Covered in dirt
Crossing over a bridge
Awaiting a Eulogy
Like a faint whisper
Grab a loudspeaker
Somethings are
Better left unsaid
If you want my truths
Pick up my journals
And read my poetry
Because there ain’t nothing
Hiding there I hold back nothing
I kept a lot
To myself for good reason
I’ve always been good
At stuffing my suitcase
To thee brim
And throwing it in the closet
Jamming everything down
Numbing myself to the core
It’s hard being sober
If people knew how I truly
Felt deep inside
They’d probably run the other direction
And hate me like I’ve
Always hated myself
I put my mask on when I have to
Pretend I’m doing okay
Play there stupid games
When I’d rather just drift off
Into that dark corner off the room
Me myself and I
And the voices in my head
That I’ve dreaded all my life
Words best not spoken…

Continuum
Reality never added up
Walking a tightrope
Underneath the layers piled up
Pulling the covers
Over my head nonstop
As life was
Viciously attacking me from all sides
Frozen being
This world passed me by
Like a train wreck
Waiting to happen
Beggar
You slowly sunk your
Teeth into my soul
Life hasn’t always
Painted thee prettiest of pictures
The pain on
My hands was not
Of my design
Buried
In the trenches
Life murdered
My dreams one by one
What was left after that
Made each breath
That much harder to find
Seeing thee things I did
Only flawed me that much more
Why did it have to be me
Always caught in the crossfire
A passer by I was
Living life through a fractured lens
Like a kaleidoscope
Where dreams came to die
Life was never easy on the eyes
Pleasant
Far from anything
I would have come up with on my own
If only there was a better story to tell
Believe you me I would have
Certainly done so beforehand

Engraved
Blistered and pealed
The scars
I wear
Anyway
You dissect it
Self inflicted wounds
Unkept promises
Piercing thorns
Casting shadows
Fall in line
Unresolved questions
Was a curse
Bestowed upon me
Before I was ever granted
My first breath or step
I’m all outta wishes
Good intentions
Flipped upside down
Tortured my insides
Got ripped apart
My wreckage
Wore me like a bad habit
Bullet proof I was not
The rounds that penetrated
Hit there mark every time
Without concern
What couldn’t shield me
From myself the retaliations that
Swooped in
Like vultures
The worse I felt
Thee farther I fell down the rabbit hole
The irony is none of this
Has ever made a bit of sense to me
At times has felt like a reoccurring 
Bad nightmare
I can’t wake from
Yet for some reason I stand here still
Today shell shocked

Combustion
Adversary’s plentiful
My ruptured fantasy
Unlimited
Protection the enemy
Is out to severe me
Your majesty
I’ve seen your
Handy work first hand
Decaying fossils
Put my puzzle
Back together in
Some working order
Give me
Shelter from
The exertion that ******
Overreaching
Quick to react
The sum
Of all parts is magnetic
Off thee charts
Feeling a bit off
My aim must
Have led me astray
Win lose or draw
Life can really
Do a number on a soul
Tally up the score
And you come up empty
Guidance system
Malfunctions again
A seismic shock
Sends you spiraling
Chain reactions only counter act  
Your balance
One rarely recovers from
Certain circumstances in life
Sometimes we don’t
Realize what we have
Until it’s gone forever
Better left
Untouched
Overrun with grief
The hardest goodbyes
Will shake you
To thee core
Majesty
Grant me complete asylum from
The antagonistic events of this realm

Pay no homage
To the old me
And let him lay buried
Reborn ever so slowly
With a slight of hand
Removing the guilt
Taking of my full metal jacket
Hope for a better day
Including me
One minute at a time
Evaporating
Hemorrhaging thoughts
Future tripping
Use to be my muse
Kiss of death
Eye for an eye
Hour glass used
To be half empty
Now it’s fuller then ever
Shades of grey
Replaced with pearly white sands
Rainbows of epic lights
Dancing all around
Kaleidoscope one track mind  
Have in finally escaped the enemy
Ecosystem needed
A reboot
My thoughts no longer
Paralyze me in my tracks
Like they used too
My happier visions
And striving spirt
Need more room to breathe freely
As I roam this life
Ever searching
With the weight of the past
Falling off of my shoulders
Piece by piece
As he shields me from my inner demons
My higher power
I’m nothing without you
All the praise and glory are yours alone

Noise pollution
Crowded spaces
What kind of spell
Have I fallen under
Casting into my whole being
You have
How many things
Have to feel me up with remorse
No vacancy
Would be my greatest
Request
My thoughts have
Always overstayed there welcome
Bogged me down
Tree of life
Soiled
Ying to my Yang
A habitual creature I am
Back and forth I go
I’m more nocturnal
Thee night has always
Appealed to me more
While thee day walkers roam
I toss and turn
Trying to find a stop
I can get off at
This overcrowded train ride
Has been an endless one
An unwelcome highway
Static electricity shocks my nerves
Too the core
If there’s an off
Switch I can’t seem
Too locate it
When my body’s to
Worn out to fight  
My mind fires on all cylinders
Will my shooting
Stars ever truly align fully
Will my insomnia ever let me rest
As my warped mind
Fails to deescalate the situations
Comfortably for a minute alone

Misaligned
Alter me
Imitate
What could be
Farther from thee truth
An anonymous
Gift
What could be better
A bestowed presence
At last
Take a deep breath in
Exhale finally at the end
Of thee rainbow
Permanently gone all frustrations
You ever had
Silence takes hold
Like a calm you can’t imagine
Weapon and the wound
Put down released
What I yearn for is
A soft quiet embrace with you
Break me free
From all this chaos
That makes my soul shiver
As my mind quivers
An uninviting melody replays
What I require is silence
And a peaceful tone
That’s eluded me here my entire life
A quiet mind with every fiber of my being
Is all I ask for

