Winding rivers
I bathe in
Stirring
False narratives
Bleed the same
Slowly
Excavating my soul
Pulling levers hoping
One should open
Elevators up to the top floor
Eventually it all crashes down
Shiny diamonds
Barricading me in there awe
Rusty copper Pennie’s
That’s more like it
Thunder and lightning
I wanna see
My skies align
Rolling hills
No end insight
Breach of contract
You and I
Never truly aligned
Like fire and ice canceling
Each other out
Never a perfect match
Hyperventilating telepathic waves
The stewing ghosts
In my closet  
Wish they knew
Like I do
How I hurt like hell
Confusing illusions daylight
To my wallowing nights  
Desperately seeking
A muse too take the lid off
Some kind of
Joyfulness to put me in it’s vise grip  
An antidote for the agony
To go away for a while
The outer spaces
Of my mind or something like paradise
Oh how I long for them

Asunder
Birds of prey
Hard headed
Gravity
Incomplete story
In need of my
Sweet salvation
I can’t walk
On water
Wishful thinking
Out loud
Ringing the bell
Twelve rounds are up
Spiraling out
Of control
My crutch can’t withstand
The pressure
Like a stick of dynamite
Exploding daily
Fountain of youth
I’ll pass
I’d never wanna relive
All the unbearable moments here
I’ll never drink from the cup
Because I’ve seen more
Then enough of all this
So called life
For a thousand lifetimes in vain
Dead weight free falling
Into flames
Like a bomb
Falling from the sky
Catastrophic damage up next
Would you shield me from
Thee explosion
Before I fall  
To my demise  
Parachute open up your
Door to me eternally yours
I will be forever in your debt

Chaotic syndromes
Unglued
My spiteful neurotic
Behaviors
Pretexts I never benefited from
Bullies on thee block
Reapers antagonized
Angels swarmed
And tried to protect
Protesting to no avail
It’s unreal
What you miss when
Your deep inside the flames
But when you finally
Claw your way out
And you escape
Certain spaces everything
Comes to light the forefront
Starts pacing around
The afterglow quickly shy’s away
And walks the other direction
Marked by a comatose
Frame of mind
Pull the plug
And let your feelings trample
You missed the mark not the first time
Balking at the fact
I knew I never fit in
Wandering along stumbling
Fumbled blueprints
It wasn’t my makers fault
The adults in the room
I point the finger at them
Rooted in more misdeeds
That I’ve lost count
Misread scriptures put the book down
Cavernous displays
Front and center
I should have been an after thought
As I plucked away the piranhas
One by one
Yet I became the black sheep anyway

Continuum
Reality never added up
Walking a tightrope
Underneath the layers piled up
Pulling the covers
Over my head nonstop
As life was
Viciously attacking me from all sides
Frozen being
This world passed me by
Like a train wreck
Waiting to happen
Beggar
You slowly sunk your
Teeth into my soul
Life hasn’t always
Painted thee prettiest of pictures
The pain on
My hands was not
Of my design
Buried
In the trenches
Life murdered
My dreams one by one
What was left after that
Made each breath
That much harder to find
Seeing thee things I did
Only flawed me that much more
Why did it have to be me
Always caught in the crossfire
A passer by I was
Living life through a fractured lens
Like a kaleidoscope
Where dreams came to die
Life was never easy on the eyes
Pleasant
Far from anything
I would have come up with on my own
If only there was a better story to tell
Believe you me I would have
Certainly done so beforehand

Broken records
A vault in heaven
Unlock me
Velvet sky
Ultraviolet
Final time around
Smallest of
Increments
I never glowed
In thee dark
Frozen visionary
Rush of
Blood to the head
Stained glass
No longer resonates in you
Haunting scars
At the end of
The world
My guiding rope fell
The simplest
Things I found a bit
Of comfort in
Who would have thought
Banish the stagnant air
That chokes my inner being
Reeling gray matter
You’ve never been
A gentle creature to me
I’ve seen
All I need too see
I know what I’ve always felt like
The time
Nor place really
Doesn’t matter
Just know it will come
To be true
Turn my darkness into fluorescents
Of guardian angels dancing
Surrounding me in there protection
Taking me in
Transparent skies align
Illuminate my soul into
My true fate
Where my body goes to a sand pile
And my soul is revived
Reflective moments
I don’t want them anymore
Like riding out a lightning storm
Without the rain showers
Drowning you slowly but surely
Opaque not for another day
Not walking around with blinders on
Openly accepting what
Was promised to a believer in you lord

Untold stories
Display case is empty
Masquerading
Wicked schemes
I hit the redial button
A dad who fled
Rivals we became
Closing time
Before the door even opened
Your voice
Is like a ghost
Yet it haunts the deepest depths
Of my soul
Past transgressions
There was zero excuse
For the stunt you pulled
Left me puzzled
What exactly could I have done wrong Forgiveness for abandoning
A young infant boy
I just can’t get myself to come
To grips with that fact
You pawned
Me before you got
A chance to know your own son
Like I was just a name
On a piece or paper
How did that work out for me
You drove off
A stranger in the mist
Like a bat out of hell
Guess you didn’t wanna be
Caged down
Raise a family you never wanted
And went chasing after what
The mysteries of you
Like a mugshot
Unknown they will never be answered
I’ve thought of you
My whole life far to often
And I could never pawn someone
I gave birth too like you did

