He was the world's stingiest cheat.
He went to funerals just for the eats.
It didn't matter whether he knew the deceased person or not.
He only went for a plate of food that was hot.
No one would ever consider him a good chap.
He was just a stingy piece of crap.

In the land of love there was love for many.
Which made her wonder why she wasn't getting any.
Was it something that she was doing wrong?
Which was leaving her so all alone.
But she had to have faith.
That the right guy, she would soon find.
One that would ease her loneliness and blow her mind.

He saw her from the top of a hill
As he stood among the daffodils.
He hair looked so sleek.
As she washed it in the creek.
She was a lovely country girl.
And he wanted to be a part of her world.

Charity was a girl with a lot of wrestling skill.
When her boyfriend ****** her off.
She went in for the ****.
She drop kicked him because of his foolish cheating ways.
She didn't believe in taking his crap on any day.

She was called Sweet Peaches.
She had some of the prettiest features.
Honey blonde hair and emerald green eyes.
She looked so sweet making fried peach pies.
She was the best cook from miles around.
And the sweetest lady in her small southern town.

He had I love you wrote in the sky.
Just to show her that his love for her would never die.
He got down on bended knee and asked her to marry him.
But she told him that she had a thing for her best girl Kim.

He felt that she had led him on.
There was now darkness where light had shone.
She said, I'm sorry that I gave you the blues.
But Kim and I are old down low news.

She was feeling a little depressed down by the pond.
When up to her swam a beautiful swan.
The swan said, I use to feel depressed like you.
And I really didn't know what to do.
But I looked at the beauty and wonder of the sky so blue.
Then my soul felt so brand new.