Heart Beats
Barely a sound
Dust in the wind
The moons gone dark
Smashed into
Pieces a killer for hire
Bullets
With butterfly wings
Tears fill my soul
Ring around the sun
Haven’t I mourned enough
Discrepancies a plenty
Divine intervention show face
Unresolved torment
Why does the dark
Wear me like a coat
Fill the voids
I can’t seem to fill myself
Be my everlasting hope
Wings of gold
Wanting to live
And waiting on yourself
There’s a big difference
It could be a while
They are two different
Ends of the stick
Spectrums a must
Infinite energy in abundant supply
Healing
Is what I desire the most
My quiet reverie swoop me up
Light of light
My halo of hope
I cling too
It’s far to easy
To turn your back
On yourself
Fall into the trap of the enemy
Yet no matter how
Destructive I’ve been
You’ve been the one constant
My fortress and rock
Blind to the simple fact that
I can’t be fully alive without your grace
I’ll never take you for granted
All I want is to be by your side one day
My grandeur

Hovering above
If one things
For certain
The wind beneath
My sails
Has kept me afloat
Galaxy of beauty
A beacon of light
Reign down
On me some more
Plant your seed in me permanently
Shadows dissolving
Aching
From point
A to point B
Not anymore
A shifting state
High Jack Heaven
And drop it in my lap
Leave hell alone
A token splendor
Magic carpet ride
My eternal ascension
One day
This is only temporary
It will not house you forever
Unlock the possibilities
You’ll never leave me
Never forsake me
Your soul will be revived
I promise
Words kept inside
That never made it to the light
Because I never really
Knew how to express myself clearly
I felt a little bit off
But you always knew  
What I was feeling
Yet not once you held that against me
My pentagrams light up
Thee night sky’s
As I climb skyscrapers
To get to you
Till the dawn of a new day comes
Home one day I will be housed
And protected from this wicked world
And all the evil that comes with it

Sacrificing
My well being
Roll of the dice
Stoic to a degree
A heavy price
Was paid
Misplaced pictures
Passing time
Never put my mind at ease
My youth
And all between
Wildfires wiped
Me out
Waking up
Became such a heavy burden
For thee
Longest time
I was far from okay
Yet no one knew
Just how badly I was hurting
Inside but me
Holding on for dear life
You held me together
The pain
Piled up tell it overflowed
Guess it had to go
Somewhere after
The dam finally burst
The nap sack I carried
Around outweighed anything
You could ever imagine
Or ever want to experience
First hand
But eventually the past
Washed away into another tributary
And my life raft took me a shore
To better days I wouldn’t trade for anything

I’M HONESTLY NOT BOOK SMART. OR WELL EDUCATED!!! BUT THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOX TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING AND THEN SOME!!! AND I DON’T WANNA TOOT MY OWN HORN… BUT I THINK I WRITE EXTRODINARY POETRY… MANY LAYERS INDEED ✍️☀️👊

White noises
Mirrors on
Thee walls
Hindsight’s
Twenty twenty
Illuminate my soul
And let me breathe
Erasing the
Flesh and bone
Levitating my spirit to
A higher ground
Putting a bandage on
Wounds that never healed properly
Only crippled me
Erasing my wavering
Subconsciousness
If only I could
Walk on water
Let alone on my own two feet
The simplest
Things that got
Me through
The toughest years of my life
I used to
Stair right through
My own reflection
Like there was a hole
To nowhere
Straight through my soul
Life would glare repeatedly
Will it ever be found in time
What could ever put it back
Together again
Only you
My shadow guided me
Like an evil twin
Attached at birth
But now I’ve evolved and
Broken free
Been transformed
Into a new being
I no longer hesitate to
To just be me regardless of
My circumstances
Knowing my state of mind
Will never define me as a whole

Blessings that
Never came gift wrapped
Screeching sounds
Syllables overlap
Often superimposed
My being
Create and replace
Resolve a face without
Meaning
Switching places would
Have been all so grand
Petrified forests
I ran through
The thorns on my sides still sting
My tumultuous depths
Only widened thee longer I ran
In place
Tears filled
The air I breathed
My hero
Is someone I’ve never
Met let alone seen
With my own eyes
Luxuries taken
For granted
Selfish desires only
Led me into addiction
Self medicating astray
Sitting alone on my perch
If perfection
Was a currency
I’d be broke
Life hasn’t always
Painted the prettiest of pictures
Just give me my
Spoken word and a playlist
Of my choice
And sky’s the limit
What might come out
Because these are the
Only real truths I have
These are not made up stories
Sugar coated
With pixie dust
About how the grass is
Always greener on the other side
Because my dilemmas have
Always told me different story

Supernova
Seeping in your deep haze
When will I rise above
Repenting
In a room full of angels
Where have your
Wings gone so calloused
You are
How deep does
The rabbit hole go
Free of mind
Bleed out my thoughts
Three strikes
Your out
Like a cat with nine lives
No more left
Purge this dungeon
The cruelty in vain
A fabricated version
I’m tired of watching
Shed this skin
Ecdysis my soul
Like a snake
And give me a new coat
One day
My soul will rejoice
The passive aggressiveness
Will falter to smoke
Confessions of
A man who feels more then he should
Too much I overthink
I pray for
My wrong doings and transgressions
Forged in fire
They turned me against my will
Just thee
Tip of the iceberg
Time for a mic drop
A more inviting stage
Extraordinary forces excelled
Against me exceeded my expectations
A pain threshold
With no bounds
What a living object can withstand
Before he finally breaks
The unlimited obstacles
Unhinged toxins of this life  
I’m long overdue rundown like timber
In need of my absolution indeed