Holy water
The scores now even
Blessed be thee one

Thousands of tears cried
A million heartbeats
Gravitational pull

What I’ve always coveted

When judgement day
Comes knocking
I hope I’ve met my quota

Showering pixie dust
Angels gracefully
Dancing about in pixels

Life was just
The tip of the iceberg  
My garden of Eden

Pales in comparison

To a world
Drowning in sin and darkness
Time to close the drapes

Like heathens in a draining swamp

A clandestine palace
It’s truly
No secret to your faithful followers

Illuminating Arcadia
Eyes wide shut
Ready for takeoff levitate me

Harps and violins
Serenading my soul
Playing my swan song

As the pearly white gates unlock

There massive doors
To me  
Thank you
For saving a damaged wretch like me

ALL MIGHTY ONE

FOUND IN HEAVEN OR PARADISE

TRUTH BE TOLD IM HOME NOW

FOR ALL ETERNITY AND BEYOND

Hovering above
If one things
For certain
The wind beneath
My sails
Has kept me afloat
Galaxy of beauty
A beacon of light
Reign down
On me some more
Plant your seed in me permanently
Shadows dissolving
Aching
From point
A to point B
Not anymore
A shifting state
High Jack Heaven
And drop it in my lap
Leave hell alone
A token splendor
Magic carpet ride
My eternal ascension
One day
This is only temporary
It will not house you forever
Unlock the possibilities
You’ll never leave me
Never forsake me
Your soul will be revived
I promise
Words kept inside
That never made it to the light
Because I never really
Knew how to express myself clearly
I felt a little bit off
But you always knew  
What I was feeling
Yet not once you held that against me
My pentagrams light up
Thee night sky’s
As I climb skyscrapers
To get to you
Till the dawn of a new day comes
Home one day I will be housed
And protected from this wicked world
And all the evil that comes with it

Dragging
Myself around
Wilted roses in my garden
The beats
Had no rhythm
Spotlights blinding
Gave me
Stage fright
My opaque
Image the bottles
That I hid in
My very existence
Felt numbing like a whirl wind
The science
Behind my being
Puzzled me to thee core
Beating on my
War drums defeated
More then I like admitting
As life often came
Bearing down
I never
Wanted fame
Maybe to be
Noticed once in a while
I preferred thee
Shadows
Behind the scenes  
Is where I found the most comfort  
Let alone to be comfortable
Enough in my own shoes
Towards the end
I learned to embrace
My loneliness
As I often reflect
On the journey of so many steps
I’ve lost count
With the finish line in sight
My final destination
A tent revival
The free falls often
Led to overbearing confusion
But what’s left
Of my penumbra remains
Will be reexamined elsewhere
By someone who truly cares enough
About me
More then I ever have about myself

The mirrors
They are shattering one
By one shards of glass
Cutting there beings in half
Hand prints
On thee walls fair no better
Falling on deaf ears
Temperate overloading
The great divider
Entombed all this world
Shall one day be
Nazareth
All this is
Probably what you never
Intended it to become
The ringing
In my ears
The stone my heart has become
Hate and division
No love for thee other side
Issues abound
The blasphemy
That stirs
Along with the
Sights and sounds
They all shift to bad intentions
Destruction is only a few
Seconds away
As a matter of fact
The vibes
Down here are
So very alarming
The views are slowly subsiding
I find myself
In the faucets of my mind
Wanting to shut it all off
Bulldoze this
Fake reality that turns
And burns my soul
How complacent these minions
Have become
Bitterness and anger
Is the driving force
The ultimate power and greed
What will ever be enough
For these heathens
Emerge creator of it all
And wipe it all out
Once and for all
Because then there would
Be nothing left for them to
Fight over
Rid the world of its sick twisted
Institutions and self indulging ways

Lines on my face
Worn dancing over me
Taxing realizations
Sensations enchanting
The nearness of you
Yellow and blue
Make green sophisticated
Complications strewn
Scraps of torn pieces
Strung together
Paper airplane
Ready to fly
There's a hunger
A longing to breathe freely
Escape thee unreliable sources
Sketches drawn in the sand
Washed up lagging behind
Caught in the tide lost at shore
An emptiness complains the parts that aren't me
Yet for some reason always present
And I'm daydreaming fiercely
Independently somewhere else come away with me
Let's combine walk together
I could almost go there
Just to watch you be seen
If I could stay asleep
Dream in continuum cause
I don't want to leave
Thee comfort of the vividness
That I find comforting while I'm there
Pieces of a dream effortlessly floating in air
In the morning streets of my mind

Beyond deceiving
Better off
Forgotten
Untold fortunes
Explosive circumstances
Unfairly treated
I’ve seen
It all
On a rusty platter
Flashes in the pan
Like fireworks
They lack any true humor
I relive the
Slight hesitation
That ringing in my ear
The daylight
I’ll never redeem
What a consolation prize
The darkness became
Too afraid to
Go outside
Even open the front door
So I just hid
A cruelty
Far to often seen
Yet for some reason
Never seems to conclude
They said
Jump and you
Said how high
Clueless depictions
Wound up
Tightly and spring loaded
Then they went boom
Absolute clarity
Absorbing
All the blows
Bullies and passer byes
They did me no favors
Stitch me up nice and clean
And throw them outta
My playground
Contagious swells
Swept across
My oceans my boats continually sank
To thee bottoms of thee abyss
Prairies like wildfires
The paragraphs
Sketched deeply
In my being
Flowers hovering over my memories
Have fallen on
My grave already
Get me off this merry go round now
I’ve been around these circles
Long enough

