Our lives engage like the intertwined vines on a popple. Puzzled by the expression. Disoriented by the feeling. Lost in bewilderment.  What is the felling that I might be feeling? I feel like a mime trapped inside of the invisible box pounding to be let out. Lost in my own mind. I am unable to free myself. Lost within the bewilderment of life.

It's been so many years since I have seen your smile, heard your laugh, been enveloped with your hugs and melted with your kiss. I  am sorry. I know sorry will not bring you back. I wish you would have stuck it out here. Things would have gotten better. I could have promised you that. I want to thank you because with you leaving it has stopped me from wanting to. The pain you caused so many. The desperation  I feel and lord knows your mother.

Dear Shane,
You were my best friend.
Death my love doesn't mean it comes to an end.
Death was a reminder.
I just have to try harder.
Oh The things you're missing here.
When I look at my children I get an overwhelming hurt.
You will never experience this kind of love.
From you leaving me I have grown stronger and have learned to rise above.
No matter if only one of us is living we are still best friends.
I just wish we could have made amends.

The stinging, the pain. Is it worth it? Would it be worth the pleasure for the enduring pain. Risk life for happiess?

To the man who has done me wrong.
To the men who complain about women.
Why don't you for once look at who you are!
We women will be fine without you.
Why push yourselves on to us like we need you. Like we need you to keep us safe and warm at night. Stop complaining about who we are. We have been the same for many years. Are you afraid that we may have slight power? That we may just not need you at all.