Damien knew that he was in for a holiday treat.
One that couldn't be beat.
Because on his girlfriend's nice *****.
She wore some edible tangerine *******.
Damien's girlfriend was being a bit of a flirt.
Because she knew that those tangerine ******* would be Damien's dessert.

Alex's wife called him to come down quick.
To see what was left by Old Saint Nick.
Alex came down to see his wife naked as can be.
Standing underneath the Christmas tree.
All wrapped up a Christmas bow.
Saying ** ** **.

Willard loved his pet turkey.
He fed him good all year-round.
And his pet turkey put on the pounds.
Around the farmyard, Willard's turkey was boss.
And at Thanksgiving Day dinner,
He tasted so good with stuffing and cranberry sauce.

In a crystal ball, she sees it all.
Wonderful things big and small,
The colors of fall,
Blue skies and waterfalls,
Happy children at play,
People living the godly way.

Kip and his girlfriend were having an argument.
Over bills and paying the rent.
His dog said, it will all work out in time.
Her cat said, I hope that everything will be fine.
But you must admit that he is blowing all his money.
And that just ain't funny.
His dog just grinned and said, boys will be boys.

She was stretched out on a white bearskin rug.
Purring like a kitten.
Waiting for her boyfriend to come get his milk.
Wearing her negligee of pure blue silk.
She was looking so fine.
As her ******* dripped of white wine.

She had blonde hair and blue eyes.
And she wore a yellow dress.
Looking ripe for hot passion.
To savor in sliced banana fashion.
Her boyfriend peeling off the dress.
For a sweet love fest.