Dead end
No validation
Hourglass hounded
Turned to boulders
The weight
Of my mistakes bogged me down
Paranoia only harped
Life took the best
Parts of me
And disintegrated them
Synthetic testimony
Not of mind
A thief swept
In caught red handed
Starting line
Not what I had hoped for
It was a tough pill to swallow
Hopefully the finish line
Will measure up
Live up to the billing
Apparently the great devine
Is awaiting my arrival
Bare bones
Cover me up in satin linens
Laying all
My cards on the table
I folded long ago
I’ve never had a poker face
But my joker mask hasn’t
Been hard to find when I wanna hide
Behind my disguise
Skipping rocks
All day
Longing for a easy breath
Beaten paths stingy
Far to many
Where’s my yellow brick road at
I want too flow
Freely like
The bluest seas
Dance in the whitest of sands
Fly in the highest of skies
Have the wind at my back
Moving me forward
To a much more appropriate place
And feel the gleaming light
Of the sun that’s eluded
Me as I stayed in bed  
Depressed most of my life
Predetermined or not
Life threw punches at me
And watched me struggle to
Regain my footing
As the heavy impacts knocked
Me flat on my face

Pessimist
Disregarding
My sentiments or what I fancy  
A quailty of life
That doesn’t seem to hold firm
Ailing me along
Day or night
The object
Not of my desires
X marks
Thee spot
Never ending patterns
A montage of seasons
Like a unsolvable riddle  
Can you tell me
Where exactly I’ve been too lately
Never receding  
Rarely forgiving
******  
A mercenary for hire
Cursing profanities
The outside noises
Pale in comparison
To thee whispering hollows
Of my wicked garden
Perfect illusions
Far from desirable  
More like complacent pillars
Seldomly comfortable
In my own skin
Your opinions
Pale in comparison
To my point of view
In the vacuum of my mind
Deconstructing unrelenting
In irrepressible amounts of guilt
Why can’t I feel like myself
Why must these false pretenses
Flare up
Hold me in positions
That aren’t up to par
Continually stuck in neutral

Intersections
Misguided directions
My hope was high jacked

Right from underneath me

Pentagrams
In the night
Hiding my deepest sorrows

Leave and don’t
Take me with you
Swallowed whole

By lies
And a weak lack
Of will  

To fight for change
Saturated in
Bad spirits haunted

By the days prior
Stuck in a school of
Haunting evil trolls

Bouncing off the walls
Frothing at the mouth
To be transformed

One eye open
While the others sealed shut
I felt like

Two souls trapped in one
How could this be
God and the devil

Head to head in a face off

Pulling me
In different directions
Caught in the crossfire

Glad thee right team won

Replacing bad habits
Took me to
The point of no return

Impossible to
Fathom how far
I’ve actually come

Stuck in neutral

I had to put the car in drive
And not look back
As often as I had before

Separating one from the other
Learning to function
Somewhat properly

Surviving me became the
Ultimate chore
I had to learn life’s lessons

The hard way

And it truly helps
Me to appreciate the air
I still breath today

Flesh of my flesh
Not of this world
Halo in thee clouds
A remedy
Dawn of a new day
Carry me
Over thee ground
That’s broken
What goes up
Must come down
Everlasting light
The world
Knows no bounds
Forever lost in time
It must have
Been inside my head
An illusion
That kept me down
Buried me beneath
My lost sad self
Cleaning your pallet
Trying to heal
Believing in a power
So great you can’t even fathom
Yet there he is
Over and over a constant energy
Erasing yesterday’s
Sorrows
Separating
Good and evil
Hand in hand
One must fall
I’ll take thee ladder
Looking through
Your eyes
Your everything
I need along thee path
Defying gravity
Don’t let me lose sight of
What’s important
But most of all you

White noises
Mirrors on
Thee walls
Hindsight’s
Twenty twenty
Illuminate my soul
And let me breathe
Erasing the
Flesh and bone
Levitating my spirit to
A higher ground
Putting a bandage on
Wounds that never healed properly
Only crippled me
Erasing my wavering
Subconsciousness
If only I could
Walk on water
Let alone on my own two feet
The simplest
Things that got
Me through
The toughest years of my life
I used to
Stair right through
My own reflection
Like there was a hole
To nowhere
Straight through my soul
Life would glare repeatedly
Will it ever be found in time
What could ever put it back
Together again
Only you
My shadow guided me
Like an evil twin
Attached at birth
But now I’ve evolved and
Broken free
Been transformed
Into a new being
I no longer hesitate to
To just be me regardless of
My circumstances
Knowing my state of mind
Will never define me as a whole

Misaligned
Alter me
Imitate
What could be
Farther from thee truth
An anonymous
Gift
What could be better
A bestowed presence
At last
Take a deep breath in
Exhale finally at the end
Of thee rainbow
Permanently gone all frustrations
You ever had
Silence takes hold
Like a calm you can’t imagine
Weapon and the wound
Put down released
What I yearn for is
A soft quiet embrace with you
Break me free
From all this chaos
That makes my soul shiver
As my mind quivers
An uninviting melody replays
What I require is silence
And a peaceful tone
That’s eluded me here my entire life
A quiet mind with every fiber of my being
Is all I ask for

