There are people out there that still believe in magic, where one exists in the stars of their eyes.  What a place to be, in the dreams of one so fluid and beautiful with words.  To be more than just physical form and style, but this spirit of inspiration.  Oh I sometimes wish to move in this world with a cloak of disguise.  Maybe then the world will actually hear my words.  Distracted by lust, desire, jealousy or judgment, I do not exist.  I am a concept in their minds, I am not human.  But even a muse lacks that tangible reality of true love.  I would only disappoint, when discovered of my human flaws.  It is better that I stand afar, where you can’t see my cracks.  Even on your pedestal so high, you may notice the wear in my eyes.  I have fared well in the years, but I am not without the scars and bruises of my past.  Do not hold me up too high; it is only the farther that I will fall.

This is it, the release, and the music plays and the words just flow and somehow maybe there is peace beyond all this, maybe there is light at the end of this tunnel. And to read those thoughts from others. We all question and hurt and plan our revenge on the world. And maybe we just want to feel less alone, connected to something. Sometimes it's just a means to get it out. As much as I feel I must, I won't apologize for my ramblings. This is catharsis

I feared coming back here, to this place of darkness, angst, pain, and hurt. I've held it inside for too long I feel like I'm rotting. I have no outlet for my shame, anger, confusion and sadness. I must always carry on. And there is no room for weakness in this world anymore. I must be, and say and do and perform and it has to be perfect and believable. I have a mortgage to pay, and bills and responsibility. Who has time to feel? When did it become ok to break a heart every day, to use another, lead them on, take all they have and then leave without a word. Where has humanity gone. I miss the days when I just didn't care......

You have but hours left to haunt my mind.  There must be an end to this.  Perhaps you shall leave me with sweet dreams of closure. I ache to forget your face, your touch, your smell, the hollow you left each time you pulled away, every time I said No. My arms still feel the ghost of you. I shall regret all that wasn't said, so all i feared to share with you is here, on these private public pages. You scared me, fascinated me, entranced me, fooled me, seduced me, weakened me, opened my eyes, stirred up all the feelings of confusion and frustration and of dreams lost, love desired, need, want, that now I'm just so lost. Perhaps you're the catalyst I've been waiting for...

Tis better to have loved and lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
And lost
Than to have never loved at all???

Change is coming
It's in the air
Feel it on my skin
Behind my eyes
On my lips
On my tongue
Time to take control
My future is my destiny
I cannot wait to see what is to be

******* man
The immortal soul
Rapid heartbeat destroys all
Feel his warmth
In a pool of blood
Drain into the dark
In the center of gravity
Try to run
Defy yourself
Undo what's done
Come explore your dreams creation
This is the world of imagination