Hollowed out
Like
A match to a flame
My viscera
Destiny had
Other ideas
One eyes on the prize
Thee others shut
Subjected negligence
Begging for relief
Buying a oneway ticket
Bursting colors
Like a pinwheel
Motions in the shadows
Shaped my shores
Clinging to me
Plucking me over
Like a bad habit
It only intimidated
The stronger it became
Pushing and pulling me
Tug of war
The hurt locker
Took it’s toll  
Like clockwork why couldn’t
Time just stand still
Thee abyss
Forged me in it’s venom
Slowly stripped my sanity
And rained on my parade
Unlike me my discombobulated circuit board overloaded
And had me asking
Who the hell was I anyway

Convicted
You had zero remorse
Hijacked before me
You stole
What was rightfully mine
A calculated move
I woke from
A stupor
My derailing train jumped
Thee tracks
It just had to be
Me a splitting
Image of you
Your dark
Gospel cast a spell
I needed a recourse
Swinging for
The fences never
Added up
Duplicated you and I
What a shame
A white picket storyline
Wrapped up neatly in a bow
Where is my happy ending
Fact or fiction
Secondhand smoke
I should be
Six feet under
As the
Red moon burns
Disintegrates whatever’s left
I haven’t a clue
Only adds too
The pure distain I’ve felt
That’s plagued me
Has slowly ate away at my soul
The lore of wrong
That has glued itself to me
My immoral compass
I lost my direction
Before I ever knew which way to go
A mythical creature
I became
Some lie made up of everyone’s else’s
Body of work
Wipe the slate clean
And tell my a real story for once
The absolute truth
And keep your tireless fables for yourself

Dead end
No validation
Hourglass hounded
Turned to boulders
The weight
Of my mistakes bogged me down
Paranoia only harped
Life took the best
Parts of me
And disintegrated them
Synthetic testimony
Not of mind
A thief swept
In caught red handed
Starting line
Not what I had hoped for
It was a tough pill to swallow
Hopefully the finish line
Will measure up
Live up to the billing
Apparently the great devine
Is awaiting my arrival
Bare bones
Cover me up in satin linens
Laying all
My cards on the table
I folded long ago
I’ve never had a poker face
But my joker mask hasn’t
Been hard to find when I wanna hide
Behind my disguise
Skipping rocks
All day
Longing for a easy breath
Beaten paths stingy
Far to many
Where’s my yellow brick road at
I want too flow
Freely like
The bluest seas
Dance in the whitest of sands
Fly in the highest of skies
Have the wind at my back
Moving me forward
To a much more appropriate place
And feel the gleaming light
Of the sun that’s eluded
Me as I stayed in bed  
Depressed most of my life
Predetermined or not
Life threw punches at me
And watched me struggle to
Regain my footing
As the heavy impacts knocked
Me flat on my face

If your thee
Only friend I've got
Then I've already won
Luckiest man alive
Grateful are paths crossed
Sometimes
You just know
Your in awe
Savor certain things more the others
They stand out undeniably
A sign
Gift from thee heavens
Beyond our expectations
Worth a second glance
Undeniable
Infatuation the stars aligned
Truly meant to be
Connection unmistakable friction
Hard to miss
Impossible not to feel
You wanna grab hold of
Holds like glue
A bond that can never be broken
Light years away
Feels like we're in the same room
The world needs more like you
Gleaming eyes paradise
A calming voice of reason
Not a bad bone in your body
A rare find
Warming heart sensitive soul
Better person
Similar circumstances experiences
No judgements we are equals
You understand me better then I even know myself
We relate to each other more then most ever will
I find true comfort a calmness
Just knowing your there
Artistic deep minded thinkers get along best
So it would seem love each other unconditionally
And I wouldn't want it any other way

Lines on my face
Worn dancing over me
Taxing realizations
Sensations enchanting
The nearness of you
Yellow and blue
Make green sophisticated
Complications strewn
Scraps of torn pieces
Strung together
Paper airplane
Ready to fly
There's a hunger
A longing to breathe freely
Escape thee unreliable sources
Sketches drawn in the sand
Washed up lagging behind
Caught in the tide lost at shore
An emptiness complains the parts that aren't me
Yet for some reason always present
And I'm daydreaming fiercely
Independently somewhere else come away with me
Let's combine walk together
I could almost go there
Just to watch you be seen
If I could stay asleep
Dream in continuum cause
I don't want to leave
Thee comfort of the vividness
That I find comforting while I'm there
Pieces of a dream effortlessly floating in air
In the morning streets of my mind