If your thee
Only friend I've got
Then I've already won
Luckiest man alive
Grateful are paths crossed
Sometimes
You just know
Your in awe
Savor certain things more the others
They stand out undeniably
A sign
Gift from thee heavens
Beyond our expectations
Worth a second glance
Undeniable
Infatuation the stars aligned
Truly meant to be
Connection unmistakable friction
Hard to miss
Impossible not to feel
You wanna grab hold of
Holds like glue
A bond that can never be broken
Light years away
Feels like we're in the same room
The world needs more like you
Gleaming eyes paradise
A calming voice of reason
Not a bad bone in your body
A rare find
Warming heart sensitive soul
Better person
Similar circumstances experiences
No judgements we are equals
You understand me better then I even know myself
We relate to each other more then most ever will
I find true comfort a calmness
Just knowing your there
Artistic deep minded thinkers get along best
So it would seem love each other unconditionally
And I wouldn't want it any other way

Twists and turns
Your ideas
From my perspective
Through a different lens
Stalemate
Patterns holding steady
Frozen I startled
Like my soul had been tasered
Bridges apart
How could I possibly flee
Wildly creeping how could
I truly be comforted
Homeless without shelter
From harm
Backstreets mumbling
In confusion
A fallacy of demons
All my own became me
Signs of anger
No exit or follow through
Trying days each wasted
My fathers shameful eyes
Pierced my veil
Left me with nothing
Much to say
Raindrops like flicking
Pebbles in my mind
Skipping uncontrollably
Movements like derailing
Trains haphazards
I continually wish to
Jump in front of

Once the misery
Starts I can’t find
The off switch
A child’s deaf ears
Are woken
To the hairiest of situations
The startled fears
That dare to dream
I’m barely conscious walking alone
Am I able to weep
Inside my bloodiest miseries
I whispered secrets
To my darkest demons
In the shadows
They eventually became me
My sacred possessions
And repressions
Became my silence in anger
The fleeting peace
A bobbing boy
And I still envision it all to this day

Iris awakened
Stopwatch reset
Stubborn
As the rocks I break
Hard to gage
I’m tired of the hurting
My toxicity
Finally filtered close
To a hundred percent
Pure as glass
Crystal clear
Like grains of sand
Fine tuned
Navigating through
The non turbulent skies
Teeter totter
Off kilt unbalanced
In view arriving on a level
Playing field
Somewhat new to me
I’ve found a certain balance
Holding court
Peal back
The film
Unwrap my bubble
Set me afire and
Let me breath on my own
Forever
And let my Relic resemble
The better parts
What ever hasn’t been
Seen or heard yet in the limelight

RELINQUISH
Holy water
Protection from me
Everlasting sunlight
A coat of armor
Thee afterlife
A place of peace
Safe from harm
When the dust
Finally settles
Emerging
From the carnage
My mind
Is a complex machine
And may never go
Completely quiet
But one day
I shall flourish
Without you in complete control
I will no longer be
The fuel on your fire
A match you can just
pick up
A constant victim
Your prisoner no longer
Enough already
It’s been long enough
Scaling back
Turning the channel
Your yesterday’s news
You will no longer
Wrap your arms around
Me like chains I couldn’t
Break free from
I’m putting my sword
Down I don’t wanna
Fight you another day
Here’s to a bittersweet farewell
Goodbye my enemy
Forever so long
I’m surrendering
To a different idea point of view
I’m relinquishing your
Very existence
Dropping the same ole sad songs
And preparing
For my moment of solstice
Along with
A multitude of comforting peaceful
Moments
Deafening blues and gray skies
No longer relevant
I can finally hear clearly
See my light at the end of the tunnel

So inviting
Embracing the
Yearning quiet
Excelling reveries
Open up your
Palace doors glisten the broken
Calming effects
Maybe they should be
More permanent
Full circle
Back at the beginning
Flashbacks in familiar surroundings
Laughable insanity
Selfish abandon
Fortified oasis
A mirage
To good to reveal itself
Lucid in the daylight
Binding forces
No validity
When the levy brakes
The panoramic views
Expose there true stories
From my perspective
Felt more like dungeons
Classrooms made
Me claustrophobic  
Often closed me
In there crossfire
Taught the
Wrong subjects
I needed stability
Something firm to ground me
My coloring books
Needed much brighter tones
My pencil couldn’t
Stay between the lines
And the rest is
A tragic history
That should all be expunged
Conflicted as ever
Here I am
Trying to balance multiple opinions
Angel on one shoulder
The devils in my head  
Tunnel visions harsh
Stepping stones suddenly appear
Glowing like the north star
Mightily aiming in my direction
Approach with caution
Almighty redemption
Rescind the brokenness so
I can feel a bit lighter

RITUAL
Belle of the ball
Turns to tar
Never too reconvene
Egregious serpent
Here furthermore  
Target someone else
Off to never land
Limbs and debris
Six feet of gravel
Unwritten tablet
Dejected as I am
Whistling winds
Drain my arteries
Wishful thinking
I got caught by a robber
Looking inside my crystal ball
When you
Get sadder
And stuff it all down
It only stiffens to a board
That much easier to translate
Then comes back
And blindsides you out of nowhere
Provoking
The none ****** insanity
Only rubs salt in thee wounds
Makes me that much more uneasy
The rituals that
Run wild with time
Take me in there grasp
Voodoo dolls
Constantly poking and prodding
Theoretically applied in my skin
Gently
The sun is burning
In my dead sky’s
Solemnly heard
My moon is howling in the mist
Keep the wolves at bay
Get me the hell outta here  
I really don’t want
To outlive everyone else
I would rather everyone else outlive Poor ole me
That’s a simple known fact of mine
And just let me get to home base first
Let these rituals be the sacrifice
Of someone else not my own

