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Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
my love grows but weary

each and every day

and on those days are seconds

and every second i shall pray

as the love we share beckons,

and it hollars,

and it screams.

for attention and devotion

and everything but bitterness, it seems.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
all night long
touch me
ride me
feel me
all night long
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
I lay my head
upon my bed
The one I made
My words were said;
in not so silent of a tone
Yes a whisper
Yes a moan
Too many thoughts expressed
Not entitled, simple stress.
Now I must admit
I must confess
That my flirtatious;
personality
Though outrageous,
Is my reality
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
I freak out over the simplest of manners

And I think it's just me,

but I can tell it's a widely known thing.

So every time the sheriff calls

I crawl into a ball and cry

And as all of those tears fall,

I often don't understand why.
Lavendar My Love Mar 2018
Exhaustion at its finest.

Noises blend together

And there is no room for kindness.

Feeling lighter than a feather;

Heavier than a bull.

Your being becomes the weather,

the weather becomes your soul.
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
He's religious
And old fashioned
Not superstitious
Rations;
All his money-
for what reason?
His obsession with the cash-
if it could physically inflict him,
his entire body would be engulfed within a green rash.
To be rich is to prosper-
but in the corpses of a tree
But that's what's "proper"
Anything free is worthless
and if you want love
you gotta be ruthless.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
oh my goodness,
oh my goodness,

yet again i write to empty and cleanse my soul.

but you lack the understanding of comprehending my being.

"*******"

Ah, yes.

Fatherly love.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Man this world makes me annoyed
and happy
and silly
and corny
and *****
and angry.

But most of all, indifferent.
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
Something kinda silly
kinda funny
kinda odd
happened
over the course of a few weeks
in the blizzard sort of weather
in the redness of our cheeks
in the triumph that bestowed us
in the pain that denounced us
in this slippery ***** of love
we became an object
well above
even the most popular of our time,
we had a moment,
a sparkle,
a time to shine
And in those golden years
I declared you mine.
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
I am your lover
and you are so much more than my muse
and though i'm an artist
you're all I chose;
to write
to draw
and think about
to finger
to dream
and to ponder of
And though I am but young
I am merry
And though these lyrics have already been sung
I will wait for by the prairie
Our half way point,
From the mountains to the lakes
From the Rockies
where you remain
to Minnesota
Where I shall not die from this pain
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
how difficult to see

your art in such a lightly manner

in the vividness of it

your age is a concept but your art is still in development,

but lo-

my art shall always be in development.

it is malleable.


now and forever, my art will never be mine completely.

Mine of yesterdays, and tomorrows.


mine of then and there.



but never mine of this moment,



or mine of right now




just mine of that emotion,



i felt when I wrote you down
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
How uneventful my life must be

if you're all I pay attention to

With your dark green sweater

and dark black hair

Moondust eyes...

But can you blame me.


Who would be so ignorant as to ignore you?

my baby, my darling:

I will wait for eternity in the depths of this pit

this shadow

always lurking darkness

distance:

may be our dividend,

but right this instance,


I cannot imagine my life without you in it.
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
I tried to listen
But I just don't care
And yet you're still all I hear

So I tried to forget
All the information you gave me
But your essence seeps through my sweat
And you're all they see

I have no personality
I am but an image
As if being you is my normality
But your being makes me grimace

How sad it is when one becomes a ghost
A scientific condition
You're the virus
And I,
the host.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
my entitled little missy,

though so happy and so free,

my silly, little *****:

your love means so much to me.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
I am only in one competition.

And that is the one for love.

And like all the other contestants,

there is only one prize I am thinking of.

So do not bicker, and scream.

Do not fight.

Do not become mean.

Cause we each have different prizes in sight.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Reflection

A distraction from reality

But we need it to recap our morality

So is this theory, this action,

a burdon,

a sin?

Or is it just another activity to pass the time,

or make us grin
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
As long as I can dodge a bullet,

I'll be alright.

The issue is, I don't know how to fool it-

So there's only failure in my sight.

If anyone could give me some advice,

on how to ease a troubled soul,

why, that'd be nice.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Once I begin a thought,

I have no idea where it may lead

And then I think another thought

And I cannot let it be

So the thought I originally thought is left to rot

Thus, my brain is never free.

So I ponder on this rotted thought

With sadness and with glee.

And on this rotted thought I thought,

No one else but me.

But than I thought you thought the same thought,

And I just couldn't see

But if you thought this same thought,

Was it rotted, or was that just me?
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Those teenage dreams

were deer in the night.

What once was plausible,

now an everyday fight.

The average became my impossible.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Sometimes I write just to write

other times I can't sit still,

my body becomes shaky,

and against my very own will,

I write down my most personal thoughts,

and figures,

and illustrate my fears,

and suddenly it triggers

a waterfall of bottled up tears.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Why form an opinion if it hardly ever makes an intense difference?

What difference?

Exactly.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
I get angry when I have to wait.

Not cause i'm impatient,

It just gives me more time to contemplate.
Lavendar My Love Dec 2017
Who is worthy of interruption
Might I ask
Or is that another question you have no clue how to even begin to process
To understand
Too lazy to answer
so you murmur
"I don't know man"
Now a decade,
nearly two,
later;
You're reactions haven't changed
And I ask you yet another,
You become all disarranged.
"Cause that's just life"
That's all you ever answer
"And if you believe it's not fair, than go talk to your wife"
As is she's some kind of necromancer
A woman fueled of power
who has the key to numb your pain
Take that pain and devour;
But you and I know you are just a man
with lustful thoughts
and dreams thats rots
and one who never
Why
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
Why
The nosy surroundings in which I live in

trigger every aspect of my anxiety.

"Why,"

I hear

"WHY"

because I have no control over emotions, that's why.
Lavendar My Love Mar 2018
At times when there seems to be no time for rest,
You become obliterated by the aggravation,
Everyone else becomes a pest.
The human gives you an invitation;

to chose to become annoyed
and if you accept it
you than become employed;

as a world-class *******.
Lavendar My Love Jan 2018
My fingers are rather cold

I gently poke a person,

and they jump.

I am so cold,

I make others jump.

My fingers are pretty cold.

and my nose is like the tip of ice.

So when he leans in to kiss me,

he backs up real quick.

And with worry and embarrassment,

he asks: "Are you sick?"

To which I reply,

"No I am not. I am frozen inside and out.

My inners are tied in a knot, and perhaps, maybe, I have gout.

But as far as i've been told, this is just the way I am.

And if it bugs you that much,

Than please pretend to not give a ****."

"Well,"

He bagan,

"It doesn't insult me at all- nothing of that such.

If it bothered me, I would scram;

but you're more than just finger tips,

and you're more than your nose.

Your kiss is like nectar,

every sip I take glows.

You are my hummingbird

and I, your rose."

— The End —