MURAL
Open mindedness
Casual tones
You have to be open
To exploring the many possibilities
When it comes to what you might see
Cassiopeia
The northern lights
Illuminating illustrations
Come to life
Trajectories expand
What starts out
As nothing more then a vision
Blimp on the screen
A simple idea
Eventually is executed in it's truest form
Plural elements
Thee imagination
Has a mind all it's own
Absolutely nothing's off limits
With an end goal in mind
Undivided
There are different
Shades and contrasts
Forms of artistic
Expressions creativity
They come in all shapes and sizes
Some use words others use images
Sounds etcetera
The freedom to create
As we see fit
A priceless blessing
The gift that keeps on giving
Empty rural walls
Plain and bare
To thee corners of the earth
Across many continents
Day after day stories are being told
Paint me a picture
Tell me a story
I'm in need of some
Harmonizing illustrations
Distinguishing characteristics
I can call my own
Thee architect
Designer and creator
Brain storming tirelessly
To come to a conclusion
A finished blueprint
Now we may proceed
Gathering my supplies
Laying out plans
Finding the necessary ideas
Before it's too late
To execute a work of art
My final masterpiece
Something that will leave
A lasting impression for years too come
Remembered by all
Clear thee air
Carve your initials
In me
And make me relate
Splattering paint all over the walls
Mushing it all in
Doesn't appear to be much
But if you look deeply enough
You just might be surprised
Caught off guard
There's more then meets thee eye
In things that are silent different
A picture speaks a thousand words maybe more
Mural on the wall vastly under appreciated

Chaotic syndromes
Unglued
My spiteful neurotic
Behaviors
Pretexts I never benefited from
Bullies on thee block
Reapers antagonized
Angels swarmed
And tried to protect
Protesting to no avail
It’s unreal
What you miss when
Your deep inside the flames
But when you finally
Claw your way out
And you escape
Certain spaces everything
Comes to light the forefront
Starts pacing around
The afterglow quickly shy’s away
And walks the other direction
Marked by a comatose
Frame of mind
Pull the plug
And let your feelings trample
You missed the mark not the first time
Balking at the fact
I knew I never fit in
Wandering along stumbling
Fumbled blueprints
It wasn’t my makers fault
The adults in the room
I point the finger at them
Rooted in more misdeeds
That I’ve lost count
Misread scriptures put the book down
Cavernous displays
Front and center
I should have been an after thought
As I plucked away the piranhas
One by one
Yet I became the black sheep anyway

Replicated
Never duplicated
Leaning forward
Tumbling
Twelve steps backwards
Backhand blues
Struck me again
Omitting me
From me
Etched in
Braille yet
Somehow I understand
My own language
The crowded streets
Forged in my head
I wish I could unplug them
Yet they are the reason
I create with such flawlessness
Shivers in the
Tiniest crevasses
I’ve come to grips
With my psyche
And the abilities to express
Myself differently
The plethora of ideas
That run at mach speed
Fire on all cylinders
I just try my
Best too keep them all at bay
Yet it can’t seem too
And create something anew
Stuck in a daze
My happiest place
The juices never stop flowing
Like a finger
Pulling the pin from
A hand grenade explosion
Writing seems to be
My only true coping mechanism
In every situation
It all feels so relatable
Despite the hectic frustrations
That run me over at times
You will never see another me
I’m far from imitation
It’s only me trying to find
My true meaning in life
Yet maybe I already have

My chronicles
Invaded my
Bloodstream
Divide and conquer
Trials and tribulations
Was it all worth it
Have any true merit  
Karmas a beast
Where’s my dogma
Rainbows in the sky
My complacent
Continuum
A momentary lapse
What I needed
To hear
The end
Only became thee beginning
At a loss for words
Sweet smells
Granted immunity
Balance and clarity
Behold holy water
Phosphorescence
Heavens gates at last
Everything before irrelevant
Maybe it was bad luck
Bad timing
Just not meant to be
Regardless of the circumstances
Painless and whole
I don’t hurt like it used to
Can’t feel anything but the harmony
Of this vast undiscovered universe
Carve
Me out a true home
Erase the dark
Where has my dark passenger
Gone too finally vanished
Free to roam as I please
When the fires
Put out completely
And the winds
Die down fail to swoop
My perfect moment
Has finally come to the forefront
I can’t hardly imagine it
But I’ve pictured it a thousand times
Over and over
Standing firmly before you
Knowing I’m finally exactly
Where I’m suppose to be
And truly belong

Freedom from myself
Saved by grace  
Enslaved in my head
This all feels so wrong
Waiting for the end to take me
Gazing upward
Who am I to say
Times up
Demoralizing horrors
Self hatred
Demons zeroed in
Hell came
In a hand basket
Today came and went
And I decided I’d rather
Not see tomorrow
Living in this body
My mind is just not doing me
Any good
I’ve been living on borrowed time
And now I wanna hand
In my voucher
I’m just so tired
And the fight in me is gone
I want peace and quiet
Nothing else
Face facts I should have
Been gone a long long time ago
Nothing has been more apparent
The here and now doesn’t mean much
Probably never has
Have I ever truly enjoyed life
I think I’ll take that
To thee grave with me
Mourning there after

Speed of sound
Without restraint
The birds and
The bees
Flying in the oppositions skies
Back to square one
Just because
We are blood
Doesn’t make us family
Even if
The lights are
On doesn’t mean
Anyone’s home
Born and
Left on a strangers
Front porch
To fend for myself
Locked doors
Unanswered questions
A plenty
The wars that
Were waged
Battles I fought against
Absentee parents
***** donors
Hit and run I was the victim
The mother and father
I never knew
I had were never present
Who cut a hole right through
My soul  
Left the pieces of me
To pick up alone
And the puzzles still incomplete
In the grand scheme of things
A undeniable cruelty
That will not be forgiven
I just cant wrap my head around
Uninhibited my screams will
Never stop till the day the anger
Dies all together