Displeasing backdrops
Undercover agent
No need to spell it out
Any further
Accidental persona stolen
Mistaken identity
Expunged
Rewritten not quite
Finished
Yet to be determined
In a fresher aura
Practicing a new set
Of principles
Disenchanting chatter
Like the imitations
They do more harm then good
Faces and places
Like mugshots freeze frames
I never wanna stand
In line for again
Scarce comforting flipped
On its head
Rendered defenseless
Against the other side
A new hope has risen
To astounding heights
Hope there all satisfied by now
Messiah grant me
The serenity to accept the
Here and now be more present
And crush the past like a can
My galaxy never quite
Glowed in the dark
Now it’s dipped in fluorescent lights
And my black hole
Well it ****** me up in its tailwind
I’ve realized it was all part of the process
Just a rough draft in waiting

Dissolving shadows
A faceless man
Stoic I am not
Wounded
Crimson tides
The heavy whispers
Raised
In the dimmest of corners
Obscene occurrences
Plowed me over
The stinging
Bitterness only added fuel to the fire
Sweet and sour
Far to much deception
I wanna
Travel to a place
Where nothing stands in my way
Endless pain
My heartache has
Me defeated
Has me waving
My white flag
Will the wings from
Above grab hold of my broken wings
Before the sky falls in on me
And let’s fly away forever
Fall asleep peacefully
Oxygen
Swallow me whole
Till there’s no more
Air to breathe
Holy water bathe
Me in your divine waters of purity
Saturate me in anonymity
Tell I’m free and clear
Of this place for all eternity
All brand new in a clean slate in heaven

BILLBOARD
Fraying
Paper heart cuts
A penny for my thoughts
The sinking feelings
In the back of my head
Swell
Has the quicksand won
Falling short
The hourglass has fallen
Fly on the wall
Shocked
Talking to god
Black butterfly sputters
Stuck in a cocoon
Trying to disguise
The hurting
Defuse the situation
At all cost
Mourning
When the sun
Won’t rise on your street
Advertisements cold and wretched
Far from fake news
From shore to shore
It continues to print tirelessly
Realistically
What exactly
Am I looking at
Head in my hands
All this blasphemy
Nazareth
Paint a prettier scenery
Produce much better results
Someone call a hearse
Inner circle
Who’s pulling the strings
Holy wars
I’m all ears
Dark ballads
Never missed
There mark
They mocked and prodded
Any chance they got
No vacancy sign
Guess it wasn’t bright enough to see
Clearly
Yet you all lived
In my head rent free
Like a bad neighborhood since birth
And I want what I’m owed
Plus back pay
A billboard that should be
Burned to scrap donated elsewhere
Idyll as I am
I’ll take a one way ticket to a new euphoria

SCINTILLATING SKIES
Curator expired
Expunged realm
Ominous canvas
Outlined in the sands
Washed out at tide
The slates wiped clean
Gate keeper
Catcher of dreams
Take aim at me
My acid rain
Showers halted
Exchanged for infinite baths
With you
When the truest hurts
No longer need comforting
And I’m finally cured  
Entirely freed of all this
Breaths of fresh air
Come easy
Finally embraced at long last
Tiny dancers on my shoulders
Singing in hymns
Telling me it’s finally
Okay to roam amongst thee
Maybe it’s
Confession time I’m long overdue
Time to lay it all  
Out there for him to see
As if he already hasn’t
My heaviest burdens
At the feet of the lord
For him to see and hear
Loud and clearly  
One day my
Appeal may be heard
And I shall be granted my freedom
To have all I need
Certainly none of this
In pure abundance
What a moment
Then maybe you’ll be able
See the clarity in my eyes
Feel my heart beat steadily
And then just then
I’ll be able to take off my black robe
That’s held me in it’s wrath
All my life
Scintillating skies no longer elude
They uplift and whisk away my soul
Finally knowing I’m whole again home

Life’s everlasting
Landslides devour my being
Drown the life
Right outta me
Soak up what’s left
And wrap me up head first
Is there ever
Enough elixir
To wear thee makeup off
Wash away
The razors edge
Taking the cape off
I can’t fly alone
Me versus me
Head to head
It’s always felt
Like a thick fog
I can’t see two feet
In front of me
From where I am standing
Illusions that bind
Mask my fears
And deepest pains
Hold me still when I’d rather not
The infinite sparks
In me that hide my blues
Scariest truest feelings
That make me sick
And keep me going at the same time
How could this be
Hiding me behind my eclipse
Solar flares burning doors
Afraid to come out of the dark
Sedated as the light burns
Me to ashes
As the day walker in me
Turns to sand
When the lights go out completely here

