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23 · Jun 2022
virginia
louella Jun 2022
he’s in my bed, but he is as cold as the winter wind whooshing on the patio
quieter than the snow that falls in pivots and covers the holes that he dug when he went insane.
he’s in my mind, but he is as dead as an old gold mine
his valuables were torn from under his feet, now his hands are like frozen blocks of ice.
he’s in my bed, in a clump, in a frenzy from the casualties of last night
and i’m scared if he awakes cause his mind is someplace else
somewhere dark
somewhere he doesn’t let my toes tread
somewhere he’s hiding his vilest mistakes
encased in the old gold jar
but
he’s
just
lying
on
my
bed.
it’s the start to a new day
carolina by taylor swift inspired this. it’s so folky and bittersweet and kinda creepy and hunger gamesy. idk

btw the he is not a person

6/25/22
22 · Mar 2022
past
louella Mar 2022
today i pondered and wondered if i had actually liked my old school
and right now i don’t wholeheartedly know
the same kids around me
the same stimulants every day
those people were my family
but maybe distant relatives
those people were my rocks
but maybe they couldn’t skip
or maybe i didn’t even try
it felt like heaven compared to this pit of lions
it felt like floating compared to now dying
it hurts
that it might not have worked out the way i
remembered that it had
maybe i was fed poison and forced to cough it back up
throw up into the hands of a burly man
who ate it and finished every last drop of it
maybe at the end of the day
i just feel lost
and i don’t belong
and i absolutely positively hate it
with all of my numb beating heart
what the heck
u were the bully

(Idek if you remember me tehee)

3/8/22

— The End —