Ever glow
Walking instep
A seamless transition
Before I go
Haunting lullabies
My weary dreary
Anguish
Pockets
Full of misery
A nameless soul
Outmatched
Red light won’t change
Grappling hook
One eye opened
The ticking
Clock on my wall
Hasn’t moved in years
Retribution day is
Just around the corner
Time to put the
Book down
Complete surrender
Living on borrowed
Time somethings gotta give
By now
If this is
What hell looks like
I’m running the other direction
I’ll take a one way
Ticket to heaven
I’m starting
To believe this planet
May be
The indications are all around me
Catastrophic events of life
Have proven me right
They occur far to often
In my circles
To tell me different
For it not to be
Poor ole me I say
Stuck between a rock and
A hard place
Standing still in neutral

Shadow games
How it never went
Disowned
The Devil was out to
Get me
My sweet surrender
That may or may not
Show it’s face
Couldn’t come fast enough
I’d have to learn
Things the hard way
If you open up
Pandora’s box
Eventually there will be
A chain reaction of events
Running mach five
With my hair on fire
Trying to fill
The voids
In search
Of a friend a quick fix
And one sip
From the chalice
And I was hooked
As the poison turned me upside down
Complete control was granted  
The repercussions would become
An overkill of sorts
Eventually do a number on
Me next place I’d hit
Is rock bottom
The cold lonely
Nights behind the bottles
Amounted to nothing
The emptier I became
Looking to fill the shelf’s
In need of some real company
As I numbed myself
To no avail
Rejections the absence
Of true love
Filled my heart with hatered
How could I ever truly
Love another
When I hated myself with a passion
I just wanted to blanket
Myself and numb out a world
That didn’t feel right
And to top it off
How badly I was bleeding inside
Really made hurting that much worse
Harder to even breathe
With no end in sight

I’m flawed
Not a saint immoral
Lingering regrets
Longing for something that
Resembles Heaven
Slaying the mighty beast
Leaving him incapacitated
When will my hell
Freeze over cease to be
No resolve all out of glimpses
Hashing out looking for
A needle in a hay stack
High as a kite
One of a kind
My last stand
A one off
Deserted roads
I drank myself to death with the devil
Never worth a nickel of my time
But who really cares
I can count my true friends
On one finger to hell
With all my acquaintances they’ve
Been gone for decades now
Smoke screens feel the air
No false alarms
Inside I should have known invalid
My hyperbaric chambers
Cut wide open
Only one holds the key
To my salvation
Humble thee who’s ungrateful
And doesn’t want any of this
My candle burns
At both ends
Dry bones
A carbon copy
I’m tired of looking at
In need of my refreshing sanctuary
Show yourself
Rise up and guide thee
But it maybe too late
Hanging on a whim
And a prayer
I’m tired of my story
It’s less then lackluster
At least that’s what I’ve been told
Maybe I’m jealous
Envious of what I can’t have
Or become
Truthfully I’m just bored
Trying to be me
It’s an overwhelming task
With excruciating circumstances
A complete overkill if you ask me totally mundane

Fraying
Paper heart cuts
A penny for my thoughts
The sinking feelings
In the back of my head
Swell
Has the quicksand won
Falling short
The hourglass has fallen
Fly on the wall
Shocked
Talking to god
Black butterfly sputters
Stuck in a cocoon
Trying to disguise
The hurting
Defuse the situation
At all cost
Mourning
When the sun
Won’t rise on your street
Advertisements cold and wretched
Far from fake news
From shore to shore
It continues to print tirelessly
Realistically
What exactly
Am I looking at
Head in my hands
All this blasphemy
Nazareth
Paint a prettier scenery
Produce much better results
Someone call a hearse
Inner circle
Who’s pulling the strings
Holy wars
I’m all ears
Dark ballads
Never missed
There mark
They mocked and prodded
Any chance they got
No vacancy sign
Guess it wasn’t bright enough to see
Clearly
Yet you all lived
In my head rent free
Like a bad neighborhood since birth
And I want what I’m owed
Plus back pay
A billboard that should be
Burned to scrap donated elsewhere
Idyll as I am
I’ll take a one way ticket to a new euphoria

Untamed
Born I died
Checkmate
Lock and key
Lack luster
Picket signs
No longer on strike
A proper entity  
Hell in a hand basket
Passed down
Ideally mine
Life rewritten
My Neon grave
Future tripping never
Achieved anything
Salivating
Constellations
Apples to oranges dissident
That which I inherited
Coercion backfired
If I could play god
Even conceive the thought
Entertain the power
To act out on my own
Create my own life
How selfish of me
Hypothetically
Traveling back I would have written
A magnificent story
My perfect scenario
Wrapped up neatly in swine
If I’d had a say
I would have laid
Out a much better path
Heck I’d probably have been gone a
Long long time ago
I’ve always over conceptualized
The life I never had
My own death mattered more to me
Rather then run a sprint
And find the finish line to my marathon

Faint sun burns
In the dark
Break down this fortress
Detached from
Reality
Growing impatient
Alter the mistakes
A purpose for pain
When sentiments align
And the static subsides
Suddenly
All the commotion
Stops
To the right
Soul a connection
Undoubtedly uncanny
It’s a rare feat
To cross
Paths with someone
Who sees life like you do
Almost or to good to be true
One in million
A almost exact wavelength collides
An explosion of sorts
Who would have thought
And for a moment
It all makes sense
Why everyone else is clueless
Because they’ve never been
Where we have
And probably never will
If we shut down
Well there’s a **** good reason
Behind it
To go rouge
So leave it alone
The conversations feel effortless
What a relief
One in the same
And the deep feelings are mutual
Go summon
All thee angles
And tell them we are ready
Why not wait tell tomorrow
Today’s a good a day as any

