I lay in bed alone, reminiscing of simpler times. Times where a smile was a measure of happiness and not of the deep sadness we so often find ourselves masking.
Simpler times where love was pure, where emotions were genuine ,and where happiness radiated through the clouds of sadness and pain.
Simpler times where my heart was unblemished by the cruel essence of
the world.
I’ve fallen astray, I’ve become lonely, and damaged
Caught in a constant storm of sadness and pain.
My tears are silent
But one thought remains loud; all the wisdom of pain, sadness, joy and love can’t prepare you for the fear of life and not of death.

I sit by myself in thought, not because of sadness or loneliness
but because, I understand
I understand what inadequacy feels like,
i understand what loneliness truly is,
I understand what sadness in the depths of your being tastes like as it lingers on the top of your tongue
I understand what it’s like to be me,
I understand what it’s like to be you,
Knowledge may be the greatest gift, but as I cry in prayer every night
The Lord knows its burden I struggle to bear.

The clouds are heavy and grey as the rain drizzles down from them,
The world is still and quiet, as though time has frozen
There are people everywhere he turns,
But he is alone
There is an abundance of love
But he is heartless
There is happiness gleaming through the smiles of mother and son
But he is sad
For he understands the world
He understands it is cruel, heartless ,and unforgiving
He has become the world he was petrified of.

My mind is troubled and my soul lays weary, for my thoughts are dark and sad.
The one thing I can’t control are these thoughts,
For the darkness and pain have become me
and I them.
As the mask is lifted, the darkness beneath my eyes lay exposed, this darkness tells a thousand tales
Tales of fear, of sorrow, of regret
Don’t look in my cold eyes, for you will see what such tales can do to the innocence of a child,
and my dear
you’ll never forget it, there it will remain a scar forever.