He remembered when he had it all.
When his head wasn't so bald.
He remembered how she use to run her hands through his hair.
But now there is nothing there.
It feels kind of weird.
Now she has to run her hands through his beard.

He ****** his wife off and went to bed.
And on his soft pillow he laid his head.
His wife sneaked into the kitchen after he had gone to sleep.
And got back into bed without making a peep.
She slammed him on the head with a frying pan.
And into the hospital ICU he did land.

On a moonlit night could be heard yells.
Of kids entranced under the hoop spell.
Bouncing and passing the basketball by porch light.
On a packed dirt yard made brilliant by moonlight.

Lots of fun and lots of screams.
Playing hard with NBA dreams.
Always great seeing the ball go through the net.
Night hoops and kids laughter is one of the best things yet.

He was drinking coffee out of a cup.
When his garbage disposal started acting up.
He stuck his hand down into the garbage disposal to find out what had gone wrong.
The garbage disposal started mysteriously working again on its own.
He lost four fingers and a thumb that day.
He screamed, hollored, and cried in the ambulance on the highway.

She said, I'm leaving you.
He said okay.
She said, I'm taking all the money and the house.
He said okay.
She said, I'm taking Champ the dog.
He said, that's not okay.

It's Mother's Day.
The sun is being its kindest.
The trees are dressed in their green finest.
Papa is taking mom and the kids out for something to eat.
He gave her flowers and chocolates that are so sweet.
The wind is blowing just right.
They will be romancing and dancing tonight.

She worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
And she was called Shake and Bake.
She was mean as a snake.
She would punch her boyfriend in the eye.
And wouldn't even tell him why.
She loved seeing him cry.
The embarrassment made him want to die.