Cease and desist
Giving way to
Fact or fiction
Dangling your
Dangerous falsehoods
In my face
Puppet
Without a master
Strings cut
Re forecasting
What I yearn for
Covet could never be
Attained in such a venue
Praying aloud
Are my words
Be transmitted properly
Saving face
Seamless waters
They trickle
Supreme being
Never let me down
Life had other ideas
In store
Sanctity I need it
Like a covering of unlimited protection
Shout it aloud
To the masses
The accumulations hamper
Are only
Part of life’s true distractions
If you can stay lost in translation
Till the sun comes up
And the skies don’t swallow you
I am what I do
Not what others say
Bare bones retrieved
Cosmic revelations
Yet to be revealed
Seized by the machines of this matrix
Asking for my happy pill
To alleviate my being

Dancing willows
Spotless movements
Never my own
Monumental gains
Unachieved
Overcome
With attrition
Last call
Use me up
And just let me go
Life’s guilty pleasures
I never found comfort in
Unlit avenues
The face of
A thousands heartaches
The stillness
Painted me like a sad scenery
As everything
Else moved about  
A grounded flight sat and wondered
Flawed character
My nostalgia ran
It’s course
The sentiments only
Grew dimmer
As time stood still against me
I became frozen
I’d gladly
Trade a pound
Of my own flesh
For an ounce of ecstasy
My darkest days here
For a slice of the pie
In the sky
Self aware of just how
Baldy and broken I’ve always been
Self acceptance the one thing
I could never truly deliver for myself

In the blink
Of an eye
Devastating days
Led to years on thee run
When the storm clouds fade
At thee bottom
Dreaming of the top
What you want
From me you already got
Circle the wagons
Running in place
Not liking what I see
I’ve never been
Able to make amends
With myself
Maybe when
I’m gone they
Can finally take the noose off
Separate my soul
From this mind and body
That has ultimately let me down
Forget about life
That’s a whole other story
Every breath
Becomes harder then thee last
Convincing myself
Too keep my head in the game
When I’d rather just rip it off
Becomes harder and harder
Hindsight is twenty twenty
In my case the complete opposite
Semblance is me pretending
I’m somewhere else
Floating on a cloud
In someone else’s body and mind
My spirit wants what it wants
Freedom to break free
From me for eternity

Crossing over
Erase the
Undeniable hurting

The story I fumble through
Constantly gazing
Through an empty stare

Satellites hovering
Waiting to be
Discovered

Passing by
In my rearview
For only a moment

If only I noticed
You more before
I threw away

The greatest gift I was ever handed
Slight of hand
Mischievous glare

You had me
The moment are eyes locked up
Your my harshest mistake

Yet my greatest joy
A one way ticket to jubilee
Biggest regret by far

Losing
The one angel
Worth waking up too

I tumbled into a landslide
After you went away
When that truck drove out
Of the driveway

I fell to knees
Knowing **** well
I’d never truly

Recover myself to any degree

There is never
Enough heat
To revive me from the cold

Shivers that run ramped on
My dreaded soul
Without you

I feel such nothingness
As the emptiness twinges
The echos howl in pain

Crossing over
Erase thee
Undeniable hurting
The story I fumble through
Constantly
Gazing
Through an empty stare
Satellites
Hovering waiting
To be discovered
Passing by
In my rearview
For only a moment
If only I noticed
You more before
I threw away
The greatest gift I was ever handed 
Slight of hand
Mischievous glare
You had me
The moment are eyes locked up
Your my harshest mistake
Yet my greatest joy
A one way ticket to jubilee
Biggest regret by far
Losing
The one angel worth waking up too
I tumbled into a landslide
After you went away
When that truck drove out
Of the driveway
I fell to knees
Knowing **** well
I’d never truly
Recover myself to any degree
There is never enough heat
To revive me from the cold
Shivers that run ramped on
My dreaded soul without you
I feel such nothingness
As the emptiness twinges
The echos howl in pain

Spiraling
Silver spoons
Have lost there shine
Relapsing innocents
Flew thee cope  
Then came
The Intense retribution
In coming
Avalanche
Left with a
Splintered periscope
And tainted blood
Violently flowing
Creepy non scintillating
Deja vu setting in
Pivoting transitions
Retreating to calmer waters
May I find a path
To a
Unparalleled universe
When thee unknown
No longer scares you
Heavy critique falling by the wayside
Crumbling decades
The bad company
That kept me companion
No response do not resuscitate
I’m perfectly fine with that
Goodbyes are
Easy when
No one is alert
One more time
Around the track
Then I’m jumping ship
Future outcomes
The unpredictability of these
Uncertain times
Have taken the wind outta my sails
How  I’ve dreamed of something
More ideal
That I could never have here
May the shockwaves
Of this soiled place
Wash me away in the wind
Be felt with me
No longer in it

Confiding
In your belief
Senses revived
You raised me up
To a different plain
Awaiting eternity
Prefect motions
A pathway higher
You need no
Introduction
Epitome of all
You took
The shackles off
And no longer does the darkness
Reign over me
Prisoner of war released
The ultimate imprint
Stamp of approval
Even when I feel
Like I’ve done nothing to deserve it
The sum of all
Personas the vast majority of
All we see
Nothing greater
A divine providence
You retrieved a
Lost traveler
The things
I suffered through
Early on
Don’t compare to
Your unlimited sacrifice
Deep rooted
My struggles groomed
Who I have become today
Coming to the realization
Your behind anything
I could ever comprehend
A soloist who taught me
What it feels to be alive again
My one shining star hallelujah