I’m eternally thankful to have found this WEBSITE!!! WITH SUCH TALENTED FOLK… THANKS TO ALL WHO READ MY POEMS… AND THE FEEDBACK IS AWESOME!!! 👏 FINALLY I FEEL LIKE IM BEING HEARD PROPERLY… GOD BLESS YOU ALL GODSPEED 🙏🙏🙏

Spiraling
Silver spoons
Have lost there shine
Relapsing innocents
Flew thee cope  
Then came
The Intense retribution
In coming
Avalanche
Left with a
Splintered periscope
And tainted blood
Violently flowing
Creepy non scintillating
Deja vu setting in
Pivoting transitions
Retreating to calmer waters
May I find a path
To a
Unparalleled universe
When thee unknown
No longer scares you
Heavy critique falling by the wayside
Crumbling decades
The bad company
That kept me companion
No response do not resuscitate
I’m perfectly fine with that
Goodbyes are
Easy when
No one is alert
One more time
Around the track
Then I’m jumping ship
Future outcomes
The unpredictability of these
Uncertain times
Have taken the wind outta my sails
How  I’ve dreamed of something
More ideal
That I could never have here
May the shockwaves
Of this soiled place
Wash me away in the wind
Be felt with me
No longer in it

Stained glass
Hearts on fire
Adaptability
Out of reach
If only
My lonely captivity wouldn’t
Have enslaved me
Eviction notice
Where’s my nirvana
Spinning off axis
Chutes and ladders  
Where’s my
Off ramp
My unappealing entity
I’m tangled in it
Shattered hope
Lost somewhere in the sky
Black and gray never conformed to
Grave robber
The villain to my hero
A deity
Fast roping me to safety
The one who knows
And sees all
Please just let me go
Caving in under the pressure
I’m undesirable
Please abort this mission
And move on to the next one
Orphaned caterpillar
Never blossomed into a butterfly
Why did you give
Me life
To just let it be wasted
Away without merit  
On other people’s careless betrayals
Impersonating someone else
Became a sick game
There was
No regard for my emotional stability
My imperfections became
A muse
For my unsettling nerves

Way past pleasantries
Incoming dissension
Hold your applause
Zero gravity
Let me down slowly
A smoking gun
Is that my true fate
Far from a truce
Is it really necessary
At this point
Chemical reactions
Malfunctions are far to common
In my spaces
Refraining my next move
Could be my last
Paper lanterns burning in the distance
Empty chairs
Become very ordinary
Anticipating where
My pain will hit me the most
Misdirected
Unfortunately
It’s my own to bare
Why the hell can’t it ease up
Even a little
Serenity oh how I
Wish you’d sweep me up
And wrap me in your tender arms  
Where exactly
Can I find that kind for comfort here
I’ve all but given up on
Because I can’t tune out
Control the noise levels that
Run lividly through me
Because maybe in this life
I just don’t deserve it
And I’ve just accepted that fact
That maybe
I’ve just had bad luck
Along the way
When others should have been
Paying attention
Instead they ran the other direction
And
I’ve been confiscated by
My own impersonator for an ample period

Pop the cork
And unleash
All your sorrows
Housed in
Plexiglass
Knee deep in
The times
That evaded me
Border line insane
Not centered
You reap what you sow
I’d rather be
More grounded
No amount of love here
Could seal up my seeping wounds
The glowing embers
Oh how
I wish I cloud erase them
Digging up dirt
Diving in head first pilling
Up on top of me
As I wish upon
A star am I all out of wishes
Maybe one day
The agony will dissipate
Every which
Way I look
Starving for
Something greater then me
When will my shoes finally
Fit properly
Always searching for
A simpler alternative to
My mind of madness
It amazing what you can get used too
A rugged complexion
That’s hard to understand
Resembling
Anything that I’ve been unable
To translate into something readable

Back porch blues
I’m seeing ghosts
Skimming through
The pages
Burning bridges
Searching
For glory in my hell
Unaccompanied
Guilty innocence
What a pity
Had it all stripped just like that  
Orphaned
That look in your
Eyes that echos in pain
The sad little
Boy who cried
Wolf and no one came
Running to save him
How could his parents
Be so cruel
Abandon him in the direst
Of moments
That would shape the sands
Of time
What would the future hold
Wish I would have never known
The answers to that
Now a man struggling
With what ifs
All I wanted was to be a boy
And enjoy my childhood
Wondering where all the time went
Wasting away
In the distant cries  
Of a youth that took me under with it

Scandalous beauty
Rotting in view
Why was I always the
Sacrificial lamb
I should have
Taken an oath
To draw myself closer
To you sooner
Instead I allowed
The evil to wear me like
A sad painting
Soaking up my sanity inch by inch
Consuming me
Entirely to often
All my praises
Belong to you from here on out
What happened before
Shouldn’t matter
Yet it still displaces my being
Ball and chain
Breaking rocks falling face first
I never had a say
As I was blindsided
By a life I would have written
Differently and had
It been more decent  
Terrorized by
Meaningless tyrants
Like a sick addiction
It became maddening
Forgiveness
Is a skill
I’ve never quite mastered
And probably never will
My tarnished
Image split me in two
Mirroring a hologram
Left to pick up the pieces
Has never reflected well
In my direction
As I’ve stared it all in the face
The mirrors
That have broken me apart
Sadly to this day
Are the ones I hate the most

