When we were kids, you would countdown from ten and when it got to one you’d come looking for me. Chasing me. When you wouldn’t be able to come find me, I felt relieved.
Now, I think of you at ten; the first time we talked. Your eyes at nine and how they lit up something inside of me I had thought never existed. Your smile at eight and at seven, your warm breath in my ear telling me everything will be alright. You tell me you love me at six and at five your lips are pressed against mine, your hands are everywhere. At four you disappear and three you’re back out of the blue. At two you feed me lies and then at one you admit what I’ve always known: you tell me you love her and you’re gone for good.
This time when we got to one and and you did not even come looking for me, I felt disappointed.
-L.K.