SOMETHING LIKE A REVERIE
Volumes
That never shut off
Breathing in
Thee light and dark
Decipher fact from fiction
If you can
Apparitions
Far from a fairytale
Few and far
Shadows and shift shapers
Rolling winds
Ordinary wouldn’t
That be something
Unrelenting
Happy thoughts
Come and go
I wish they’d stay
A little bit longer
How can one
Be alive
Yet deep inside feel so
Dead to a world
He never belonged in
Often things can
Appear to good to be true
So never fall for thee lies
They can be misleading
And spread like wildfires
Why can’t I just stay here a
Little bit longer in this
Make believe place
My reverie dream state
Close the door and lock it up tight
Behind me
When I close my eyes
Things are suppose to be quiet
If only that were thee case
For someone like me
Let these elixirs fill me up
Help medicate my twisted thoughts
And erase thee melancholy
That continually eats
Away at my soul
Make me believe
Maybe for a moment
That it’s okay feeling thee way I do

Constant reminders
My mistaken
Masterpiece stolen
Canvas cracked
Down the middle
In need
Of a pick me up
I’m tired of the stupid
Games I can’t win
Festering
Radio frequencies
Changing tune
On a dime
Taunting
Telepathic waves
Tricked me for the umpteenth time
My assassin
Has me in it’s scope
Climbing
Up the ladder
Looking for my release valve
A guiding rope to help me
Outta here
Lapses in time
Warmer melodies
Take the hurt away
Endless drought
Then the rainstorms arrived
With the stroke of a brush
I slipped and
Fell again
Awoke in a harmonic dream state
Just let me be still
Here and pray in my pew
Reminders like shooting stars
Fireflies in mass
Like the
PTSD that comes in flurries
I can’t tune it out
Constant flashbacks
An array of madness
Mashes me like a bug
That stir the *** black
The unequivocal soundscapes
That I wanna hear outside the quiet
That my minds always been lacking

Red tape
Noisily penetrating
Where’s my quiet
Swan song
As dry bones rattle
A hint
Of understanding
Flew by the door
Framed by
Chewing manifestations
A un mesmerizing
Agonizing wrath
Unplug the lights
Tunnel visions exceedingly bad
Wild fires
Blazing a trail to nowhere
Catch and release
Kinetic energy’s subsiding
Saving every
Second of the day
Meant for someone else
A celebrations in order
Who would have thought
Kinder plateaus will now shine through  
Stranded on a beaten path
No longer still frame
A firmer clasp
Hold onto
The best parts of me
Remember what you want
And disregard the rest
Declining squalls no longer staying between the lines
As the colors of this world fade to gray

Succumb
Too the notions
Up for interpretation
The wheels that
Went flat yet kept on going
Proceed
With caution
Sightseers all aboard
In unlimited numbers
They flocked in droves
Vocalizations hammered
They often
Tasked me in there dwellings
And hindered my ways
Intersecting avenues
Should I have
Stand pact put
My foot down and just drove away
Instead I caved and parked
Running
Red lights
Like a bad habit
I couldn’t shake free
From
Along with the falling trees
That fell
And blocked my paths
Preventing me from going forward
Dissection by
Default
My unwavering
Imagination
In need of some fine tuning
The boulevards
That threw me in there wake
Riding in the carpool
Lane was never lonely enough
Because my stagecoach
Was always overflowing with
Hitchhikers that wouldn’t
Just take another train

Solar eclipse
In plain sight
Read ‘em and weep
I own
Up to all of it
Despite my best efforts
Those demons
And Convictions
Plied on top of each other
Scattered sins that burned me
Psychosomatic
Red rivers avenge
Truth be told
Body and mind
Incoherent
A deadman’s trigger
Incomplete
Never truly aligned
Seventeen thousand
Five hundred fifty nine days
Of life
Have felt like ten lifetimes to long
Tarnished goods
Windows are stained
Smudged down to the finest detail
Self assurance is shattered
Red skies flaunt
Where did my black butterfly go
To heavy to hold
The melting pieces of me
Cloak and dagger
My souls been
Wrapped up in cobwebs
Cocooned for more then enough time
Blow out the flame
On my candle  
And watch it flicker into thin air
And let me not be stained and shattered
At someone else’s expense any further