Asunder
Birds of prey
Hard headed
Gravity
Incomplete story
In need of my
Sweet salvation
I can’t walk
On water
Wishful thinking
Out loud
Ringing the bell
Twelve rounds are up
Spiraling out
Of control
My crutch can’t withstand
The pressure
Like a stick of dynamite
Exploding daily
Fountain of youth
I’ll pass
I’d never wanna relive
All the unbearable moments here
I’ll never drink from the cup
Because I’ve seen more
Then enough of all this
So called life
For a thousand lifetimes in vain
Dead weight free falling
Into flames
Like a bomb
Falling from the sky
Catastrophic damage up next
Would you shield me from
Thee explosion
Before I fall  
To my demise  
Parachute open up your
Door to me eternally yours
I will be forever in your debt

Dissolving shadows
A faceless man
Stoic I am not
Wounded
Crimson tides
The heavy whispers
Raised
In the dimmest of corners
Obscene occurrences
Plowed me over
The stinging
Bitterness only added fuel to the fire
Sweet and sour
Far to much deception
I wanna
Travel to a place
Where nothing stands in my way
Endless pain
My heartache has
Me defeated
Has me waving
My white flag
Will the wings from
Above grab hold of my broken wings
Before the sky falls in on me
And let’s fly away forever
Fall asleep peacefully
Oxygen
Swallow me whole
Till there’s no more
Air to breathe
Holy water bathe
Me in your divine waters of purity
Saturate me in anonymity
Tell I’m free and clear
Of this place for all eternity
All brand new in a clean slate in heaven

Stingy echos
The stale air that
Fills my lungs
White noises
Silence is more then welcome
Falling on deaf ears
My howling horizons
Miles apart inside
Boxed in a compartment
Me myself
And I
Who have
I ever been deceived along thee way
Crumbling
Fields of elation
Receding daylight
Constantly over
Thinking day dreaming
Way out of my depths
You rained down
On my parade
From day one
Stripped the armor off
And left me for dead
My tsunami seas
Made me delusional
Navigating life
I couldn’t seem to read
My compass properly
The mirages that lied
That bathed my
Broken spirit in there sands
Like a mothers milk
How could I go without
You stole away my kingdom
And exiled my soul
Where would I be
If you hadn’t
Put me under your spell
The white picket fences
I’ve longed for
Instead replaced by prison bars
Of your imposter syndrome

Condemnation
Are we way past the point
Of no return
The insanity
That floods and paints
Thee streets in it’s ugly colors
Is laughable
Soldiers unite and follow
Your so called leaders
To who knows where
Unhinged and let the
Wreaking havoc explode
Appetite
For destruction
Turn the tv up a little louder
And let the fake news run wild
As there lies spew out there guts
Innocent for a minute
Just let the greed
Seep into your pores
And the hunger for power
Is like an addiction
Where’s your crown now
Boom goes the dynamite
Far to many are guilty
Yet they still run freely
How is there no consequences
Rule of law is dead
Power is the ultimate king
As all the madness
Comes knocking
In today’s chaotic world
It all blows up in your face
Take the click bait
And watch the inferno
Run you up a wall
Block out the outside noise
And run and hide if you can
Before the inferno barricades
You in it’s path
Make an alliance to no one  
Close your windows
And think for yourself
Let them insert the hatred
In someone else’s veins
Let the skies bleed red
On them all
And don’t fall for there trap
The realities of there
World should never match up
With your own opinion

Pale in comparison
Raven to my dove
Pins and needles
Interluding invaders
Like a sponge
Where’s my
Pitter patter the silence
I wanna drown in it
Salivating resemblance
Tears in my hands
Am I losing my faith
Thee ability to move on
Unhinged the kettles turning black
Not in Unison
Trivial pursuit an endless cycle
Of melancholy
A Captivity
My point of view
Has held me in
Unsteady hand cinder blocks
Have me sinking
I have never been light of foot
Walking on egg shells
Trust is gone
I left it down at the seashore
My walls went up long ago
Swan song
Sing louder help me
Float head up abound in lightness
And let the dim dark tones
Flutter on there own time

Screeching anthems
Emotional vampire
Enemy of my agony
Brittled so called friend
Nestled between
Pieces in thee deep depths Somewhere in my soul
Infringement
Igniting embers
Gaining traction
Suffocating
Caged sanity
Tourniquet barely holding
Edge of a cliff
The ferocious beasts
Are hunting attempting to
Hand in my resignation
Chain linked
Hands and feet
Oozing secrets
Sounds of fury
Reality gave me glaucoma
The killers of day colorblinded
A last glance
Burning me like a cigarette
To the last puff
Beating a dead drum
Accomplishing nothing
False pretenses
Coddling me to no end
Overprotective of
My thoughts you never were
The proofs in the pudding
Unamused beyond a reasonable
Doubt of anything I certainly was

Beyond deceiving
Better off
Forgotten
Untold fortunes
Explosive circumstances
Unfairly treated
I’ve seen
It all
On a rusty platter
Flashes in the pan
Like fireworks
They lack any true humor
I relive the
Slight hesitation
That ringing in my ear
The daylight
I’ll never redeem
What a consolation prize
The darkness became
Too afraid to
Go outside
Even open the front door
So I just hid
A cruelty
Far to often seen
Yet for some reason
Never seems to conclude
They said
Jump and you
Said how high
Clueless depictions
Wound up
Tightly and spring loaded
Then they went boom
Absolute clarity
Absorbing
All the blows
Bullies and passer byes
They did me no favors
Stitch me up nice and clean
And throw them outta
My playground
Contagious swells
Swept across
My oceans my boats continually sank
To thee bottoms of thee abyss
Prairies like wildfires
The paragraphs
Sketched deeply
In my being
Flowers hovering over my memories
Have fallen on
My grave already
Get me off this merry go round now
I’ve been around these circles
Long enough

