for the ten things I knew I couldn't have.

Ugly world, beautiful world, shadow world, bright world. Attractive? Skinny? Beautiful, smart. This is what today’s standards expect you to be. And because you're not, you work harder. Harder, and harder until your soul resembles that of your own broken heart. Small, medium, large, extra-large. They don’t matter, none of them. Living with an eating disorder……its cruel.

Autumn, Winter, Spring, and Summer. All that’s left will be your bones. No flesh, no warmth, nothing to love. And still, those dreaded souls will still repeat these words over and over in their heads. ’’Just not skinny enough.’’ But even with those words playing over and over in their minds. I’ll still be here. Ready to tell you something different. Something important. Something you need to hear. ’’You don’t have to be, you’re so beautiful.’’

’’All of you.’’

Drip, drip, was all she could hear. The bit of her blade rested loosely against the tip of her fingertip, lightly. Crimson, followed by raining scarlet, filled her vision quickly. She couldn’t make herself stop thinking about the dark thoughts lingering in her mind. Black then white, white than black. Her shadows chased her around, round and round till she saw stars. It was peaceful…….but only for a moment. She felt the dizziness and her only pieces of happiness faded away as it brought her back to hell………

The light from the kitchen brightened up her face slowly. The bits of leftover food sat motionless in the corner of her plate. Without looking she could see the front door. It was wide open. His footprints still wet as they lead all the way into the cold.

’’It's coming down out there.’’ Told her mother.

’’When the rain pours.’’ She whispered.

The eyes of an eagle. The breath of a snake. The sound of a cat and the ears of a dog. You are unique. Fire as bright as ember burns through you. Along the icy cold chill of the winter months as it cools your nose. Be your best self. You can’t be everything at once. Be unique. Be different. Be you, and shine like diamonds. Burn like ember, chill like ice. Care like earth. Flow like water and blow like air. Work yourself into the shinning ember I know you can be.

Glow like a diamond, love like a valentine. Light up the room like thunder and burn the negativity. Light the tunnel, melt the ice. Unlock the key. Be you.

Summer and Autumn. Light and Dark. Good and Bad. Thunder and lighting. Water and rain. Winter and snowflakes. Friendships and love. Storms and sea. Eyes as cold as night. Midnight lips and a shiny soul. Brightened by the moonlight. Gathered to one place. One place. A place of magic and youth. Fantasy and imagination. This is your place. A place created by the mythical fantasy behind brunette eyes. Stunning jet black hair, a tint of light green formed around the edges. A deepened heart, locked tightly with the bit of a key. The edge of daybreak welcomed her…..But she always declined. There was something waiting for her. Something only she could wait for. Something that loved her, no matter what she thought. No matter the cold and dark thoughts her brain could muster. The eyes of that something could always tell her she was wrong.

The candles joyfully sang for you today. Until you return home, they always will. And until then the heart of your spit will only continue to get bigger and bigger. Until it passes everyone on earth.