Culling chatter
Un~compromised
Dimming daylight  

Sidelined passions
Juxtapositions
Wide eyed

Apples to oranges

My best form
Of communication

Is writing

Airing out my *****
Laundry
And it comes

So naturally

My formulas are
Unique in stature
Reaping the rewards

An inept understanding

To some

Birth of passage
A tedious task
Forecasting what may become

Certain views
When expressed
By a spiral of emotions

Can be unpredictable

A preview
Of what’s to come
Won’t always be followed by others

Instant gratification

Can’t come fast enough
A perfect posture

I’m far from

Illuminating ideas
Conceiving into form

The sweet aroma

Spreads like an inferno
A self indulgent
Trip inside the roller coasters

Of mind

They need to have
Those precise
Precious monumental gains

To bloom

Wheels are churning
Curiosity is peaking

It’s pleasing head through

Stanzas are slowly being burnt
Into mind
Like a fortress

And when I write

It may sound haywire  
But by stance will always
Remain the same

Right in two  

Till I’m no longer in the drivers seat

Culling chatter
Un compromised
Dimming daylight
Sidelined passions
Juxtapositions
Wide eyed
Apples to oranges
My best form
Of communication
Is writing airing
Out my ***** laundry
And it
Comes so naturally
My formulas
Are unique in stature
Reaping the rewards
An inept understanding
To some
Birth of passage
A tedious task
Forecasting what may become
Certain views
When expressed
By a spiral of emotions
Can be unpredictable
A preview
Of what’s to come
Won’t always be followed by others
Instant gratification
Can’t come fast enough
A perfect posture
I’m far from
Illuminating ideas
Conceiving into form
The sweet aroma
Spreads like an inferno
A self indulgent
Trip inside the roller coasters
Of mind
They need to have
Those precise
Precious monumental
Gains to bloom
Wheels are churning
Curiosity
Is peaking it’s pleasing
Head through
Stanzas are slowly being burnt
Into mind like a fortress
And when I write
It may sound haywire  
But by stance will always
Remain the same right in two
Till I’m no longer in the drivers seat

Ever glow
Walking instep
A seamless transition
Before I go
Haunting lullabies
My weary dreary
Anguish
Pockets
Full of misery
A nameless soul
Outmatched
Red light won’t change
Grappling hook
One eye opened
The ticking
Clock on my wall
Hasn’t moved in years
Retribution day is
Just around the corner
Time to put the
Book down
Complete surrender
Living on borrowed
Time somethings gotta give
By now
If this is
What hell looks like
I’m running the other direction
I’ll take a one way
Ticket to heaven
I’m starting
To believe this planet
May be
The indications are all around me
Catastrophic events of life
Have proven me right
They occur far to often
In my circles
To tell me different
For it not to be
Poor ole me I say
Stuck between a rock and
A hard place
Standing still in neutral

Intensely deep within  
The lifeless gravity
Possessed by past images
They run wild
Obsessions a plenty
Sirens buzzing
Tread lightly
Brighter side of grey
It all boils down to this
Why have you not
Treated me better like an equal
Salvage break
Down thee barriers
Revive a one off like me
Please make sense
Of this preoccupied mess
Circulating thoughts
Swallow me
Something all too familiar
Renting space
Has always been a problem
There is zero room
For failure
It getting hard to focus
Is there rest from
My weary mind
Out of touch with reality
I’d rather step out of my mind  
And not return
May I float on a cloud
Of perpetual serenity
One by one slow down already
Cut the cloth null and void
I don’t wanna
Play your ***** games anymore
Staring deeply into your darkness
Has taken the life out of me
As I’ve plummeted to the bottom
All I ask is you leave me alone
And let me unravel quietly without you

Whistleblower
Temptations
I’m fully aware of
As my subconscious
Mind drifts
Swallows me up
Hallucinations bring me joy
Extinction becomes
More and more possible
Hypnotized by a chaotic life
As the doubt creeps
And crawls
The air
Is haunting me
A dream within a dream
Writings on thee wall
Cover up my flaws
Flex out the poison of my existence
As my veins are cleansed
Sedate my
Senses till I become new
Till there’s zero chance
Of me becoming me again
Those voices
That mocked and laughed
Cracked me apart
Had there way
I knew them all too well
Till I was blue
In the face  
They never faded out
They smashed and grabbed
What they wanted
As my head hit the ground
Until my bubble was burst
Sanity was all but lost at some point
Subliminal messages
Appeared without notice
And put a wrench in my spokes

Battle after battle
Remembering everything
Yet moving forward
The bottles
That I couldn’t
Quit fast enough
The devil almost killed me
A past that will
Never define my whole story
Was never truly me
Only a disguise
I finally took off
The sun
Almost went down
And never came back up
As I struggled to breathe
Keep myself afloat
Looking back
Has become aggravating
As the darkness
Found another place to roam
Other then the hallways in my head
I got sober
I long for much more these days
Battered and bruised
I’ve bled enough
I no longer crave the self medication
That I thought was my way outta here
The poison that numbed me
For a almost a lifetime
Each bottle told a story
All its own
A sad tale of the longest
Lonely days and nights
Of my life
Thee attempt to annihilate my soul
And crush my spirit forever
Was defeated head on
Yet I’m here today standing taller
And prouder then ever
While everyone else thought I
Was a goner for sure
But he had other plans in
Store for me

Turn
The other cheek
Good intentions
Never reformed
Sun lit
In the backdrops
Phantom applause
Menaces in a bundle
One hit wonder
Pulsating reruns
Turn the thermostat
Off already
Reiterating clauses
Like a ballad
You can’t get outta your mind
Stuck completely
In it’s clutches
In the shallow
Graves that
Chewed me up
Spit back out to the surface
On the hunt for my survival
Eyes rolling
Shenanigans powerful  
A smugness
Without boundaries
You did your homework
Stalked me to the ends of the earth
And did whatever you saw fit
Full transparency
My manuscript
Was written
By a two faced traitor
A stealer of dreams
Stalker of hope
They stole the words
From right out
Underneath me
Finding
Clarity no more smokey gloom
Teleprompter goes dark in due time

I’m eternally thankful to have found this WEBSITE!!! WITH SUCH TALENTED FOLK… THANKS TO ALL WHO READ MY POEMS… AND THE FEEDBACK IS AWESOME!!! 👏 FINALLY I FEEL LIKE IM BEING HEARD PROPERLY… GOD BLESS YOU ALL GODSPEED 🙏🙏🙏