Smug haymakers
Paint the skies red
You could cut the tension
Like a hot knife through flesh
The demise
That’s long overdue
***** little
Whispers tattered
And beaten down
Life then death
Tomorrow everything
Becomes extinct
Is this all
Pretend or just
A bad dream we can’t wake from  Point of no return
No concern
For the ultimate consequences
Hatred comes
In all shapes and sizes
In plain sight
Clear as the end days that are coming Remedies without
A real cure
The devils in the tinniest details
Hear the roar
Of the mighty beast
As the carnage takes hold
Along with the heathens
Who walk in line
Who or what
Is going to save
Us from ourselves
The propaganda that’s been
Spread for generations
The lying and brainwashing
Straight to there faces
How can a good majority
Be so gullible
Spilled like the bloodshed of the Innocent
Plenty of chaos to follow
This world Is staring death
In the face
A sad judgement day for most
Rotting in hell
But we’ve already seen it all
Here for decades
So most here probably could care less
Isn’t there a better alternative
Fear the reaper
Armageddon will eventually show its face
When the earth swallows
Humanity whole
All that’s left resembles
Smoke clouds a haze of infernos
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Hell on earth then oblivion
The purest evil that lures
A unavoidable chaos
All the bad apples that didn’t
Fall far from the tree
And the armies of lunacy
How dare them all here’s to thee end

Winding rivers
I bathe in
Stirring
False narratives
Bleed the same
Slowly
Excavating my soul
Pulling levers hoping
One should open
Elevators up to the top floor
Eventually it all crashes down
Shiny diamonds
Barricading me in there awe
Rusty copper Pennie’s
That’s more like it
Thunder and lightning
I wanna see
My skies align
Rolling hills
No end insight
Breach of contract
You and I
Never truly aligned
Like fire and ice canceling
Each other out
Never a perfect match
Hyperventilating telepathic waves
The stewing ghosts
In my closet  
Wish they knew
Like I do
How I hurt like hell
Confusing illusions daylight
To my wallowing nights  
Desperately seeking
A muse too take the lid off
Some kind of
Joyfulness to put me in it’s vise grip  
An antidote for the agony
To go away for a while
The outer spaces
Of my mind or something like paradise
Oh how I long for them

Dancing willows
Spotless movements
Never my own
Monumental gains
Unachieved
Overcome
With attrition
Last call
Use me up
And just let me go
Life’s guilty pleasures
I never found comfort in
Unlit avenues
The face of
A thousands heartaches
The stillness
Painted me like a sad scenery
As everything
Else moved about  
A grounded flight sat and wondered
Flawed character
My nostalgia ran
It’s course
The sentiments only
Grew dimmer
As time stood still against me
I became frozen
I’d gladly
Trade a pound
Of my own flesh
For an ounce of ecstasy
My darkest days here
For a slice of the pie
In the sky
Self aware of just how
Baldy and broken I’ve always been
Self acceptance the one thing
I could never truly deliver for myself

SELF-EXPRESSION
Cosmic ebb and flows
Missed the mark
Light years away
Thirsty for
My eternal sunshine
Foreshadowing hunger
In the background
The cold sheets
I lay in
The bad neighborhood
Between my ears
Like a riddle
I am
Trapped inside a maze
One foot in front
Of thee other
Oh how that would be so swell
Evil auras
Spells that were cast
I always saw
Them coming
They sent chills up my spine
Guess I couldn’t change
Direction fast enough
To get out of there way
Can you all
See me from
The mountain top
Landslides
Come in all forms
I see the pain
In which I write with
The tidal waves
That rule
The insanity of my blues
Are they truly all my fault
I rarely
Like company that I can tolerate
Let that of my own
It would be nice to be heard
Recognized by someone other
Than me
Felt adored once in while
Because I show myself
Very little love if any praise
I’ve always fallen
Flat felt like a caged animal
My one true voice
As unpleasant as it often is
Brings me a little hope and joy
An escape for a few moments
A way outta my head
Poetry my one and only therapy

BILLBOARD
Fraying
Paper heart cuts
A penny for my thoughts
The sinking feelings
In the back of my head
Swell
Has the quicksand won
Falling short
The hourglass has fallen
Fly on the wall
Shocked
Talking to god
Black butterfly sputters
Stuck in a cocoon
Trying to disguise
The hurting
Defuse the situation
At all cost
Mourning
When the sun
Won’t rise on your street
Advertisements cold and wretched
Far from fake news
From shore to shore
It continues to print tirelessly
Realistically
What exactly
Am I looking at
Head in my hands
All this blasphemy
Nazareth
Paint a prettier scenery
Produce much better results
Someone call a hearse
Inner circle
Who’s pulling the strings
Holy wars
I’m all ears
Dark ballads
Never missed
There mark
They mocked and prodded
Any chance they got
No vacancy sign
Guess it wasn’t bright enough to see
Clearly
Yet you all lived
In my head rent free
Like a bad neighborhood since birth
And I want what I’m owed
Plus back pay
A billboard that should be
Burned to scrap donated elsewhere
Idyll as I am
I’ll take a one way ticket to a new euphoria